Christian Humor


            Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl 
whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

            "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is 
the happiest day of her life."

            The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So 
why is the groom wearing black?"

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            A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as 
fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran 
she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, 
please don't let me be late!"

While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, 
getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed 
herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again 
began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late ...But please 
don't shove me either!"

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            Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their 
fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a 
piece  of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second 
boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece 
of  paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy 
says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece 
of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect 
all the  money!"



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            An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, 
she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions 
for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while 
I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."

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           A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would 
you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call  for backup."



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            A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and 
Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child replied, "They 
couldn't get a baby-sitter."

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            A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten 
Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the 
commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is 
there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and 
sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou 
shall not kill."

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            At Sunday School they were teaching how God created 
everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially 
intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's 
ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though 
he were ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little 
Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to  have a wife."

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            Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after 
hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, 
"What  do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy 
replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably 
just your  Dad."