OK, I'm scratching my head here because I don't recall anyone saying that
anyone is responsible for Heidi's son having CP or any other developmental
disabilities and if the social worker thinks so, then she ought to go back
to school.
Now, if the SW thinks that Heidi's making too much of things that she sees
as normal, then the exam will prove her wrong if there is a developmental
disability. Note that I'm careful in not using the term CP as there are a
lot of developmental disabilities out there and CP is just one of them.
Ih my opinion, the best thing to do is to relax and let the doctors do
their exam. Kendall, how can Heidi not have the SW there if she insists on
being present?
Kat
Original Message:
-----------------
From: Kendall D. Corbett [log in to unmask]
Date: Mon, 23 Jul 2007 11:14:27 -0600
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: C-PALSY Digest - 20 Jul 2007 to 22 Jul 2007 (#2007-136)
Heidi,
I'd suggest that you have the exam without the social worker present
at this point. Let the PT and OT (and possibly a developmental
pediatrician/neurologist) rule out any physical/organic causes for
your sons delays first. Then, if those are ruled out, talk with the
social worker, or another counselor, as it sounds like it will be
difficukt to build a good working relationship with this social
worker. He/she may have the best intentions in the world for
mentioning possible psychological causes for his delays, but I'd think
ruling out other causes first is a good strategy.
I'm not going to say whether G-d had anything to do with his delays,
as I don't know what your faith life is. I'm definitely not a
Calvinist, so I'm sure your son wasn't pre-ordained to have the delays
that he has. After I was born, and later after I had my stroke,
"friends" of my mother said that G-d was punishing her (or me) for
things that had happened in our past. That was definitely BS. I will
say that I learned things through my disabilities that have been
beneficial spiritually, whether that is in my faith, or just in how I
deal with those whose lives I touch, and whose lives touch mine.
On 7/23/07, Tamar Raine <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Here's an idea. God is only an imaginary idea, like the tooth fairy, it
is people that run the world. sometimes shit happens, and it's nobody's
fault!
>
> Heidi, that's a load of bs that it's your fault. gopefully the exams
will prove that, so you can begin to get him some help.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Tamar Mag Raine
> [log in to unmask]
> http://www.zazzle.com/TamarMag*
> www.cafepress.com/tamarmag
> Lots of new art & designs ~ come and look!
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----
> From: heidi tibollo <[log in to unmask]>
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Sent: Sunday, July 22, 2007 9:59:02 PM
> Subject: Re: C-PALSY Digest - 20 Jul 2007 to 22 Jul 2007 (#2007-136)
>
>
> Hi all,
> We have an early intervention assessment this week with a PT and OT to
see if we qualify for help for our son with gross motor and possibly Speech
and gagging issues. My concern is that the social worker will be there
also. She alluded last week that my sons delays may be due to my
"overcaring nature" and mothers sometimes are too concerned and hovering.
Made my blood boil but I said nothing. Now I am concerned she may influence
the PT and OT. Do I say something at the onset of the evaluation? Say
something only if they say he doesn't meet the criteria? The social worker
thought I should be introducing more foods and found out I am an attachment
parent (co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding). My older son was very
allergic to all dairy and eggs so I haven't introduced them into my younger
son's diet yet and, hello,- he gaggs and doesn't seem to have any interest
in chewing. My husband feels that I am responsible for our sons delays "too
nurturing yet
> not engaging enough"-
> his (and his mother's) explaination as to why my son has been globally
delayed with motor and intellectual milestones. What do I say to this- do I
want to be right, that my son does have some issues and prove my husband
wrong. I would be thrilled if I was the reason for all the delays yet
somehow I am hurt that he blames me. (to be fair he says he's not blaming
me just pointing out what he thinks) Very frustrating.
> Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
> Thanks
> Heidi
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----
> From: C-PALSY automatic digest system <[log in to unmask]>
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Sent: Monday, July 23, 2007 12:00:49 AM
> Subject: C-PALSY Digest - 20 Jul 2007 to 22 Jul 2007 (#2007-136)
>
>
> There is 1 message totalling 110 lines in this issue.
