Ken,

That last one was absolutely the BEST!!!  Gave me a good laugh as I  
needed a break from working on my comprehensive exams.  Let's just  
say taking three classes, preparing a dissertation proposal,  
completing comps, and raising a 17 month-old makes me need the humor  
to just stay SANE!!

Linda
On Oct 28, 2007, at 9:53 PM, ken barber wrote:

>  **************************************************
>
>  A woman came home, screeching her car into the
>  driveway, and ran into the
>  house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top
>  of her lungs, "Honey,
>  pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
>
>  The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack,
>  beach stuff or mountain
>  stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out"
>
>  **************************************************
>
>  Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
>  always right, and the other is a husband.
>
>  **************************************************
>
>  A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a
>  driver's license.
>  First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
>  The optician showed him a card with the letters:
>  'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
>
>  "Can you read this?" the optician asked.
>
>  "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
>
>
>  **************************************************
>  Mother Superior called
>  all the nuns together and said to them,
>
>  "I must tell you all something. We have a case of
>  gonorrhea in the convent."
>
>  "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm
>  so tired of chardonnay."
>
> no offence for any Catholics on the list.
>
>  **************************************************
>  A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her
>  husband.
>
>  Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
>
>  "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more
>  butter! Oh my GOD!  You're cooking too many at once.
> TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need
>  more butter. O h my GOD! WHERE are we going to get
>  MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful .
> CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me
>  when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are
>  you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to
> salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.
> Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
>
>  The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong
>  with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple
> of eggs?"
>
>  The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show
>  you what it feels like when I'm driving."
>
>
>
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