Verily  Suntou,
 
Orphanage created by separation/divorce is most pesky. We encourage  
marriage, especially when children have already been conceived, but we also  
acknowledge that the salvage value of some marriages according to the partners  in 
marriage warrants terminal divorce. The children of such divorces are  indemnified 
in such eventuality. And, any secours for such children and needy  spouse 
could have the collateral effect of reunited families.
 
You are quite right in that communal assistance generally depends the whims  
of members of the Orphaned children's family, clan, or immediate community and 
 the scope of such assistance depends not only on the capacity of the 
benefactors  but on other relationship-calculus. Meanwhile, the orphaned children 
still need  secours for value-life.
 
I understand that children orphaned by a parent/s who are on scholarship  
overseas, volunteering with an NGO, gainfully employed by corporations, or  who 
are economic refugees overseas, do have discretionary lattitude in ensuring  
the continued sustenance of their children or reuniting their families. It still 
 remains that many a children are orphaned in such situations. Therefore, any 
 regime of secours, albeit transitional, must take into consideration 
delinquent  parents. For it is the children who will be the main focus. Perhaps 
effort to  negotiate between such parents and family members could form part of the 
secours  if the period of orphanage exceeds a certain Flux (30-40 days). What 
do you  think?
 
I have read your notes on spouses who leave wives behind and wander the  
earth as economic refugees. However, I was not aware of your notes on  parents who 
leave children behind. Perhaps you could kindly share that with  us as part 
of this conversation.
 
I understand you to view Orphans of deceased parent/s to be more important  
than other types of orphans. I would caution such comparative assessment. This  
is perhaps why some programs for orphans lack the requisite address. The  
reason is that an orphan is one who lacks the minimum parental nurturing  and 
support. We recognize that even children orphaned by the death of one or  both 
parents do grow up to attain majority age, or as you advised, may obtain  the 
requisite nurturing and support from other family or community members.  Indeed 
are better off than some orphans of divorced parents or  politically-exiled 
parents, the latter of which could be our next  sub-topic.
 
Suntou, you share some serious commentary and I encourage you to propose  
some regime of secours to your imam both in Coventry and Gambia and encourage  
your friends and family to do likewise. Should our conversation here yield some  
added secours, I hope you will be an integral part of, and participant to  
such.
  
Haruna.
I  encourage you to Goodsearch for The GLobal Democracy Project
Raise funds for  your favourite charity by using _www.goodsearch.com_ 
(http://www.goodsearch.com/)  - powered by  Yahoo!

 
 
In a message dated 7/1/2008 4:52:28 A.M. Mountain Daylight Time,  
[log in to unmask] writes:

Haruna,  the angles you highlighted are very important. orphans are not in 
the  situation of death but also through divorce and other peculiar engagements. 
 from the perspective i see it is that, communal assistant goes with family  
ties and close friendship. in our context as Gambians, one may find it  
difficult to categorise men/women who are away from their children for years  as 
orphan children. i have highlighted that in the commentary i did on  "Gambian 
immigrant in U.S" some of our brothers leave young children and alas  they never 
witness the growth of this children, the families .extended family  look after 
this kids. but the most important of orphans are orphans through  the usual 
understanding, that is death. as i am writing this, two more  Gambians has 
passed away in the U.K. one in Manchester and another in Crowley.  i don't know 
the names yet, but i attended emergency meeting today to raise  fund for the 
deceased Kalifa saidykhan in Coventry. so understanding orphanage  is
very important. keep up the enlightenment. May God bless the soul of  this 
two Gambians. amen.


This conversation has taken us  through an identification of who orphaned 
children are. We have narrowed  our focus to a critical Flux term reserved 
for 
bereavement. That is  normally between 30-40 days or until the monogamous 
spouse 
re-marries. The  perspective is to devise a plan of secours that encourages 
family cohesion  and reunions, and discourages divorce or singular life. The 
Flux  period/term is underpinned in religio-traditional lore and therefore 
will  
be worthwhile to investigate what assistance regime churches and mosques  
have 
in place for such secours. Any considerations we make here will help  to 
augment those programs and where non-existent, we encourage congregants  to 
propose 
it to their church, mosque, or synagogue.

