This is just weird.  I can't be the only one who has never had such 
thoughts.  This post would cause us all to think we all have had such weird 
thoughts, but, I never have had such thoughts.  I will admit I have 
questioned why God allows certain things to happen but I have never even 
considered hating God, or questioning his infinite wisdom.  Merely I 
wondered why certain things such as the loss of my husband's mind, for 
example, would happen.  I questioned how these things could happen if God 
loved and cared for us.  But I have never denied his existence or 
disrespected him in any by hating him.  I can't be the only one who has 
never at all had such thoughts?
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, April 20, 2008 2:11 PM
Subject: I Hate God


>I Hate God
>
>
> By Phil Scovell
>
>
>
>     One thing I try and teach those with whom I pray, is about
> how demons use thoughts and emotions, or feelings, to deceive us.
> Nearly everyone reading this article has experienced such thoughts
> and feelings, and probably many times throughout your Christian
> walk with the Lord, but likely have never determined its identity.
> I could describe a lot of things people experience, or feelings,
> physically, and perhaps emotionally, too, when the Enemy is
> tossing his fiery darts, but let me begin with one that is common.
>
>     You may hear in your thoughts, not an audible voice you
> understand, but just thoughts within your thoughts, "You are a
> lousy Christian."  This can vary widely, from being the worst
> sinner on the planet, doomed to hell, or even accusations that
> you deserve how you feel because you are a wicked, mean, evil
> person.  I'd had people sit across from my desk tell me, "If
> people knew what I really was down inside, they would hate me and
> stay as far away from me as possible."  When I pray about what
> they just said and try probing deeper, they often describe that
> inner feeling that frightens them about themselves is evil.  Some
> may even confess they have Satan in them or a devil or demon and
> conclude that must be why they think and feel the way they do
> about themselves.  Likewise, few Christian believe lying spirits
> use feelings, their own feelings, the confuse and to deceive.
>
>     Let me explain another level, a more sinister level, of
> deception the Enemy uses against us many times and that is the
> direct approach.
>
>     Recently, I was going through some things in my own life that
> were incredibly stressful.  That doesn't mean, in particular, it
> was demonic, but it could just have easily been the stress and
> tension of every day life.  At least three times, I believe it
> was, and all over a period of a couple of days, in my thoughts I
> heard, "I hate you God."  Woe horse!  I mean, here is one way, we
> immediately think, of eternal condemnation, the unpardonable sin,
> and blasphemies against God, on the fly, as it were.  In fact, we
> are lucky we don't get struck by lighting when something like that
> passes through our thoughts.  Right?  If a person reacts favorably
> to such a thought, that is, agrees with it as legitimate, all
> hell breaks loose.  All sorts of things get conjured up and
> invoked.  For example, "Well, this confirms it.  I'm going to
> hell.  I deserve it, too after thinking such a heinous and
> nefarious thought."  This is, of course, only the beginning.
> Many people, young or old, can begin to experience all sorts of
> such thoughts  Some even begin acting out based upon those thing.
> Getting drunk so often until you think you've killed the thoughts
> in your brain, getting so high you can't see the ground, living
> immorally, heterosexually or homosexually, just to have some
> degree of pleasure to try and override the horrible thoughts, and
> some get involved in new age, which are really old age, religious
> practices to try and clear their mind of the evil thoughts they
> think they are having.  Some even join cults to try and filter
> out, or at least tone down, the horrible thoughts in their minds.
> Some even turn to violence.  How many of the satellite and cable
> shows have you seen of serial killers where their neighbors,
> after finding out he killed 38 people in the last four years, say,
> "Oh, he was such a nice guy.  He took out my trash, shoveled my
> walk, and even mowed my lawn," while all the time they were living
> next door to a murderer.  How do you suppose those types of
> horrible people got to be murderers?  Do you suppose they just
> awakened one morning and said, "I feel like killing someone today,
> cutting off their head, and having sex with the corps?  Of course
> that isn't the way it begins.  They generally all have gotten a
> mighty good jump start from being physically, and generally,
> sexually, abused as children.  I remember one such program I watch
> of a guy who killed a couple of young women and in prison, he told
> about his dad who always talked about how much he hated him as his
> son, always physically beat him, sometimes for nothing he had
> done, and once he picked up his dog, tossed the dog into the air
> as high as he could, and shot the dog in front of the little boy
> before his dog could hit the ground.  That poor little boy had no
> chance because his immature mind could not, in any logical way,
> sort out all that was happening to him.  In every serial program I
> have watched, and I deliberately watch many of them, I wait until
> they talk about the murderer and his life that led up to a life of
> murderous crime.  They all, every one, have similar horrid
> childhood beginnings.  I've even heard them, after killing dozens
> of people, say, "The voices in my head told me to do it and the
> only way I could silence the voices is to do what they said."
