Pat,
I am sorry this happened to you and it is only through help from our Lord 
that we are able to forgive such things.  I am glad you can forgive him and 
move on with your life.  The love of our Lord Jesus will get us through many 
difficult times.  Thank you for sharing with us, my prayers are with you.

Huggs and many blessings to you,
Virgie and Lady Hoshi
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Pat Ferguson" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, January 05, 2008 7:19 PM
Subject: Re: Why Don't I see It?


> Phil, That really hit home with me, as I had a similar situation with my 
> step father, when I was in my teens. I was living at home, at the time, 
> but when I left home, and I'm so glad I got to the point where I said "no" 
> to him, but he never gave up.
>
> I always hated it when he would come over to my apartment when I lived by 
> myself, and this was when I was in my twenties. He would want something 
> and well, he thought he could take me out to lunch, and I would give in to 
> him. That did not happen.
>
> He did ask for forgiveness many years later. I forgave him for those 
> things he did to me.
>
> Blessings,
> Pat Ferguson
>
> At 05:09 PM 1/4/2008, you wrote:
>>Blinded By A Doublebind
>>
>>
>>By Phil Scovell
>>
>>
>>
>>      She had been just a little girl when her father began
>>molesting her.  Later, as a teenager, she would learn from her
>>mother that early in their marriage, sexual intercourse had ceased
>>to exist because she, the mother, no longer wanted that type of
>>intimacy from her husband.  The little girl, therefore, became
>>his unholy sexual outlet.  No, there are no excuses here.  Sin is
>>sin and evil is evil and crime is crime and this is all of that.
>>Today, such a molester would go to prison and the mother would go
>>free in spite of her sin but both will be judged as accountable
>>before the Judgment Seat of Christ some day regardless of
>>societal lack.
>>
>>      We were praying.  The vivid memory of a teenager came to mind
>>and she began to cry.  We prayed some more.  "I'm ashamed," she
>>admitted through her tears.
>>
>>      "I understand," I said quietly.  "It's ok."
>>
>>      She confessed the memory was of her mid teens.  She entered
>>her father's bedroom as he stood in front of a dresser and
>>prepared to go out.  A mirror on the back of the dresser reflected
>>their image.  "I'm so ashamed of what I did, Phil.  I don't think
>>I can tell you."  She was crying nearly uncontrollably now.
>>
>>      "You don't have to go there if you can't.  Just listen."  I
>>prayed more and asked for the Lord to show her the way.
>>
>>      "Oh, I am so ashamed," she repeated.  "I was trying to show
>>off.  I was trying to get my dad to notice me."
>>
>>      "Notice you how?" I encouraged; knowing the answer already
>>but also knowing this was where the Lord had led her.
>>
>>      "I wanted him to notice me sexually," and now her words,
>>through her crying, were almost unintelligible.  "It was all so
>>wrong," she cried.
>>
>>      I said softly, "You knew it was wrong when you were little,
>>too?"
>>
>>      "Yes," she wept and whimpered almost as a little girl.
>>
>>      "He even tried again years later when you were 13 but you ran
>>from him.  Right?" I asked.
>>
>>      "Yes, I did run away from him.  It was wrong and I knew it.
>>Then why did I try and show off this time to him?  I knew better."
>>
>>      "That's a good question," I said.  "Lord Jesus, what is the
>>answer to her question?  Why did she try and show off sexually to
>>get her father to notice her in her mid teens?"
>>
>>      As she cried quietly, she finally said,  as the spiritual
>>awareness bloomed in her spirit, "I was deceived."
>>
>>      "yes," I responded, "you were.  Furthermore, you were trapped
>>in a doublebind."
>>
>>      She asked what that might be.
>>
>>      "It is when the Enemy deceives us into believing a lie with
>>no way out, that is, we are trapped at either end."
>>
>>      "Then," she said, "how was I trapped in this situation as an
>>older teenager and my dad?  I knew by this time it was wrong and
>>even sinful."
>>
>>      "Of course you did.  When you were 4 and 5 years old," I
>>explained, your little mind wasn't mature enough to fully
>>understand all that was happening to you.  Besides, it was your
>>dad.  Your dad loved you so how could what he was doing be wrong?
>>That's what you thought anyway.  Yes, even this concept alone
>>conceived confusion in the little girl's mind.  Then, when the
>>little girl grew older, her power of reasoning matured and she
>>knew it was wrong and she ran away."
