Phil,
Both my kids, from the time I started experiencing vision problems enough
that could allow them to take advantage of it, knew that was a big no no.
Of course kids like to test the rules. One day the kids were home, it was
summer time, I was home doing the Mister Mom thing, and my wife was off to
work. I thought, "Hey. Those kids are awful quiet, I wonder where they
are." So I walked around the place, "Nope, not in the house anywhere", I
walked downstairs to the basement, "Nope. Not in the basement either".I
walked outside, "Nope, not in the garage either". So I walk out in the
extra lot we have and look around behind the garage. "Nope, not here
either". By now I'm sort of concerned. So I started calling for them. I
could still see within a narrow field of vision but missed stuff easily. I
called and called and called and called. I went over to the neighbors and
looked around. Nothing. I walked around the neighborhood and up the alley.
"Nope. Not here." Finally I figured. "OK. It's time to call the wife and
have her come home from work and we'll go looking around". So she comes
home and we're looking all around. Finally they show up. Turns out the
little imps were hiding up in some Pine trees we had in the back lot
watching the whole time. At first they thought it was a joke, but then
figured if they came out they'd get a "what for" and finally realized they
couldn't stay there forever. I was pretty livid. Both for pulling that
stunt in general but also yes because I was blind and yes also because
they took advantage of that fact. They disrespected their dad's wishes and
rules. And yes, blindness was the foundation of one part of the anger,
but also just the general stunt and disrespect. For me, it was both
because I was blind and because of their disrespect for me as a parent.
And of course my fear was that something had happened to them period, and
that perhaps because I was blind I might not know it. And also I was
fearful that they'd try this again so got angry.
Brad
on 09:17 PM 7/20/2007, Phil Scovell said:
Brad,
Excellent examples. I'll add another personal one. My 20 year old son
wasn't living for the Lord and I knew it based upon the way he started
talking to his mom and dad. He had a good job, as he does now, and made
good money for not going to college. Sandy and I were talking to him one
night due to a lie we caught him in and his behavior. He walked out on me
as I was talking. I'm standing in the dining room and he, knowing if he
went quietly, walked out of the dining room, through the kitchen, and down
the basement steps. I realized I was talking to nobody when I heard his
door close downstairs. My anger was already engaged but now it shot off
the
scale. Fortunately, I was wearing my cowboy boots instead of my
moccasins.
I ran down the stairs, and kicked the damn door down. I said it that way
to
show just how mad I really was. It was a hollow core door. I would have
not kicked it if I would have known it was solid core. I'm not stupid. I
punched a hole through the door and ripped half the door off and out of
its
frame. I told my son, at top volume, which is pretty high for a Baptist
preaching pulpit pounder, that if he ever did that again, walk out on his
blind father... Bingo. As I said, I was already angery about his
behavior
and coming home late and lying and several other things I wondered about
in
my heart. I didn't kick the door down because of what he did, even
walking
out on me. I kicked his door in because I was blind. What he did was
remind me just how blind I was and of course we all know just how stupid
blind people are. Thank you Satan. It's you I should have kicked that
night and not my door. The dumb door still doesn't hang in the frame
right
to this day even though we replaced the door itself. Would my son have
walked out on me if I could see? Not likely. My blindness still hurts in
places but I let Jesus heal them every time it gets triggered and the pain
rushes to the surface of my emotions. You know something? I felt better
after kicking the door half off its hinges and thus was fooled for years
into thinking it was my son's behavior I was mad about and now I know it
wasn't him at all. I was mad at my blindness, myself for being blind, and
especially at God for letting me go blind. I'd be 50 years old before I
was
able to hear the Lord explain it to me, only to discover, of course, Jesus
was never mad at me although I had been mad at him for the majority of my
life. Try and tell me Jesus doesn't know what's going on. We be His
plan.
Phil.
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