In the area of  Orphanage which is a result of a parent or parents separated 
from their  families due to assignments, work, scholarship, or volunteer work 
 
overseas, it is safe to say that that falls more under the purview of the  
individual concerned and the NGO, employer, and or benefactor. It is  
sometimes 
hard to turn down a lucrative job assignment, scholarship, or  volunteer work 
overseas especially for citizens of developing countries.  However, if we are 
married or have children, it is only prudent that we  insist on some 
accomodation, in writing, from employers, benefactors, or  NGO's, for a 
schedule of 
re-uniting with our family not to exceed a period  of one year. I understand 
that 
some employers and NGO's already take such  responsibilities into 
consideration but it may be harder for educational  benefactors especially 
non-governmental scholarships. In such cases, and  as part of your 
negotiation, you are best 
advised to negotiate for on  campus or part time work and possibly airfare to 
visit your family at  least once a year. The part time or on-campus work is 
to 
enable you to  still support you familial responsibilities and other 
incidental  expenses.

Some of us volunteer with NGO's as one of my brothers is  doing now in Darfur 
as am sure many are doing. It is comforting to know  that NGO's incorporate 
considerations for our own families we leave behind  as we lend a hand to 
others around the world who are suffering. I advise  all NGO's to consider 
such if 
they haven't already and to encourage family  cohesion, to afford volunteers 
family leaves at least once every six  months. If the duration of 
volunteering 
will last longer than 3 years, I  recommend rotating volunteers in much the 
same way as soldiers serving  overseas are rotated. Soldiers, whether 
peace-keeping or war-making or  defensive, fall under the purview of 
governments and 
multi-lateral  agencies so we will not consider soldiers in this conversation.

It  therefore appears that work or scholarship-exiled Parent/s have enormous  
lattitude and secours for their families. We have now removed such  children 
from our consideration of Orphaned children. We can turn our  attention to 
Orphanage caused by Political-exile.

Haruna. I yield  for ideas/suggestions/other views.
In a message dated 6/27/2008 7:16:52  P.M. Mountain Daylight Time, 
[log in to unmask] writes:

Thank you  Suntou.

You have, perhaps unawares, further advanced the conversation.  I caution 
against limiting orphanage to ONLY the absence of the father. I  was at great 

pains to not yield to that albeit impressive angle. That  said, I want to 
commend 
you for bringing up an important point  viz:
"i am proud of many Gambian brothers who are divorce with spouses but  still 
take turns to look after their kid's. that is also another important  thing." 

Suntou.

I will only add 'sisters' where you have  brothers but the anecdote points 
us 
in this if transitional direction  in the conversation to yield secours -

Most communities of folk have  traditions of assistance to orphaned children 
who have lost one or both  parents. Even though this does not readily 
address 
orphans of exiled  or estranged parents, it is worth our while to inventory 
what resources we  already have on the ground and expand on those. That is 
why 
what you  shared is so valuable.

I understand that in Wollof, Mandinka, Jola,  Fula, Sarahule, Toucouleur, 
bedouin, Moor, Touareg and Serer traditions,  when a father is deceased, one 
of 
his brothers, cousins, or another  member of his family undertakes to 
nurture 
his bereaved wife and  children. This tradition however is quasi-religious 
and 
part ethnic.  In Christian communities, I do not know of a specific 
tradition 
for a  brother, cousin, or family member to re-marry the bereaved wife of 
their  kin. However, the kind Christian heart does offer secours for the 
bereaved  
family only the wife either becomes a widower for life or is free to  
re-marry 
as she so chooses. Both safety nets are valuable for they  provide a 
semblance of stability and haven for the children. So in effect,  there is 
some 
structure of continued support for the children and  bereaved wives. Now 
then, when 
the mother is deceased, the father is  generally free to re-marry n'importe 
qui (as he desires) but advised to  marry a wife who will be diligent in 
nurturing the orphaned children as is  reasonable within their means. More 
often, the 
death of one or both  parents diminishes the family's resources 
significantly 
to a point  where despair sets in. Other times, the man is married to other 
wives with  whom he has children. In such cases, we must redouble our 
efforts 
as  'other wives' to accept such children as our own and nurture them the 
best  
way possible. Some such communities may have a tradition of allocating the  
children to the wives for shared secours.

