Hey Pat,
Well maybe by telling your story someone else can benefit by hearing it.  We 
never why we talk about things sometimes.  I am glad you are doing okay and 
I am praying that you and Vernon have a great 2008.

Hugs,
Virgie and Lady Hoshi

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Pat Ferguson" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, January 06, 2008 5:35 PM
Subject: Re: Why Don't I see It?


> Dear Virgie,
>
> Well, I have forgiven Dad, and I don't even know why I brought it up, 
> because He is no longer with us, and maybe I'm feeling guilty, I don't 
> know. I have also asked God to forgive me, as well.
>
> This really isn't a problem in my heart and mind, I don't think it is, 
> anyway. <smile> I'm not depressed about it.
>
> Thanks for praying.
>
> Lovingly,
> Pat Ferguson
>
>
>
> At 02:12 PM 1/6/2008, you wrote:
>>Pat,
>>I am sorry this happened to you and it is only through help from our Lord 
>>that we are able to forgive such things.  I am glad you can forgive him 
>>and move on with your life.  The love of our Lord Jesus will get us 
>>through many difficult times.  Thank you for sharing with us, my prayers 
>>are with you.
>>
>>Huggs and many blessings to you,
>>Virgie and Lady Hoshi
>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Pat Ferguson" <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>Sent: Saturday, January 05, 2008 7:19 PM
>>Subject: Re: Why Don't I see It?
>>
>>
>>>Phil, That really hit home with me, as I had a similar situation with my 
>>>step father, when I was in my teens. I was living at home, at the time, 
>>>but when I left home, and I'm so glad I got to the point where I said 
>>>"no" to him, but he never gave up.
>>>
>>>I always hated it when he would come over to my apartment when I lived by 
>>>myself, and this was when I was in my twenties. He would want something 
>>>and well, he thought he could take me out to lunch, and I would give in 
>>>to him. That did not happen.
>>>
>>>He did ask for forgiveness many years later. I forgave him for those 
>>>things he did to me.
>>>
>>>Blessings,
>>>Pat Ferguson
>>>
>>>At 05:09 PM 1/4/2008, you wrote:
>>>>Blinded By A Doublebind
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>By Phil Scovell
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>      She had been just a little girl when her father began
>>>>molesting her.  Later, as a teenager, she would learn from her
>>>>mother that early in their marriage, sexual intercourse had ceased
>>>>to exist because she, the mother, no longer wanted that type of
>>>>intimacy from her husband.  The little girl, therefore, became
>>>>his unholy sexual outlet.  No, there are no excuses here.  Sin is
>>>>sin and evil is evil and crime is crime and this is all of that.
>>>>Today, such a molester would go to prison and the mother would go
>>>>free in spite of her sin but both will be judged as accountable
>>>>before the Judgment Seat of Christ some day regardless of
>>>>societal lack.
>>>>
>>>>      We were praying.  The vivid memory of a teenager came to mind
>>>>and she began to cry.  We prayed some more.  "I'm ashamed," she
>>>>admitted through her tears.
>>>>
>>>>      "I understand," I said quietly.  "It's ok."
>>>>
>>>>      She confessed the memory was of her mid teens.  She entered
>>>>her father's bedroom as he stood in front of a dresser and
>>>>prepared to go out.  A mirror on the back of the dresser reflected
>>>>their image.  "I'm so ashamed of what I did, Phil.  I don't think
>>>>I can tell you."  She was crying nearly uncontrollably now.
>>>>
>>>>      "You don't have to go there if you can't.  Just listen."  I
>>>>prayed more and asked for the Lord to show her the way.
>>>>
>>>>      "Oh, I am so ashamed," she repeated.  "I was trying to show
>>>>off.  I was trying to get my dad to notice me."
>>>>
>>>>      "Notice you how?" I encouraged; knowing the answer already
>>>>but also knowing this was where the Lord had led her.
>>>>
>>>>      "I wanted him to notice me sexually," and now her words,
>>>>through her crying, were almost unintelligible.  "It was all so
>>>>wrong," she cried.
>>>>
>>>>      I said softly, "You knew it was wrong when you were little,
>>>>too?"
>>>>
>>>>      "Yes," she wept and whimpered almost as a little girl.
>>>>
>>>>      "He even tried again years later when you were 13 but you ran
>>>>from him.  Right?" I asked.
>>>>
>>>>      "Yes, I did run away from him.  It was wrong and I knew it.
>>>>Then why did I try and show off this time to him?  I knew better."
>>>>
>>>>      "That's a good question," I said.  "Lord Jesus, what is the
>>>>answer to her question?  Why did she try and show off sexually to
>>>>get her father to notice her in her mid teens?"
>>>>
>>>>      As she cried quietly, she finally said,  as the spiritual
>>>>awareness bloomed in her spirit, "I was deceived."
>>>>
>>>>      "yes," I responded, "you were.  Furthermore, you were trapped
>>>>in a doublebind."
>>>>
>>>>      She asked what that might be.
>>>>
>>>>      "It is when the Enemy deceives us into believing a lie with
>>>>no way out, that is, we are trapped at either end."
>>>>
>>>>      "Then," she said, "how was I trapped in this situation as an
>>>>older teenager and my dad?  I knew by this time it was wrong and
>>>>even sinful."