> Well, excuse me, but that ain't God talking in their head so whom
> do you suppose it might be?  No, I'm not saying they shouldn't be
> imprisoned, in fact, I'm not even suggesting they shouldn't be put
> to death for their crimes.  I am saying, these horrible cases
> developed often by being jump started in some very traumatic and
> cadaverous ways.  Let's go back to the every day experience,
> however, and focus on that, instead of the worst, in order to gain
> greater spiritual insight.
>
>     As I said, or started to say, I recently experienced, in my
> thoughts, what normally used to be a quite unsettling and
> disturbing thought: "I hate you God."  In times past, this thought
> would be accompanied by an apprehensive flush of anxiety and fear
> that would blow the needle off the panic meter.  You see, the
> flush of sudden anxiety feeling confirmed the thought must be
> true.
>
>     One day, I was sitting on a chair just off the edge of the
> driveway keeping track of my two little grandsons riding their
> trikes.  This same identical thought, and feeling, slammed into me
> like a truck running over my body.  I immediately freaked.  "Oh,
> my God!  I must be an evil person.  Why, I can't be saved.  No
> born again Christian would ever even think such a thing."  That is
> what I normally began to embellish in my thoughts, emotions
> corresponded to confirm the thought.  However, I had been having
> some healing experiences which were making me more attuned to the
> voice, or thoughts, of  the Holy Spirit, than the Enemy.  So, when
> this thought penetrated my thinking patterns, the emotional
> counterpart accompanied the thought so I would be deceived into
> thinking that I really, deep down inside, hate God.  This time, on
> the other hand, something unique occurred.  A split second the
> thought invaded my thoughts and the feeling slammed into my body,
> I sucked in my breath out of fear that this was who I really was
> deep down inside.  The next second, my thoughts said, "Hey, wait
> just a minute.  I don't hate God and never have.  Holy cow!  this
> is a lying spirit attacking my mind.  Oh, great!"  This joyful
> attitude arose because I had already learned, the origin of such
> thoughts were not coming from deep inside of me but they were
> lies of the Enemy always coming from the outside.  I said, "Oh,
> god.  This is wonderful.  Now I can pray and find where this lying
> spirit is," and I opened my mouth to pray.  It was too late.  The
> lying spirit instantly recognized my awareness of his identity
> through his thoughts he was putting in my mind and his emotions he
> was putting on my feelings, and it was like a sonic boom just
> exploded.  Something I felt, spiritually speaking, on my back,
> blew off like dynamite had just gone off.  In my thoughts, my
> mind's eye sort of speak, he blew miles backward and guess what?
> The anxiety began to slowly subside until it eventually went away
> all together.
>
>     So, when this recently happened again, honestly, you'd think
> they would change tactics after awhile, the instant the thoughts,
> "I hate God," invaded my thoughts, I stopped what I was doing
> before the feelings of fear and anxiety could be dumped on me by
> the demonic presence and I prayed against the lies of the lying
> spirit and all those who might be working under his authority.
> The anxiety never reached my feelings once during the three times
> this happened because I took the thought captive the second I
> heard it in my mind.  My point is this.  The lying spirit spoke in
> the first person, "I hate God."  That made it sound like I said it
> but I couldn't say such a thing because I have the Holy Spirit
> dwelling in my spirit and He, the Holy Spirit, always agrees with
> the Scriptures, the Word and voice of God, and never lies.  Thus,
> the Holy Spirit came along side of me and assisted me is seeing
> the lie instantly and the lie never was able to take a foothold in
> my thoughts or feelings.
>
>     We often forget that it is our spirit, where the Holy Spirit
> dwells, that is born again.  Glorification doesn't take place,
> that is, the salvation of our body and soul, until Jesus comes.
> Think of it in terms of our Lord's own resurrection.  He needed no
> blood then because all three parts, body, soul, and spirit, were
> glorified in one body so He did not have the same existence as he
> did when He was born of a virgin.  You understand what I mean?
> Think about it for awhile and while you are thinking, take every
> thought captive when necessary.
>
>
> It Sounds Like God To Me.
> www.SafePlaceFellowship.com
>