Jen,
It's a tear jerker though isn't it?
Kathy




At 07:27 AM 3/5/2008, you wrote:
>kathy i found that book.  halfway through the dramatic version.  verry good!
>if anyone wants it i've got it on my puter, let me know how i can get it to
>you.s
>
>Jenifer Gilley
>Christ came that we may have life everlasting!
>  Email:
>[log in to unmask]
>msn-no email please:
>[log in to unmask]
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: The Electronic Church [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On
>Behalf Of Kathy Du Bois
>Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2008 9:38 AM
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: my story.
>
>
>Gen,
>This was very powerful.  Thank you so much for
>sharing.  You might want to see if you can track
>down Focus On the Family's dramatized   version
>of Frank Pereti's book "Tilly."    I'll warn you
>now that you will cry, but you may also find
>healing.  That is what the book was intended to do.
>God bless,
>Kathy
>
>
>
>
>
>
>At 04:43 AM 3/4/2008, you wrote:
> >hi all.
> >It took me almost nine years, but  i was finally able to write this down.
> >It wasn't easy and i pray that others would benifit.  ***warning*** long!
> >The Truth Behind the Walls
> >
> >         Most people don’t know what really goes
> > on behind the walls of an abortion
> >clinic… unfortunately I do.  I had an abortion on March 18, 1999.  Some
> >would criticize me, and call me heartless and say I was going to hell.  I
> >would call myself stupid, scared, but forgiven!
> >
> >         It was a dreary kind of cold Thursday
> > morning as I rode to the clinic with
> >my parents.  The father of my child didn’t go with us… he chose to stay
> >behind and deny what was going on.  I was about ten weeks pregnant and my
> >life was spinning out of control.  I had just found out I was pregnant
>about
> >a month before, and during that month it seemed like my life was no longer
> >my own.  I let my parents tell me that I had no other choice but to abort
>my
> >little girl.  I figured that the father wasn’t helping me with the decision
> >so what choice did I have?
> >
> >         As we rode the forty-five minutes to
> > the clinic I laid on the back seat
> >with my seeing eye dog Claudia next to me on the floor.  I had so many
> >thoughts going through my mind, yet I had nothing going through it at the
> >same time.  I was scared and at that point I didn’t care if the procedure
> >killed me.  That’s what they called it… the abortion was a procedure, the
> >fetus was a pregnancy, and the mother… well she wasn’t considered a mother.
> >I had to sign a lot of things and listen to some stuff the day before about
> >the *risks* of the *procedure*.  They included but are not limited to:
> >breast cancer, tremendous blood loss that could lead to a transfusion,
>liver
> >damage, and possibly death.  Who wouldn’t be scared?
> >
> >         I knew that the tiny twitch going on
> > inside of me was a person, but I was
> >too scared to stick up for her!  The crazy thing?  I had written a story
>for
> >an assignment of my senior year of high school that included a girl not
> >going through with her abortion.  Laying there I thought “could I be that
> >girl?  Would I have the nerve?”  My parents were talking to each other… not
> >about what was about to happen.  They left me to my own thoughts
>thankfully.
> >
> >As we pulled up to the clinic door, my mom said to me, “You know… if I were
> >in your shoes, I would be doing the same thing.”  I seriously wanted to
>spit
> >at her.
> >
> >As I numbly got out of the car with Claudia, it was like I was a zombie.
>It
> >wasn’t me who was doing this.  It wasn’t me who was about to go kill a
> >child.  It couldn’t be.
> >
> >The first few hours were just waiting.  Then it happened all at once.  The
> >doctor-if you could call it that, was late because… get this!-he was
> >delivering a baby!  Crazy huh?  So, they found me a new doctor.  I still
> >remember her name-dr. lumly.
> >
> >First was the sonogram.  I remember asking what my baby looked like, and
> >they said the fetus looked normal, my mom didn’t say a word.  Then was the
> >scale where they weighed me.  I remember my weight.
> >
> >Then they took me to this room.  Claudia stayed with my mom and dad.  This
> >lady came in to get the anesthetic ready and I asked her a question.  I
> >asked her first if I could ask the question to which she said it was ok.
> >Then the question: “has anyone just got up and walked out.”  The monster
> >didn’t answer me!  I swear this, if I could’ve seen I would’ve ran out of
> >there and found a way for me and my daughter to make it.  But I was so
> >horrified and alone… it was horrible.