It appears therefore that  it is the diminished resources of the bereaved 
wife or husband that we  ought to focus on to find additional support. At 
least 
until they  re-marry. This transitional period can mean the difference 
between  
continued valuable life and death. For example; the brother who, by  
tradition, 
must offer secours for the bereaved children and wife, may  himself already 
be struggling for food, home, nad education for his own  children but out of 
honour and respect, cannot refuse to take in the  bereaved family. The 
bereaved 
father has more discretionary lattitude  but still may need a critical 
helping 
hand during the transitional  period of loss of the mother and when he 
re-marries. We can see that in  all cases, the transitional period which I 
will call 
the Flux term for  brevity, is common to all. While re-marrying can be 
encouraged, the  children still need help during Flux. Most traditions have 
a period 
of  bereavement for the wife (not sure if this is true for the husband),  
generally between 30 - 40 days. Perhaps for those traditions, a focus on  
Flux 
Secours can be valuable.

Now none of what we have  discussed so far has bearing on the orphans of 
exiled or estranged  parent/parents.

I yield now for more  ideas/suggestions/views.

Haruna. 




In a message dated  6/27/2008 7:59:14 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, 
[log in to unmask]  writes:

haruna, interesting. your human side is amazing. i wrote a poem  about 
children who grow up only with their mothers, i haven't publish it  yet. i 
am proud 
of many Gambian brothers who are divorce with spouses  but still take turns 
to 
look after their kid's. that is also another  important thing. 
unfortunately, 
two years ago, i was in touch with an  American lady who had a child with a 
Gambian but the marriage ended and  the man moved away, the lady was looking 
for a Gambian to connect the  child.
you raised valid points masoud.

Haruna Darbo wrote:
I have  been wondering about the affairs and plight of children who have 
lost  

one or both parents. The query brought me to a need to identify such  
children. Help me out if you can please.

I am inclined to describe  orphaned children as follows:

1. Those children who have lost a Father  and or Mother.
These children span all ages, from the baby who is nursing  and suddenly 
robbed of his or her parent/parents, to the adolescent who is  on the verge 
of 
taking epochal matriculation exams, to the adult who  has relied on his or 
her 
children's grandparents to nurture his or her  own children. It runs the 
gamut. 
Suddenly there is not the person who  calls you in from play when darkness 
descends or to call you to prayer.  The one who answers the principal's 
summons 
when you run roughshod of  school rules or to receive your teacher's 
personal 
commendation for  your good work. The one you share with your friends when 
you 
take  turns boasting about your pedigrees. The one who recognizes you must 
see  
a doctor/dentist when you begin losing your first teeth. The one who brags  
to 
other parents about you or solicits counsel for you. The one who  takes you 
fishing, hunting, canoeing, tree-climbing, or on your first  ferry-ride. The 
one who cleans your nose in her mouth. The one who defends  you when other 
errant parents want to pin juvenile crimes on you in  deference to their own 
knuckleheads. The one who tells you not to climb  out the window when he or 
she 
goes to sleep just so you can join you  friends at the Jafandu party. 
Reminiscences. Life support.

2. Those  children who are abandoned if only temporarily.
These children have at one  point in their lives or for all their lives 
dealt 
with one or both  parents going away for further studies with the hope of 
reunion (which  desire is oft overtaken by other consideration and 
intervening 
time  and events) or exiled by rogue governance, or overseas  appointments.

Perchance, there is some way to yield such children  relief and afford them 
a 
semblance of stability and continued  value-life. Some of these parents may 
have been the sole breadwinners of  the family or may have been married to 
one 
or more wives the latter of  whom are themselves at the precipice of hunger, 

despair, and possibly  suicide.

I encourage my friends here to consider these children and  elevate the 
conversation to some meaningful secours as only the mighty and  
conscientious 
of 
Ellen might be capable of. I now yield for other  view/suggestion/ideas.

Thank you my friends and fambul.
Haruna.  









**************Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for 
fuel-efficient used cars.      (http://autos.aol.com/used?ncid=aolaut00050000000007)

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L Web interface
at: http://listserv.icors.org/archives/gambia-l.html

To Search in the Gambia-L archives, go to: http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?S1=gambia-l
To contact the List Management, please send an e-mail to:
[log in to unmask]
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