So Phil, I've got a question for you? If you had known then what you know 
now, meaning that you know now that your anger was about your blindness 
which we all understand, how would you have reacted? What would you have 
done differently? I mean sure you probably wouldn't have kicked down the 
door, but what would you have told your son?

Just curious.


Lelia
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, July 20, 2007 8:17 PM
Subject: Re: Anger


> Brad,
>
> Excellent examples.  I'll add another personal one.  My 20 year old son
> wasn't living for the Lord and I knew it based upon the way he started
> talking to his mom and dad.  He had a good job, as he does now, and made
> good money for not going to college.  Sandy and I were talking to him one
> night due to a lie we caught him in and his behavior.  He walked out on me
> as I was talking.  I'm standing in the dining room and he, knowing if he
> went quietly, walked out of the dining room, through the kitchen, and down
> the basement steps.  I realized I was talking to nobody when I heard his
> door close downstairs.  My anger was already engaged but now it shot off 
> the
> scale.  Fortunately, I was wearing my cowboy boots instead of my 
> moccasins.
> I ran down the stairs, and kicked the damn door down.  I said it that way 
> to
> show just how mad I really was.  It was a hollow core door.  I would have
> not kicked it if I would have known it was solid core.  I'm not stupid.  I
> punched a hole through the door and ripped half the door off and out of 
> its
> frame.  I told my son, at top volume, which is pretty high for a Baptist
> preaching pulpit pounder, that if he ever did that again, walk out on his
> blind father...  Bingo.  As I said, I was already angery about his 
> behavior
> and coming home late and lying and several other things I wondered about 
> in
> my heart.  I didn't kick the door down because of what he did, even 
> walking
> out on me.  I kicked his door in because I was blind.  What he did was
> remind me just how blind I was and of course we all know just how stupid
> blind people are.  Thank you Satan.  It's you I should have kicked that
> night and not my door.  The dumb door still doesn't hang in the frame 
> right
> to this day even though we replaced the door itself.  Would my son have
> walked out on me if I could see?  Not likely.  My blindness still hurts in
> places but I let Jesus heal them every time it gets triggered and the pain
> rushes to the surface of my emotions.  You know something?  I felt better
> after kicking the door half off its hinges and thus was fooled for years
> into thinking it was my son's behavior I was mad about and now I know it
> wasn't him at all.  I was mad at my blindness, myself for being blind, and
> especially at God for letting me go blind.  I'd be 50 years old before I 
> was
> able to hear the Lord explain it to me, only to discover, of course, Jesus
> was never mad at me although I had been mad at him for the majority of my
> life.  Try and tell me Jesus doesn't know what's going on.  We be His 
> plan.
>
> Phil.
>
>
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