>>>>
>>>>      "Of course you did.  When you were 4 and 5 years old," I
>>>>explained, your little mind wasn't mature enough to fully
>>>>understand all that was happening to you.  Besides, it was your
>>>>dad.  Your dad loved you so how could what he was doing be wrong?
>>>>That's what you thought anyway.  Yes, even this concept alone
>>>>conceived confusion in the little girl's mind.  Then, when the
>>>>little girl grew older, her power of reasoning matured and she
>>>>knew it was wrong and she ran away."
>>>>
>>>>      "But I still don't understand," she interrupted, "why I
>>>>tried to get him to notice me sexually as an older teenager?  It
>>>>was hideously wrong."
>>>>
>>>>      "What was the one word answer the Lord told you when I asked
>>>>Him to reveal the truth of that question to you?"
>>>>
>>>>      "He said I was deceived."
>>>>
>>>>      "Right," I agreed.  "The Enemy deceived you into thinking,
>>>>because of what happened repeatedly as a little girl who didn't
>>>>understand, it was now ok as a big girl because, after all, your
>>>>father loved you, and you loved your father.  It was a lie of the
>>>>Enemy as a little girl and it was still a lie as a big girl."
>>>>
>>>>      "I see it now," she almost whispered.  The devil lied to me
>>>>from the beginning.
>>>>
>>>>      The man said, "But why did I do it?"
>>>>
>>>>      He was referring to a teenage incident where he molested his
>>>>younger sister.  There had been no penetration, no skin-to-skin
>>>>contact, and no removal of clothing but regardless, it was sin and
>>>>he knew it.  The man had lived his entire life with the guilt and
>>>>trapped by it's heaviness for decades.
>>>>
>>>>      "I was a Christian at the time, too.  I knew better.  I knew
>>>>it was wrong.  I knew it was sin but I still did it.  Why?" he
>>>>pleaded.  Although the man was free of the sin, unless he found
>>>>the way of escape God had prepared for him, the guilt would return
>>>>and he knew it.
>>>>
>>>>      "Lord, why did he do it?" we prayed together.
>>>>
>>>>      The man suddenly sat very still as if something had just
>>>>entered the quietness of the room and he were listening.  Then he
>>>>sat up.  "I heard it.  I know the answer," he announced
>>>>confidently.  "This is it."
>>>>
>>>>      "What was that," he was asked.
>>>>
>>>>      "I did it because I was deceived."
>>>>
>>>>      "You are right," the intercessor answered.
>>>>
>>>>      "I'm free!  I'm totally free," the man proclaimed with
>>>>finality.  "It's gone for ever," and so it was.  The man now saw
>>>>God's truth and knew it wasn't what he really wanted to do; it was
>>>>what he had been deceived into doing.  That is, he was deceived
>>>>into committing sin which only a loving God could forgive who had
>>>>vicariously died in his place.
>>>>
>>>>      A woman was enjoying the afternoon.  The weather was
>>>>beautiful and she had enjoyed her walk.
>>>>
>>>>      "It's a beautiful tree, isn't it?" came the smooth pleasant
>>>>silky voice from the exquisitely beautiful shining creature.
>>>>
>>>>      She stopped and looked.  "Yes, as a matter of fact, it is
>>>>quite beautiful.  Everything God makes is beautiful," she
>>>>commented as she had so many hundreds of times over the years.
>>>>
>>>>      "Have you noticed the fruit?" the voice asked.  "It, too, is
>>>>quite beautiful.  It must be delicious."
>>>>
>>>>      The woman said nothing but watched.
>>>>
>>>>      "Why not try some of the fruit?  After all, you deserve it."
>>>>
>>>>      "Oh, no," she replied.  "We are forbidden.  In fact, if we
>>>>eat the fruit of this tree, we will die.  We aren't even suppose
>>>>to touch it."
>>>>
>>>>      "Oh, come on," the voice chuckled.  "Die?  that's a laugh.
>>>>You are eternal.  You can't die.  Besides, if you eat this fruit,
>>>>you'll be like me; like a god.  You'll know everything; good and
>>>>evil.  I know good from evil and I am eternal as are you."
>>>>
>>>>      The woman stepped closer.  The fruit was lovely in
>>>>appearance.  It certainly would be good tasting as beautiful as it
>>>>looked.  Somehow, it even appeared that to eat of such fruit would
>>>>increase her wisdom, too, so she gingerly pulled the fruit from a
>>>>branch and bit into its richness.
>>>>
>>>>      I'm certain this story is familiar, if you've read the Bible,
>>>>because this was what happened to Eve and eventually to her
>>>>husband, Adam.  Do you see the doublebind Satan used on Eve just
>>>>as He has on others?  If she didn't eat the fruit, she wouldn't be
>>>>as a god.  If she did, on the other hand, she would be as God;
>>>>wise and eternal and all knowing.  Who wouldn't want that?  Eve
>>>>was trapped by the words of the Evil One for such was his plan.
>>>>Deceived by the master Deceiver.
>>>>
>>>>      Are you trapped as well?  Has he also used a doublebind on
>>>>you as he has on so many others throughout time?  There is a way
>>>>of escape.  It is the Word of God expressed in His voice.  If you
>>>>cannot clearly hear His voice, you, too, will be locked in
>>>>deceitfulness for ever and carry the guilt of your own sin.
>>>>Jesus died to make His voice clear and to lift the guilt away.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>It Sounds Like God To Me.
>>>>www.SafePlaceFellowship.com
>