Alllan,

Kat's suggestions are great, and I echo them.  As for the issues with Daniel
not remembering to hold his head up and drooling, although he's physically
and cognitively capable of doing both with gentle reminders reminds me of
myself.  I have relatively severe neck dystonia, and my head is often cocked
at an angle.  Like Daniel, I'm also capable of holding my head up, but often
forget.  I'm currently getting physical therapy that's been very helpful
with the head tilt.  Daniel may be able to receive physical therapy services
through his school, if he doesn't already.

Has there been anything that seems to have brought about your wife's
increasing irritation with Daniel's issues?  I'm from Wyoming, and there is
a parent information center/parent education network here.  If you aren't in
touch with your state developmental disabilities planning council, they'd
probably be a great resource to find the PIC/PEN in Georgia.  Here's a link
to the Georgia DD council website.

http://web.me.com/gcdd/GCDD/Home.html

and here's a link to Parents Educating Parents, which appears to be the
Georgia version of Wyoming's PIC/PEN:

http://www.peppinc.org/



Kendall

An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress
depends on the unreasonable man.

-George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950


On Fri, Mar 20, 2009 at 10:50 AM, Allan Olive <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> Hello All,
>
> I just signed up because I am looking for some help and I am having the
> hardest time finding what I need.
>
> I live in Columbia County Georgia and I have a 12 year old son with
> moderate
> CP.  He has impaired speech and motor skills.  He is in a wheelchair but
> can
> crawl.  He can speak basic words with effort.  He is toilet trained.
>
> To get right to it, I know that the divorce rate is high for families with
> children
> of disabilities.  My wife and I divorced when my son was around 6 or 7.  I
> have
> split custody so I have him 15 days out of the month.  I am remarried, and
> that is where my problem is.
>
> My wife loves my son Daniel.  But lately she is growing more and more
> annoyed and aggravated with him.  It shows in how she talk to him and
> treats
> him.  She is almost always angry when he is over.  She has not always been
> this way with him, but it is getting worse and worse.  You can almost cut
> the
> tension in the air when it is his time to be there.
>
> He tends to slump in his chair and hang his head to one side and to keep
> one
> of his hands clenched in a fist.  If you look at him and tell him to sit up
> he
> will .  He will self correct all of those things.  He will sit there with
> his mouth
> open and watch tv or play and he tends to drool if he forgets to swallow.
>  If
> you tell him to close his mouth and swallow he will with no problems.  But
> after
> a few minutes he reverts back and may start to drool again.
>
> This is a huge issue for my wife.  She does not understand why he has to
> constantly be reminded.  If you look at him he will immediately close his
> mouth
> and swallow because he knows he should be doing that.  But for some reason
> it really upsets my wife that he constantly has to be reminded and does not
> do it on his own.  She thinks he knows he should and just chooses not too.
>  I
> disagree.  I don't like to see it either, but when I do, I try to lovingly
> remind
> him to do it.  She says I am babying him.  Am I?  I don't know.  I expect
> him
> to do it, but I don't get angry with him if he fails to.
>
> What should I do here?  I am at a total loss.  This has really become a
> problem between my wife and I.  Is there a medical explanation as to why he
> constantly does that?  Can he not be expected to remember to do those
> things on his own?
>
> Are their support groups for families that struggle with these issues?  Is
> counseling available from people who have been there and understand?  Are
> their on-line resources available that may help me?
>
> Thanks in advance for any response.
>
> -----------------------
>
> To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
>
> http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
>



--

-----------------------

To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:

http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy