Ben and I will cellebrate 25 years together on January 26th 2010. He asked
me if I would like to renew our vows. Here is a message I sent to our
pastor when he replied to me that he would be honored to help us do just
that.
I am sure some of you may remember the rough season Ben and I had about 8 or
so years ago.
You can't possibly know how wonderful it is to have Ben want to renew our
vows, to have him going to church with me, He said he would never.....ever
go
to a church again!
I remember many nights crying myself to sleep asking God how in the world I
could possibly reach Ben, he seemed to be growing more and more distant each
day. He had computer friends and didn't seem to need me. I remember telling
God that He showed David how to fight the giant, he showed him which stones
to use. What was I to use? I felt God saying I should just love Ben.....not
the answer I wanted. not an easy thing to do......what I wanted was
permission
to leave my marriage. to just end it all, this was just too hard and
certainly not what I had signed up for. But memories of my wedding vows came
to mind,
for better or worse....this was worst all right.....words of being faithful,
and true. I knew I had made a promise not just to Ben but to God as well.
If it had been a promise to Ben only I think I might have more easily
broken it, but then there was God right there in the middle of all this
anger,
hurt, and disappointment! I am sooo glad God wouldn't give me what I wanted,
but insisted I stay!
I am truly blessed and as our 25th year together comes to an end I realize
more and more how wonderful the love of God truly is! just as God directed
David
in choosing the five stones, so too He directed me in loving Ben when that
was not what I wanted to do.
I couldn' understand why God would want me to stay in a situation where I
was so hurt, where angry words criticised everything I did or
said......why???
But God can see the future, and He knew if I would only stick it out, be
strong through the rough patches I would have what I had prayed for such a
long
time for, a husband who loved me, who used his words to encourage and
support me, who talked to me about everything, someone who held me close and
made
me feel loved and secure.
Thank You Father....for your love that is soo much greater than mine, for
never giving up on your children, even when we have temper fits!
for showing me how to forgive and how to love again!
This is truly a beautiful picture of what your love can do.
I thank you for Ben, for his lovve, and that he stayed too when I wasn't the
most aggreable to live with. We are so blessed to have a marriage of three!
Rhonda
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