Hi Kim,
The Holy Spirit is telling me to write to you now.
I used to make tapes dramatizing, and what I've discovered is that
when you dramatize, your mind is open and your real self is exposed,
and more possible to attack by the Enemy.
What I would do, if I were you, is to stop dramatizing until you get
a better hold on what's going on with you. Quite often, when we are
dramatizing, we leave ourselves open to all kinds of influences.
I used to have the same kinds of things happen to me, but they were
different in that they were simply flashes of fear, paralyzing fear.
Since I was saved, I have had two experiences with dramatizing, but
since singleness of mind, apparently, the need for dramatizing has
gone. I think it is more necessary for God and you to get some real
healing done, and then your need for dramatizing will be gone! You
see, dramatizing is a need to cover up the terible wounds you have
suffered. I dramatized all my life, and even got friends to do it
with me, while all the time, my helpers were guiding me through
horrible sexual abuse that I couldn't face.
I am in no way condemning you, I am simply trying to share what I've
found. What have I found? I have found time that I would've lost
dramatizing. I have found tranquility to enjoy the simple things that
God has placed in my life.
By the way, I have taken many steps backward in order to find the
place where I currently live. God Himself brought me there, and so
here I will stay.
I love you, Kim, and can relate to you on a very deep level. I
would've never had the guts to talk about my dramatizing on a list
because I would've been afraid of ridicule.
I tried to dramatize last night, but found that it was more fun to
talk with Jesus, whom I call Daddy Jesus. My dramatizing days are
definitely over. This is one drug that I have been definitely
delivered from. I Praise God with hands in the air! I give Him my
Love, my Devotion, my Life.
I suspect you'll want to write back to me and discuss this further,
but I will be going into the hospital today and getting out Friday. I
usually need a day of decompression, but Reeva knows something about
the destructive influence that dramatizing had, because I tried to
drag her into it, too. She can tell you about her side of the coin.
In conclusion, please remember that I am not ridiculing you in any
shape for form. I simply know from my own experience that dramatizing
is a way, one of the more creative ways, that we use to mask our deep
brokenness and woundedness. Remember also that I love you, that Daddy
Jesus died for you, and He is waiting to help you heal when you are ready.
IN HIS MATCHLESS NAME,
Mari, the Purple One, writing from Reeva's computer cuz mine's down.
Legend has it that on Friday 10/5/2007 11:30 AM, Kim Etheridge said:
>Oh, boy. Here we go again. You won't believe what happened this
>morning. It was worse than what happened that day in the bathtub. My
>evil giant came back. In other words, I was in my room, trying to
>make a drama tape, unaware that Ronda was asleep in the other room,
>since Shirley told me Ronda was going to look at some yard sales.
>Anyway, I'm in there, and all of a sudden, I get this feeling that
>someone incredibly huge is standing by my bed. I reached over, but
>didn't feel anyone or anything. Oh, it just scared me to death.
>Anyway, I knew I'd better do something quick, so I ran to my TV and
>turned on TBN for awhile. I finally felt better, although I drifted
>off during Breakthrough. If you've never heard of Breakthrough, it's
>one of TBN's programs. It's Pastor Rod Parsley, I believe, or I may
>have gotten his name wrong. Anyway, before Breakthrough came on, I
>was listening to this guy talking about the rose red city of Petra.
>Do you remember that verse in Revelation that talks about a woman
>who is with child, and the dragon's trying to snatch away her child?
>The dragon is antichrist. Anyway, the verse says he tries to trap
>the woman with a flood, but the earth helps the woman. The flood is
>antichrist's army. When they start chasing God's elect, or the
>tribulation saints, the earth swallows them. Anyway, though, do pray
>that I'll never have an attack like that again. I don't believe it
>was just a panic attack. I could have sworn the room was going to
>cave in and swallow me. I believe it was a demon attack. A pastor
>friend of mine says it's a lying spirit. Before turning on TBN, I
>just tried praying, and saying things like, "Get away from me, in
>the matchless name of Jesus!", or, "Lying spirit, get out, in Jesus
>name!" Anyway, I didn't feel better till after I listened to TBN for
>awhile. It just goes to show that neither Satan nor his demons like
>to hear the Word preached. I knew I'd be all right, eventually. When
>I was praying and telling the lying spirit to leave me alone, I
>could have sworn I heard a still, small voice say, "Kim, listen to
>TBN." Anyway, I'm okay, now. However, do pray for me, please. I
>don't want it to happen again. I had a small feeling that it was a
>faith test, but I can't be sure. I can't be sure, though. God can
>even use things like this for the good in the end. Maybe He wanted
>me to learn something on TBN, or Satan was just trying to see how
>far he could push me. Anyway, though, sorry, if I'm being too long winded.
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