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Date: | Tue, 7 Aug 2007 10:23:21 -0500 |
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TRYING TO CONTROL OTHERS
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own
understanding (Proverbs 3:5).
When a person's self-worth or success hinges on the achievement of a
goal which can be blocked or which is uncertain or impossible, how
will he respond to those who frustrate his goals? Often he will
attempt to control or manipulate the people or circumstances who
stand between him and his success.
For example, a pastor's goal is to have the finest youth ministry in
the community. But one of his board members blocks his goal by
insisting that a music ministry is more important. Every attempt by
the pastor to hire a youth pastor is vetoed by the influential board
member who wants to hire a music director first. The pastor wrongly
perceives that his sense of worth and success in ministry is on the
line. So he shifts into a power mode to push the stumbling block out
of the way. He looks for a way to change the opposition's mind or
remove him from the board because he believes that his success in
ministry is dependent on reaching his goal of a great youth ministry.
A mother believes that her self-worth is dependent on her children
behaving in a certain way. Her goal is to raise perfect
little Christians who will become pastors or missionaries. But as
the children reach their teen years and begin to express
their independence, their behavior doesn't always match their
mother's ideal. So instead of helping them grow through adolescence
and releasing them into adulthood, she tries to control them.
It is not hard to understand why people try to control others. They
believe that their worth is dependent on other people and
circumstances. This is a false belief as evidenced by the fact that
the most insecure people you will ever meet are manipulators
and controllers of others. But people who are secure in their
identity in Christ don't need to control others. Their goal is to be
the leader, spouse, parent or employee that God wants them to be
because nothing can keep them from being what God wants them to be
but themselves.
Lord, I affirm that my worth is based on my relationship with You and
that I am free to become the person You want me to be.
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