Hello Allan:


Welcome to Cerebral Palsy!  (I am trying to be serious .)  My name is
Kathy Jo Pink .  I was born with Cerebral Palsy.  please feel free to
e-mail me off-list.  I know what you must be going thru, Allen.

On 3/20/09, Allan Olive <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Hello All,
>
>  I just signed up because I am looking for some help and I am having the
>  hardest time finding what I need.
>
>  I live in Columbia County Georgia and I have a 12 year old son with moderate
>  CP.  He has impaired speech and motor skills.  He is in a wheelchair but can
>  crawl.  He can speak basic words with effort.  He is toilet trained.
>
>  To get right to it, I know that the divorce rate is high for families with children
>  of disabilities.  My wife and I divorced when my son was around 6 or 7.  I have
>  split custody so I have him 15 days out of the month.  I am remarried, and
>  that is where my problem is.
>
>  My wife loves my son Daniel.  But lately she is growing more and more
>  annoyed and aggravated with him.  It shows in how she talk to him and treats
>  him.  She is almost always angry when he is over.  She has not always been
>  this way with him, but it is getting worse and worse.  You can almost cut the
>  tension in the air when it is his time to be there.
>
>  He tends to slump in his chair and hang his head to one side and to keep one
>  of his hands clenched in a fist.  If you look at him and tell him to sit up he
>  will .  He will self correct all of those things.  He will sit there with his mouth
>  open and watch tv or play and he tends to drool if he forgets to swallow.  If
>  you tell him to close his mouth and swallow he will with no problems.  But after
>  a few minutes he reverts back and may start to drool again.
>
>  This is a huge issue for my wife.  She does not understand why he has to
>  constantly be reminded.  If you look at him he will immediately close his mouth
>  and swallow because he knows he should be doing that.  But for some reason
>  it really upsets my wife that he constantly has to be reminded and does not
>  do it on his own.  She thinks he knows he should and just chooses not too.  I
>  disagree.  I don't like to see it either, but when I do, I try to lovingly remind
>  him to do it.  She says I am babying him.  Am I?  I don't know.  I expect him
>  to do it, but I don't get angry with him if he fails to.
>
>  What should I do here?  I am at a total loss.  This has really become a
>  problem between my wife and I.  Is there a medical explanation as to why he
>  constantly does that?  Can he not be expected to remember to do those
>  things on his own?
>
>  Are their support groups for families that struggle with these issues?  Is
>  counseling available from people who have been there and understand?  Are
>  their on-line resources available that may help me?
>
>  Thanks in advance for any response.
>
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>
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>


-- 
Kathy Jo Pink
e-Mail Addresses:  [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask],
[log in to unmask], and [log in to unmask]



Pogo Usual ScreenName:  PerkPinkPerky

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