Ken,

These are great!  It would take me years to learn as many clean jokes as
you've got right here!

Kyle

-----Original Message-----
From: Cerebral Palsy List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
Of ken barber
Sent: Sunday, October 28, 2007 9:54 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: a few more sillies for janet

 **************************************************
 
 A woman came home, screeching her car into the
 driveway, and ran into the
 house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top
 of her lungs, "Honey,
 pack your bags. I won the lottery!" 
 
 The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack,
 beach stuff or mountain
 stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out"
 
 ************************************************** 
 
 Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
 always right, and the other is a husband.
 
 **************************************************
 
 A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a
 driver's license. 
 First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
 The optician showed him a card with the letters:
 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
 
 "Can you read this?" the optician asked.
 
 "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
 
 
 **************************************************
 Mother Superior called
 all the nuns together and said to them,
 
 "I must tell you all something. We have a case of
 gonorrhea in the convent."
 
 "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm
 so tired of chardonnay." 

no offence for any Catholics on the list.
 
 **************************************************
 A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her
 husband.
 
 Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
 
 "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more
 butter! Oh my GOD!  You're cooking too many at once.
TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need
 more butter. O h my GOD! WHERE are we going to get
 MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful .
CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me
 when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are
 you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to
salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" 

 The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong
 with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple
of eggs?"

 The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show
 you what it feels like when I'm driving."
 


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