hahaha phil. Ain't that the truth! That's cute, but definitely not going
to be repeated!
Jenifer Gilley
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----- Original Message -----
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, February 17, 2009 10:56 AM
Subject: Attention Jen - Unholy Humor
> It's Not Worth Repeating - Not In Church Anyhow.
>
> A pastor of a large church stood up to preach one Sunday. He
> began by making an announcement.
>
> "I have been given an opportunity to accept the position of head
> pastor at..."
>
> Before he could finish, a large man stood to his feet. His voice
> was loud and echoed through the large auditorium. "Pastor, before you
> make your decision final, I would like to make you an offer. I build
> homes for a living. If you and your family will stay, I will, for
> free, build you a nice two story, six bedroom, four bathroom, triple
> car garage, with a full sized swimming pool on ten acres of land.
>
> Another man jumped to his feet. His voice boomed louder than the
> first man's. "Pastor, I'll add to that offer. As everyone knows, I
> own the Cadillac dealership in town. I'll give you, free of charge, a
> new Caddy of your choice each and every year that you stay.
> Furthermore, I will give your wife the Cadillac SUV so she can take
> your children to school every day in luxury."
>
> A third man stood to his feet and said, "I am the chairman of the
> board and if you'll stay, pastor, we will triple your salary and give
> you eight weeks of paid vacation."
>
> About this time, a little old lady by the name of Mrs. Johnson,
> the oldest member of the church at 95 years of age, struggled to her
> feet. Her voice was loud and sharp and everyone could not have
> helped but listen. she said, "Pastor, I've talked it over with my
> husband and I will offer you sex every night for the rest of your life
> if you will stay."
>
> You could have heard a pin drop by the time the pastor found his
> voice. He said, Mrs. Johnson, what ever in the world caused you to
> say such a thing?"
>
> She smiled and said, "Well, pastor, I leaned over and asked my
> husband if we could do something to encourage you to stay and he said,
> 'Screw him.'"
>
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