Dear Virgie,

Well, I have forgiven Dad, and I don't even know why I brought it up, 
because He is no longer with us, and maybe I'm feeling guilty, I 
don't know. I have also asked God to forgive me, as well.

This really isn't a problem in my heart and mind, I don't think it 
is, anyway. <smile> I'm not depressed about it.

Thanks for praying.

Lovingly,
Pat Ferguson



At 02:12 PM 1/6/2008, you wrote:
>Pat,
>I am sorry this happened to you and it is only through help from our 
>Lord that we are able to forgive such things.  I am glad you can 
>forgive him and move on with your life.  The love of our Lord Jesus 
>will get us through many difficult times.  Thank you for sharing 
>with us, my prayers are with you.
>
>Huggs and many blessings to you,
>Virgie and Lady Hoshi
>----- Original Message ----- From: "Pat Ferguson" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Saturday, January 05, 2008 7:19 PM
>Subject: Re: Why Don't I see It?
>
>
>>Phil, That really hit home with me, as I had a similar situation 
>>with my step father, when I was in my teens. I was living at home, 
>>at the time, but when I left home, and I'm so glad I got to the 
>>point where I said "no" to him, but he never gave up.
>>
>>I always hated it when he would come over to my apartment when I 
>>lived by myself, and this was when I was in my twenties. He would 
>>want something and well, he thought he could take me out to lunch, 
>>and I would give in to him. That did not happen.
>>
>>He did ask for forgiveness many years later. I forgave him for 
>>those things he did to me.
>>
>>Blessings,
>>Pat Ferguson
>>
>>At 05:09 PM 1/4/2008, you wrote:
>>>Blinded By A Doublebind
>>>
>>>
>>>By Phil Scovell
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>      She had been just a little girl when her father began
>>>molesting her.  Later, as a teenager, she would learn from her
>>>mother that early in their marriage, sexual intercourse had ceased
>>>to exist because she, the mother, no longer wanted that type of
>>>intimacy from her husband.  The little girl, therefore, became
>>>his unholy sexual outlet.  No, there are no excuses here.  Sin is
>>>sin and evil is evil and crime is crime and this is all of that.
>>>Today, such a molester would go to prison and the mother would go
>>>free in spite of her sin but both will be judged as accountable
>>>before the Judgment Seat of Christ some day regardless of
>>>societal lack.
>>>
>>>      We were praying.  The vivid memory of a teenager came to mind
>>>and she began to cry.  We prayed some more.  "I'm ashamed," she
>>>admitted through her tears.
>>>
>>>      "I understand," I said quietly.  "It's ok."
>>>
>>>      She confessed the memory was of her mid teens.  She entered
>>>her father's bedroom as he stood in front of a dresser and
>>>prepared to go out.  A mirror on the back of the dresser reflected
>>>their image.  "I'm so ashamed of what I did, Phil.  I don't think
>>>I can tell you."  She was crying nearly uncontrollably now.
>>>
>>>      "You don't have to go there if you can't.  Just listen."  I
>>>prayed more and asked for the Lord to show her the way.
>>>
>>>      "Oh, I am so ashamed," she repeated.  "I was trying to show
>>>off.  I was trying to get my dad to notice me."
>>>
>>>      "Notice you how?" I encouraged; knowing the answer already
>>>but also knowing this was where the Lord had led her.
>>>
>>>      "I wanted him to notice me sexually," and now her words,
>>>through her crying, were almost unintelligible.  "It was all so
>>>wrong," she cried.
>>>
>>>      I said softly, "You knew it was wrong when you were little,
>>>too?"
>>>
>>>      "Yes," she wept and whimpered almost as a little girl.
>>>
>>>      "He even tried again years later when you were 13 but you ran
>>>from him.  Right?" I asked.
>>>
>>>      "Yes, I did run away from him.  It was wrong and I knew it.
>>>Then why did I try and show off this time to him?  I knew better."
>>>
>>>      "That's a good question," I said.  "Lord Jesus, what is the
>>>answer to her question?  Why did she try and show off sexually to
>>>get her father to notice her in her mid teens?"
>>>
>>>      As she cried quietly, she finally said,  as the spiritual
>>>awareness bloomed in her spirit, "I was deceived."
>>>
>>>      "yes," I responded, "you were.  Furthermore, you were trapped
>>>in a doublebind."
>>>
>>>      She asked what that might be.
>>>
>>>      "It is when the Enemy deceives us into believing a lie with
>>>no way out, that is, we are trapped at either end."
>>>
>>>      "Then," she said, "how was I trapped in this situation as an
>>>older teenager and my dad?  I knew by this time it was wrong and
>>>even sinful."
>>>
>>>      "Of course you did.  When you were 4 and 5 years old," I
>>>explained, your little mind wasn't mature enough to fully
>>>understand all that was happening to you.  Besides, it was your
