Hi Teri,
I understand depression and those feelings you describe here.  I know those 
feelings of lonliness and feelings of worthlessness too.  My prayers are 
with you and I know that our Lord Jesus is always with you.  My friend, turn 
it over to the Lord and let him shoulder your burdens as only He can.
Huggs and blessings,

Virgie and Lady Hoshi
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "joysetb4me" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, September 06, 2007 2:10 AM
Subject: What I am going through right now


> Well, I am very depressed and can't seem to find a sane soul that
> understands my heart right now. I am feeling a lil like Job with his 3
> friends that gave him countless words of advise, but no real answers that 
> he
> could grab a hold of. . I am hurting, but trying to allow God to soften 
> and
> change my heart. If you do not want to read the following letter I wrote 
> to
> God, its ok. I just needed to send it somewhere, so someone would know 
> what
> I feel right now at 6:50 PM Wednesday evening. I love you all sweet tee
>
>
>
> Dear Jesus,
>
> I am not sure what I am doing wrong, but I feel pressured by those around 
> me
> to hurry up in the healing you are doing. Lord, you know I am having 
> severe
> trouble with loneliness and depression. I really would like to know how to
> let yo be God and Lord supreme in my life. I am just not sure how to let 
> you
> all the way in, Jesus. I can't seem to get past blaming and resenting 
> others
> for my condition. Even now after so much healing, I feel so empty and 
> broken
> I wish you would let me come home. I mean how will I ever make a 
> difference
> I f I can't conform to the middle class stereo typical Christian? I hate
> their judgments and standards, God. They will not listen to me or change, 
> I
> am the one in error. Mean while they pollute their doctrines on to other
> poor broken hurting people that have trouble meeting their standards. I 
> get
> complaints all the time from these lost sheep of yours that the Church 
> does
> not understand them. But how can I help? I mean I am as poor and broken as
> these you want me to help. According to the powers that be, I am not 
> coming
> up to standards in daily living skills. Lord, I feel backed up into a 
> corner
> and I feel so trapped.
>
> I feel confused about so many things. I am about ready to throw in the 
> towel
> on trying to fit in. So, I quit asking for money, clean my house, go to
> every Church service, you know it will be something else they will have
> issue with. Was I born just to be an outcast or what? Well, I just wanted 
> to
> get all of this off my chest. I know I am having a hard time understanding
> all I need to do. I really hope you will unclog my heart and help me to
> listen, respond and be obedient. I hate feeling resentful. Its just not 
> Your
> way. Please forgive me for all of this self- absorbed chatter and self- 
> pity
> Thank you for allowing me the space just to poor out my heart.
>
> Please come and be near me Lord Jesus. I need you more now than ever. I
> really love you. Love your sweet tee rose.