Tee,
I'm praying for wisdom and direction, which are promised in God's Word for
you as you walk with Him and ask. I can emphasize with you about emotional
trauma, as I have experienced obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety
relating to my spiritual well-being, not realizing what was happening with
me. Jesus feels your pain. I also believe that He is able to help you,
even to want to trust Him, and to take care of the cold turkey withdrawals
too, as He continues to show you The Truth that's setting you free.
Sharon