> >
> >Then the doctor… murderer… whatever you want to call her came in.  she told
> >me to lie back, and they stuck the needle in my arm.  From the minute the
> >needle was in I started to cry.  During the whole thing, I just felt like I
> >was being held.  I was not alone in that room.  I hadn’t came back to God
>at
> >that point, but I feel that He knew my heart and He was with me.
> >
> >When it was over I found myself in this room… it sounded like a big class
> >room wide open etc.  I was still crying when I woke up.  My parents said
> >that when they were told how I was doing, they had to physically pick
> >Claudia up so she wouldn’t bolt.
> >
> >I don’t remember leaving the place.  I remembering making my parents pull
> >over several times because the anesthetic they gave me made me throw up
> >several times.
> >
> >When we got home, I couldn’t believe where I was.  Everything was normal.
> >My brothers didn’t have a clue.  I remember feeling so horrible because my
> >brother Eric, who didn’t have a clue… a few weeks earlier we had been
> >playing around and he hit me really hard in the stomach.  I thought to
> >myself, “maybe he’ll kill my baby so I don’t have to.”
> >
> >The months after my abortion I think I was suicidal.  Well not really
> >because I don’t think when it came down to it I would’ve done anything
> >really.  Then I found the Left Behind Series.  I was addicted.  Growing up,
> >I never knew the God that they talked about.  Sure, I’d been baptized, but
>I
> >don’t think I ever knew God.
> >
> >I was baptized and re-dedicated on 10/01/02.  And for almost 3 years I was
> >in love with God.  I still struggled, I was still in pain.  My
> >boyfriend-Skyla’s (my daughter’s) father broke up with me and found someone
> >else.  But God was with me through it all.
> >
> >Then, my father was killed in a motor cycle accident.  I still deal with
> >issues of anger towards someone who doesn’t even know I’m angry with him
> >because I didn’t go see my father the weekend before he died.  But I know
> >that I’ll see my daddy again.  I’m limping back to God because I know He is
> >the only one who cares, that you can cling to, that you can lean on!  I
>know
> >my daddy knows I forgave him, even though I never came out and told him.  I
> >know he’s up there right now holding my little girl.  My daddy and Skyla
> >Ilene will be the first people I will see.  I know that my little girl has
> >forgiven me.  I don’t know if the father has ever dealt with it, and all I
> >can do is pray for him.  He is not my responsibility any longer.
> >
> >I write this now because in two weeks, will be the 9th anniversary of my
> >abortion.  I’ve never let Skyla go, and I’ve learned that I don’t have to.
> >She’ll always have a piece of my heart.  But now that Jeremy and I are
> >trying to start a family, I have to acknowledge that fact that I don’t have
> >to let her go.  I can keep her and know she is in the best care possible.
> >She’s my first-born, my little angel, and with her papa.
> >
> >Skyla Ilene barr (name given by god)
> >Due date-(confirmed by god) September 25, 1999
> >
> >Whispers From Heaven
> >Mother, dear, dear Mother,
> >could we talk, you and I?
> >When I look down from Heaven,
> >sometimes I see you cry.
> >I want so much to hug you then
> >as tight as tight can be,
> >Because I think the tears you shed
> >are sad, sad tears for me.
> >Dear Mother, I forgive you,
> >O please believe I do!
> >It must have been so difficult,
> >so very hard for you.
> >They told you things would be all right,
> >your life would just go on,
> >But never said how much you'd weep
> >and grieve when I'd be gone.
> >Yet we can still be very close
> >and love each other, too,
> >For though I'm now with God,
> >I'LL ALWAYS BE A PART OF YOU.
> >So Mother, won't you NAME me, please
> >and from my Home above
> >I'll hear you and I'll come each time
> >you call to me with Love.
> >I'd like to be the faithful friend
> >in whom you can confide;
> >Your sentinel before God's Throne,
> >the Angel at your side.
> >So TALK to me and SING to me,
> >and PRAY with me, please do!
> >And when you send a smile to me,
> >I'll send one back to you!
> >So don't be sad, Mother,
> >you'll be fine, I know,
> >For I'll be there in Spirit
> >where're you may go.
> >And when God brings you home to me,
> >my heart will know true bliss,
> >As I run up to greet you
> >with a great big hug and kiss!
> >Love,
> >Skyla Ilene Barr-was due 09/25/1999
> >
> >***author unknown***
> >
> >
> >Jenifer Gilley
> >Christ came that we may have life everlasting!
> >  Email:
> >[log in to unmask]
> >msn-no email please:
> >[log in to unmask]