Hi Everyone,
INow I know this is off topic, but since I wanted to share a good laugh
with all of you, I thought you would enjoy this medicine from a merry heart.
I needed this laugh. Hope you will too.
Vinny
----- Original Message -----
From: "R&S Annett" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <Undisclosed-Recipient:@mail.pris.bc.ca;>
Sent: Saturday, November 15, 2003 1:19 PM
Subject: Fw: The Middle Wife (priceless)
> Isn't this about the cutest thing?
>
> How would you like to be this teacher? A grammar school teacher from
> Miami,
> remembers this Oscar-worthy birth tableau from one of her students...
>
> "I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,
> but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade
> classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I
> always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over
> shyness and experience a little public speaking. And it gives me a break
> and some
> guaranteed entertainment.
>
> Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model
> airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never,
ever
> place > any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to
> school and talk about it, they're welcome.
>
> Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,
> takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
> stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is
> Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
> First Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a
> seed in
> my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through
> an umbrella cord."
>
> She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to
> laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her
in
> amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts crying and going,
> "Oh,oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked
> around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now the kid's doing
this
> hysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning.
>
> "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have
a
> sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed
> like this." Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then,
> pop!
> My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty,
and
> it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This kid
has
> her legs spread and with her little hands miming water flowing away. It
> was
> too much! "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe,
> breathe.'" "They started counting, but never even got past ten." "Then,
all
> of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they all
> said was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside
> there."
>
> Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
> I'm
> sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day,
I
> bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.
>
> Life is meant to be lived . . . enjoy.
>
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