Reeva, good one.
earlier, Reeva Parry, wrote:

>To All Our Family And Friends:
>
>
>Just a note to let you know we are hoping to see you Thanksgiving Day. But ...
>Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you
>in advance, so don't act surprised.
>
>Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes:
>
>Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a
>trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming
>lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.
>
>Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with
>the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I've
>gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful
>autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea.
>
>The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or
>crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone
>will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the
>plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.
>
>Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I
>promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration
>hand-crafted from the finest construction paper.
>
>The artist assures me it is a turkey.
>
>We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while
>you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment 
>I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. 
>Please remember
>that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the
>turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds.
>
>As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of
>tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a 
>recording of
>tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a 
>frozen turkey
>in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.
>
>We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start
>of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've also
>decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds,
>please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of
>harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a 
>separate room. Next door.
>
>Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in
>front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our
>dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I
>stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the 
>kitchen to
>laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my 
>progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands 
>to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.
>
>I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that "passing
>the rolls" is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your sister
>in the head with warm tasty bread.
>
>Oh, and one reminder for the adults: For the duration of the meal, and
>especially while in the presence of young diners, we will refer to the
>giblet gravy by its lesser-known name: Cheese Sauce.
>
>If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or type of Cheese
>Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese Sauce stains.
>
>Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice
>between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional
>pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. 
>You will still
>have a choice; take it or leave it. I hope you aren't too 
>disappointed that Martha
>Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably 
>won't come next year either.
>
>Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!
>
>
>
>
>--
>No virus found in this incoming message.
>Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.503 / Virus Database: 
>269.16.0/1136 - Release Date: 11/17/2007 2:55 PM

John


-- 
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition. 
Version: 7.5.503 / Virus Database: 269.16.0/1136 - Release Date: 11/17/2007 2:55 PM