>
> Topics of the day:
>
> 1. GO-D FOOD FOR THOUGHT PLEASE READ Are we to blame for our son's
brain
> dysfunction? - Latest Questions
>
> -----------------------
>
> To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
>
> http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2007 12:16:49 -0400
> From: Meir Weiss <[log in to unmask]>
> Subject: GO-D FOOD FOR THOUGHT PLEASE READ Are we to blame for our
son's brain dysfunction? - Latest Questions
>
> http://www.chabad.org/library/article.asp?AID=3D541123
>
> =20
> Printed from Chabad.org=09
>
> Are we to blame for our son's brain dysfunction?
>
> Question:
>
> My son was diagnosed with a form of brain dysfunction. Please let
me =
> know if his parents or grandparents did something to deserve this =
> punishment. Should we blame ourselves for his illness? Also, how can we =
> help him?
>
> Answer:
>
> I am sorry about your son's diagnosis. It can be a difficult time for =
> parents to reach an acceptance of why things happened this way. Often, =
> they will incorrectly blame themselves or fault themselves for a child's =
> sickness.=20
>
> We do not know why G=E2=80=91d runs His world as He does. We do not =
> understand why there is suffering, sickness, poverty, hunger or the many =
> seemingly unfair challenges and tribulations in our world.=20
>
> We are told that sometimes very great souls need to descend to this =
> world. These souls are so lofty that the physical realm cannot contain =
> them, so they come into a body that "shatters" from its impact. Your =
> son's brain might be somewhat dysfunctional because of the great holy =
> soul that is enclothed within it. Many parents of special needs children =
> vouch for this, explaining how despite the child's many needs, these =
> children have a certain purity to them, or a certain power to them, in =
> helping others to accept them because of who they are, not what they can =
> give to this world, or to their families. Such children teach us the =
> power of real love--a love that is not based on any preconditions.
>
> As far as your question if you did anything to "deserve" this: Special =
> children are most often given to very special families, who can see =
> beyond their external dysfunction to the beauty of their soul. No, I do =
> not think you should blame yourself for your son's sickness.=20
>
> As far as what you can do to help him--as with any area of our physical =
> world, its source is in the spiritual worlds. You can obviously help =
> this child by doing mitzvot in his merit. You can choose any mitzvah =
> that you like--extra charity, extra prayers, helping someone in need, =
> mezuzah, kashrut, etc.--and keep it in his merit. You will thus be =
> strengthening him spiritually and hopefully physically too.=20
>
> While G=E2=80=91d listens to all prayers, the supplications of a =
> tzaddik, a righteous individual, are especially potent. I would advise =
> you to write a note to be placed on the Rebbe's gravesite, asking him to =
> pray on your child's behalf. Click here =
> <http://www.chabad.org/article.asp?AID=3D36248> to find instructions on =
> how to do so.
>
> Wishing you success and blessings,
>
> Chana Weisberg for Chabad.org
>
> =09
> =09
>
>
> <http://www.chabad.org/images/new/feedbackTL.gif> =
> <http://www.chabad.org/images/new/feedbackTR.gif> =09
> Chana Weisberg is a noted educator and columnist and lectures
worldwide =
> on issues relating to women, faith, relationships and the Jewish soul.
>
> All names of persons and locations or other identifying features =
> referenced in these questions have been omitted or changed to preserve =
> the anonymity of the questioners.
>
> =09
>
> The content on this page is copyrighted by the author, publisher and/or =
> Chabad.org, and is produced by Chabad.org. If you enjoyed this article, =
> we encourage you to distribute it further, provided that you comply with =
> the copyright policy <javascript:void(0);> .
> =09
> <http://www.chabad.org/images/new/feedbackBL.gif> =
> <http://www.chabad.org/images/new/feedbackBR.gif> =09
>
>
> ________________________________
>
> Chabad.org <http://www.chabad.org/default.asp> =C2=B7 A Division of the =
> Chabad-Lubavitch Media Center =
> <http://www.chabad.org/generic.asp?AID=3D32812>=20
> In everlasting memory of Chabad.org's founder, Rabbi Yosef Y. Kazen =
> <http://www.chabad.org/generic.asp?AID=3D36222> =20
>
> =C2=A9 2001-2007 Chabad-Lubavitch Media Center
>
> =09
>
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> ------------------------------
>
> End of C-PALSY Digest - 20 Jul 2007 to 22 Jul 2007 (#2007-136)
> **************************************************************
>
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--
Kendall
An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950
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