John, you have written from great wisdom! I agree with you!
Helen
At 07:29 AM 12/23/03 -0600, you wrote:
>Phil, I think one reason that we bury and suppress these problems is
>because they can't be resolved. Sometimes, we have to live with them and
>do the best we can.
>
>At 09:23 AM 12/22/03 -0700, you wrote:
> >I would like to think, being the fine Godly Christian man that I am, tongue
> >in cheek, that I would always do the right thing and always make the right
> >decisions when faced with any circumstance that comes my way. Yet, I have
> >not always made the right decision and I definitely have not always acted
> >Christian when faced with certain situations. We are in the midst of a huge
> >family mess right now in which accusations have been made that are totally
> >false. It would appear that no matter how much explanations were made, the
> >misunderstanding wants to stay in place. For example, last night I was
> >accused of something I not only never thought but never even said.
> >Unfortunately for me, one thing I hate more than any other, is being accused
> >falsely and especially of something, as I said, I never even thought, let
> >alone said. My reaction? It wasn't anything remotely Christian in nature;
> >I can tell you that much for sure and it wasn't pretty. The experience
> >Kathy mentioned earlier about something one of her children turned and used
> >against her? What she described is small potatoes when compared to what I
> >am talking about. I would explain it all to you, that is, the story and all
> >that has happened, but it would take days to read that email message if I
> >did write it all down. Plus, it hasn't happened once but dozens of times.
> >Regardless, my point stands. We can talk Christian all we want and tote the
> >big black Bible to church every Sunday and say Amen in the appropriate
> >places and sing at the top of our lungs and shake the preacher's hand on the
> >way out the door but let somebody, your own family for example, accuse you
> >and use you and then say it is all your fault when you have literally done
> >absolutely nothing, then let me know how you reacted to what happened. You
> >may say you know what's right and you may believe it with all your heart and
> >you may fully intend to always do what's right but watch one of your own
> >children accuse and misuse his own mother and then turn around and blame her
> >for the whole thing, and see how calmly your Christian character comes into
> >play. I have been blind for 39 years. I have lived totally on my own,
> >without my family's help, for 32 of those 39 years. I have been accused of
> >everything, during those years, by family members, and others outside the
> >family, of being bitter, of feeling sorry for myself, of being too narrow
> >minded, of being a liar, of being insensitive, of being too sensitive, of
> >being lazy, of being unchristian, and just about anything else you want to
> >toss on to the pile. That was just my family. I won't even get into people
> >outside the family and what they have said. The nature of such
> >relationships is such that these things create pain and anger and sometimes
> >fear and a lot of other things. Being the fine Christians that we are, we
> >bury these things because Godly people do exactly that. Or so we are taught
> >to live. Unfortunately, repressing and suppressing these things doesn't
> >help because years later, when another conflict arises, it stirs up those
> >old memories and flames them right back into life again. I know because I
> >have had this happen to me so many times over the years, there is no way to
> >keep track of them all. I know one thing for sure; they all hurt. Have you
> >ever tried to get somebody to understand something only to discover they not
> >only did not understand or comprehend but didn't want to in the first place?
> >I explained something three or four times to someone last night who still
> >said he didn't get it. Why? Because if he said he understood it, he would
> >have been wrong and he did not want to be wrong. Christmas is a wonderful
> >family trigger. If you don't think the Enemy works overtime during the
> >Christmas season, you are in for a surprise. I would love to say something
> >about this time concerning demonic activities in such things but people
> >already think I am a devil hunter and find a demon under every rock. So I
> >will forego the spiritual darkness behind all such conflicts. Regardless,
> >I'm just pointing out that any situation can press a Christian into reacting
> >and responding in ways they wouldn't normally. I'm sure glad we serve a God
> >who cuts us a lot of slack because people don't.
> >
> >Phil.
>
>John
>
>Never argue with a fool - people might not know the
>difference.<*>
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