>>
>>      "But I still don't understand," she interrupted, "why I
>>tried to get him to notice me sexually as an older teenager?  It
>>was hideously wrong."
>>
>>      "What was the one word answer the Lord told you when I asked
>>Him to reveal the truth of that question to you?"
>>
>>      "He said I was deceived."
>>
>>      "Right," I agreed.  "The Enemy deceived you into thinking,
>>because of what happened repeatedly as a little girl who didn't
>>understand, it was now ok as a big girl because, after all, your
>>father loved you, and you loved your father.  It was a lie of the
>>Enemy as a little girl and it was still a lie as a big girl."
>>
>>      "I see it now," she almost whispered.  The devil lied to me
>>from the beginning.
>>
>>      The man said, "But why did I do it?"
>>
>>      He was referring to a teenage incident where he molested his
>>younger sister.  There had been no penetration, no skin-to-skin
>>contact, and no removal of clothing but regardless, it was sin and
>>he knew it.  The man had lived his entire life with the guilt and
>>trapped by it's heaviness for decades.
>>
>>      "I was a Christian at the time, too.  I knew better.  I knew
>>it was wrong.  I knew it was sin but I still did it.  Why?" he
>>pleaded.  Although the man was free of the sin, unless he found
>>the way of escape God had prepared for him, the guilt would return
>>and he knew it.
>>
>>      "Lord, why did he do it?" we prayed together.
>>
>>      The man suddenly sat very still as if something had just
>>entered the quietness of the room and he were listening.  Then he
>>sat up.  "I heard it.  I know the answer," he announced
>>confidently.  "This is it."
>>
>>      "What was that," he was asked.
>>
>>      "I did it because I was deceived."
>>
>>      "You are right," the intercessor answered.
>>
>>      "I'm free!  I'm totally free," the man proclaimed with
>>finality.  "It's gone for ever," and so it was.  The man now saw
>>God's truth and knew it wasn't what he really wanted to do; it was
>>what he had been deceived into doing.  That is, he was deceived
>>into committing sin which only a loving God could forgive who had
>>vicariously died in his place.
>>
>>      A woman was enjoying the afternoon.  The weather was
>>beautiful and she had enjoyed her walk.
>>
>>      "It's a beautiful tree, isn't it?" came the smooth pleasant
>>silky voice from the exquisitely beautiful shining creature.
>>
>>      She stopped and looked.  "Yes, as a matter of fact, it is
>>quite beautiful.  Everything God makes is beautiful," she
>>commented as she had so many hundreds of times over the years.
>>
>>      "Have you noticed the fruit?" the voice asked.  "It, too, is
>>quite beautiful.  It must be delicious."
>>
>>      The woman said nothing but watched.
>>
>>      "Why not try some of the fruit?  After all, you deserve it."
>>
>>      "Oh, no," she replied.  "We are forbidden.  In fact, if we
>>eat the fruit of this tree, we will die.  We aren't even suppose
>>to touch it."
>>
>>      "Oh, come on," the voice chuckled.  "Die?  that's a laugh.
>>You are eternal.  You can't die.  Besides, if you eat this fruit,
>>you'll be like me; like a god.  You'll know everything; good and
>>evil.  I know good from evil and I am eternal as are you."
>>
>>      The woman stepped closer.  The fruit was lovely in
>>appearance.  It certainly would be good tasting as beautiful as it
>>looked.  Somehow, it even appeared that to eat of such fruit would
>>increase her wisdom, too, so she gingerly pulled the fruit from a
>>branch and bit into its richness.
>>
>>      I'm certain this story is familiar, if you've read the Bible,
>>because this was what happened to Eve and eventually to her
>>husband, Adam.  Do you see the doublebind Satan used on Eve just
>>as He has on others?  If she didn't eat the fruit, she wouldn't be
>>as a god.  If she did, on the other hand, she would be as God;
>>wise and eternal and all knowing.  Who wouldn't want that?  Eve
>>was trapped by the words of the Evil One for such was his plan.
>>Deceived by the master Deceiver.
>>
>>      Are you trapped as well?  Has he also used a doublebind on
>>you as he has on so many others throughout time?  There is a way
>>of escape.  It is the Word of God expressed in His voice.  If you
>>cannot clearly hear His voice, you, too, will be locked in
>>deceitfulness for ever and carry the guilt of your own sin.
>>Jesus died to make His voice clear and to lift the guilt away.
>>
>>
>>It Sounds Like God To Me.
>>www.SafePlaceFellowship.com
>