Hello All,

I just signed up because I am looking for some help and I am having the 
hardest time finding what I need.

I live in Columbia County Georgia and I have a 12 year old son with moderate 
CP.  He has impaired speech and motor skills.  He is in a wheelchair but can 
crawl.  He can speak basic words with effort.  He is toilet trained.

To get right to it, I know that the divorce rate is high for families with children 
of disabilities.  My wife and I divorced when my son was around 6 or 7.  I have 
split custody so I have him 15 days out of the month.  I am remarried, and 
that is where my problem is.

My wife loves my son Daniel.  But lately she is growing more and more 
annoyed and aggravated with him.  It shows in how she talk to him and treats 
him.  She is almost always angry when he is over.  She has not always been 
this way with him, but it is getting worse and worse.  You can almost cut the 
tension in the air when it is his time to be there.

He tends to slump in his chair and hang his head to one side and to keep one 
of his hands clenched in a fist.  If you look at him and tell him to sit up he 
will .  He will self correct all of those things.  He will sit there with his mouth 
open and watch tv or play and he tends to drool if he forgets to swallow.  If 
you tell him to close his mouth and swallow he will with no problems.  But after 
a few minutes he reverts back and may start to drool again.

This is a huge issue for my wife.  She does not understand why he has to 
constantly be reminded.  If you look at him he will immediately close his mouth 
and swallow because he knows he should be doing that.  But for some reason 
it really upsets my wife that he constantly has to be reminded and does not 
do it on his own.  She thinks he knows he should and just chooses not too.  I 
disagree.  I don't like to see it either, but when I do, I try to lovingly remind 
him to do it.  She says I am babying him.  Am I?  I don't know.  I expect him 
to do it, but I don't get angry with him if he fails to.

What should I do here?  I am at a total loss.  This has really become a 
problem between my wife and I.  Is there a medical explanation as to why he 
constantly does that?  Can he not be expected to remember to do those 
things on his own?

Are their support groups for families that struggle with these issues?  Is 
counseling available from people who have been there and understand?  Are 
their on-line resources available that may help me?

Thanks in advance for any response.

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