----- Original Message -----
From: "Kathy Du Bois" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2004 4:56 PM
Subject: Re: Paul's frustration


> Chris,
> If this will help at all, and please believe me, I do mean this as a
> help, Paul does care about your situation and the other people involved.

O, don't worry about begging me to believe you.  That isn't necessary.  I
already do.


> It is just frustrating not to be able to help.  That is true for all of
> us.
Yeah, including myself.

i mean by that, I get so wrapped up in being very angry because I feel I
need to take more responsibility to take the thoughts into my own hands and
deal with not only them but myself more so accordingly.  if it means
whipping myself with a belt bare bottom, BTW:  I don't mean physically, by
that, I mean spiritually, I feel I have to...  OK, ignore that comment.  It
sounded stupider than I meant it to.  Point I'm making is that I forget:
now chris?  Stop it!  Who? is really! in control of this!  You?  No?
E-church?  No?  Mom?  no?  My? church?  no?  Then who!  God!  i think if i'd
give God more credit than I often do, i think i by now would! have made
progress.  Quite frankly...  I feel like these therapists have done more
than their shares.  i'm the only? one to blame.  God certainly isn't?  Did
God make me fly off the handle the other night?  No?  Did God make me leave
the list in the past?  No?  Did God send me friends who cared, loved, and
wanted so much more than anything else to just hold me in their arms, love
me, pray for me, and help me anyway possible?  Yes?  Did God put people in
my direct path to assist me with my OCD where needed, be it professionals or
not?  yes?  Did God open up the door for me to let him enter and take
control of everything allowing me to give him the control, put him number 1,
give him all i have, pray night and day, and lastly give me the full grace,
love and mercy that no one else could ever! give?  Again:  Yes!  A moment of
silence occurs before I continue typing.  Think about what I just said.
npraise the name? of God, jehovah? Yahwah!  that he is so! patient, and so
loving to all of us and that his love will never end for all eternity!


Chris.