That's Why We Pay Taxes

The Church Today


By Phil Scovell






     The church has changed.  A woman in need of a wheelchair is
referred to a government agency because, after all, why should a
church have to pay for a standard wheelchair for 500 dollars, or
an electric wheelchair for several thousand dollars, when a
government agency will buy it?  Besides, isn't that why we pay
taxes?  Of course, if she now needs wider doorways in her home
and a ramp up to her front door, or special adaptive equipment for
her car so she can continue to drive, the church certainly
shouldn't have to pay for that when the government can and should. 
A blind man, who needs new prosthetic eyes for cosmetic purposes
and to improve his overall facial appearance, shouldn't expect the
church to be responsible since his insurance company can pay the
6,000 dollars for the eyes and the 45,000 dollars required for
the corrective surgery.  Isn't that why we pay taxes?  He can
always wear sunglasses in the first place.  That we will freely
buy him, if they are cheap ones, that is, and not the Oakley
brand.  The husband, whose wife dies of cancer, can in no way
expect the church to pay for his wife's burial even if he doesn't
have any coverage to pay for the funeral home and cemetery plot. 
I mean, this isn't what the church does.  Besides, that's what
insurance companies are for.  So what if the guy can't afford the
premiums?  We preach the Gospel, for crying out loud, we don't
sell insurance policies, and we can't be expected to do socially
oriented things.  Besides, isn't that why we pay taxes?  The old
fart can burn his wife's body with the trash next week so he don't
need the church to pay for a 12,000 dollar funeral.  For that
matter, he can use the church incinerator out back.  that'll work. 
The bipolar man or woman, or the bulimic or anorexic or PTSD, or
OCD, or General Anxiety Disorder individual, or the Personality
Disorder person, or the mentally ill in general, most certainly
can't rely on us to help them.  I mean, after all, this isn't a
hospital we are running here and most certainly isn't a psych
hospital; that's for sure.  Besides, isn't that why we pay taxes? 
You people with CP, MS, MD, CA, FM, PG, ADD, ADHD, DID, UA, VD,
DUI, diarrhea, habitual masturbatory problems, marijuana
addiction, alcoholism, mental disorders, baldness, foot fungi,
suicidal tendencies, skin rashes, tooth decay, sexually abnormal
fetishes, and gas can't expect the church to do what only the
hospital can do for you.  We preach the Gospel and minister to
only the spiritual needs.  You know?  Salvation?  Well, there is
one other thing.  Two, really.  You must give us 10 percent, once
you are saved, of course, and you must attend every time the doors
are opened.  Otherwise, rely on the government for everything
else.  thank you Jesus and praise the Lord.  Isn't it about time
to take up the offering?


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