>>>dad.  Your dad loved you so how could what he was doing be wrong?
>>>That's what you thought anyway.  Yes, even this concept alone
>>>conceived confusion in the little girl's mind.  Then, when the
>>>little girl grew older, her power of reasoning matured and she
>>>knew it was wrong and she ran away."
>>>
>>>      "But I still don't understand," she interrupted, "why I
>>>tried to get him to notice me sexually as an older teenager?  It
>>>was hideously wrong."
>>>
>>>      "What was the one word answer the Lord told you when I asked
>>>Him to reveal the truth of that question to you?"
>>>
>>>      "He said I was deceived."
>>>
>>>      "Right," I agreed.  "The Enemy deceived you into thinking,
>>>because of what happened repeatedly as a little girl who didn't
>>>understand, it was now ok as a big girl because, after all, your
>>>father loved you, and you loved your father.  It was a lie of the
>>>Enemy as a little girl and it was still a lie as a big girl."
>>>
>>>      "I see it now," she almost whispered.  The devil lied to me
>>>from the beginning.
>>>
>>>      The man said, "But why did I do it?"
>>>
>>>      He was referring to a teenage incident where he molested his
>>>younger sister.  There had been no penetration, no skin-to-skin
>>>contact, and no removal of clothing but regardless, it was sin and
>>>he knew it.  The man had lived his entire life with the guilt and
>>>trapped by it's heaviness for decades.
>>>
>>>      "I was a Christian at the time, too.  I knew better.  I knew
>>>it was wrong.  I knew it was sin but I still did it.  Why?" he
>>>pleaded.  Although the man was free of the sin, unless he found
>>>the way of escape God had prepared for him, the guilt would return
>>>and he knew it.
>>>
>>>      "Lord, why did he do it?" we prayed together.
>>>
>>>      The man suddenly sat very still as if something had just
>>>entered the quietness of the room and he were listening.  Then he
>>>sat up.  "I heard it.  I know the answer," he announced
>>>confidently.  "This is it."
>>>
>>>      "What was that," he was asked.
>>>
>>>      "I did it because I was deceived."
>>>
>>>      "You are right," the intercessor answered.
>>>
>>>      "I'm free!  I'm totally free," the man proclaimed with
>>>finality.  "It's gone for ever," and so it was.  The man now saw
>>>God's truth and knew it wasn't what he really wanted to do; it was
>>>what he had been deceived into doing.  That is, he was deceived
>>>into committing sin which only a loving God could forgive who had
>>>vicariously died in his place.
>>>
>>>      A woman was enjoying the afternoon.  The weather was
>>>beautiful and she had enjoyed her walk.
>>>
>>>      "It's a beautiful tree, isn't it?" came the smooth pleasant
>>>silky voice from the exquisitely beautiful shining creature.
>>>
>>>      She stopped and looked.  "Yes, as a matter of fact, it is
>>>quite beautiful.  Everything God makes is beautiful," she
>>>commented as she had so many hundreds of times over the years.
>>>
>>>      "Have you noticed the fruit?" the voice asked.  "It, too, is
>>>quite beautiful.  It must be delicious."
>>>
>>>      The woman said nothing but watched.
>>>
>>>      "Why not try some of the fruit?  After all, you deserve it."
>>>
>>>      "Oh, no," she replied.  "We are forbidden.  In fact, if we
>>>eat the fruit of this tree, we will die.  We aren't even suppose
>>>to touch it."
>>>
>>>      "Oh, come on," the voice chuckled.  "Die?  that's a laugh.
>>>You are eternal.  You can't die.  Besides, if you eat this fruit,
>>>you'll be like me; like a god.  You'll know everything; good and
>>>evil.  I know good from evil and I am eternal as are you."
>>>
>>>      The woman stepped closer.  The fruit was lovely in
>>>appearance.  It certainly would be good tasting as beautiful as it
>>>looked.  Somehow, it even appeared that to eat of such fruit would
>>>increase her wisdom, too, so she gingerly pulled the fruit from a
>>>branch and bit into its richness.
>>>
>>>      I'm certain this story is familiar, if you've read the Bible,
>>>because this was what happened to Eve and eventually to her
>>>husband, Adam.  Do you see the doublebind Satan used on Eve just
>>>as He has on others?  If she didn't eat the fruit, she wouldn't be
>>>as a god.  If she did, on the other hand, she would be as God;
>>>wise and eternal and all knowing.  Who wouldn't want that?  Eve
>>>was trapped by the words of the Evil One for such was his plan.
>>>Deceived by the master Deceiver.
>>>
>>>      Are you trapped as well?  Has he also used a doublebind on
>>>you as he has on so many others throughout time?  There is a way
>>>of escape.  It is the Word of God expressed in His voice.  If you
>>>cannot clearly hear His voice, you, too, will be locked in
>>>deceitfulness for ever and carry the guilt of your own sin.
>>>Jesus died to make His voice clear and to lift the guilt away.
>>>
>>>
>>>It Sounds Like God To Me.
>>>www.SafePlaceFellowship.com