I may have posted about this before, but I don't remember if I did; if I
did, and it's redundant, I apologize.

I went to university at a small four-year liberal arts college in NC that
has a campus designed for disasbled students who were mobility-impaired. (I
say "mobility-impaired" because at the time  30-some years ago, there were
no accomodations for the deaf/HoH students, nor the blind, only those who
were in wheelchairs or otherwise needed assistance getting around campus).
This was back in the early 1970s and this campus at the time was one of the
very few in the Southeast with ramps and electrical doors, so I was not the
only disabled student on campus.  In my third year, I had a dormitory
suitemate, who I shall call "Judy," who was more severely affected with CP
than I was and was confined to a wheelchair because she could not bend her
legs at all.  I believe she'd had surgery at one time in which the surgeons
had removed tendons so she could not bend her legs but I really can't recall
that aspect clearly.

Now this campus was situated at the edge of a town whose population was
little more than 50,000 and they saw us students as being strange creatures
who ventured into town for beer and generally raising a ruckus and gasp!
smoking that devil weed, "Mary Jane."  (It was the early 70s, after all!).
This is to say that while most of the townspeople I encountered were nice
enough, there were a few who were, shall we say, the equivalent of the
sheriff in the old Dodge commercials - good ol' boy Southern redneck types.

This was the year I had an off-campus course 20 miles away and my dad let me
have the extra family car.  One Saturday Judy told me she needed some things
from the local Roses Discount store and I offered to give her a lift.  So I
loaded her chair into the back of the car and off we went to Roses.  We got
Judy into the chair and went into Roses.  I wandered away for a few minutes
to make my own selections and then went  off to find her. She was at the
notions section, stuffing her purchases into a fishnet shopping bag since
they didn't have any baskets and she didn't want a pushcart. We started to
go to the counter to pay for our stuff when all of a sudden this big, burly
(dare I say FAT) dude in uniform stepped out in front of us and declared we
were under arrest for shoplifting!  I was so gobsmacked, I couldn't say a
word and poor Judy burst into tears.  I guess that softened Mr. Hardass
because he unbent and told us we could leave without arrest as long as we
never came back into Roses again. I remember that as we scurried out of the
store like frightened mice, Judy left her shopping bag where she'd dropped
it, on the floor.

The drive back to campus was needless to say, rather subdued.  Neither of us
spoke a single word.  But as I parked the car in the parking lot and helped
Judy out, she looked at me and said, "Now, Kat, don't say a word, please
don't."  I simply nodded and drove off to find a parking space.

But the more I thought about it in the next few days, the madder I got.
This was so unjust and unfair, and so damned illegal.  So In spite of Judy's
plea, I went to our Dean of Disabled Students, Dr. Decker and told him the
whole story - I remember breaking down in tears after I'd got it all out and
I hadn't realised how traumatic it was for me.  He was furious.  He
immediately got on the phone and called the store manager and they
apologised and said it was all a mistake.  I even got a letter from the
company lawyer a few days letter saying the same thing and the whole thing
supposedly was swept under the rug and forgotten.

But I never did and neither did Judy.  She was so angry and upset and
ashamed about the whole thing that she never forgave me for speaking to the
dean and never spoke to me again if she could get away with it.  I did write
her a note a few years on but she wrote me back begging me not to write
again so I guess it left a permanent scar.  As for me,  it took me years to
walk into another Roses and even not I can't go into one without a frission
of fear.  As I look back on it now I feel so sad that such a small incident,
really, had such power to destroy our self-confidence.

So yes, bullying and not standing up for yourself can leave permanent
scars.  I'm so glad that people now have the avenue to sue and get
compensation for things like this.

Kat

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