*sigh* here we go again, every time I see one of these alerts or hears/read
of someone else who is arrested, detained, deared dead, or some other such
thing, I always get this awful sinking feeling, and I ownder when it will
all end, and I feel powerless to stop it or do anything. Except speak out,
and to my mind, speaking out seems less and less effective, especially when
change, at least on the Gambian government's side, is not going to happen,
it seems.
And of course let's not forget Fatou Jaw Manneh, I beleive it was Chris
Sukuna who asked why more women didn't speak out. I really can't answer
that question. In a perfect world, everyone would speak up against
something like this. But perhaps why more women won't speak up is probably
the same reason why many men aren't speaking up (how many people have you
seen say anything except the same vocal few who don't seem afraid to speak
up?) Perhaps because they want to go back to The Gambia, because they're
afraid they don't want to be next. Perhaps it's culture (yes, I was given
this answer myself, when I asked a similar question as to why more Gambian
women don't seem to be as involved in working to bring about change in The
Gambia, that and the "Gambian women are involved you just don't see it"
answer).
Farbeit for me to give any answer on that. However my silence on things
like this is due mostly to fatigue and just being plain old tired of the
drama that can come from "standing up and speaking out". Funny how some of
the same people who beg for others to "come forward and speak out", are the
first ones to try to shut you down once you open your mouth. Perhaps the
reason why many don't speak out is not so much because of Yahya Jammeh and
people supportive and aphiliated with him, but also the way that many who
oppose him treat those who don't hold the same opinions as they do, either
regarding Jammeh or the way forward for The Gambia now and once Jammeh is
gone.
Personally, I'm tired of all of the drama and am sorry I even spoke out in
the first place. Because not only was it most likely not helpful to The
gambian people, themselves, it sure didn't get me anywhere.
Perhaps as a non-Gambian Chris has been given permission to "chat about
Gambian issues", but that permission seems to have been revoked for me,
which also partly explains my silence.
However, as they say, it ain't about me! Perhaps others are speaking out,
but they are not choosing to use the Gambia Post, the Gambia-l, or any other
online medium to do so. Perhaps they are speaking out and doing what little
they can to and with friends, family, their colleagues, their acquaintances,
whoever they can reach. Just because it ain't happening here on the G-Post
or somewhere else online, don't mean it ain't happening. Perhaps people are
speaking out at picnics, meetings, religious gatherings, work, school, etc.
Perhaps a lot is being done behind-the-scenes and off-line, it's just not
happening right in front of everyone where we can all see it.
Just some thoughts. But personally, I've become disillusionsd with
"speaking out", becuase to me, it's not all that it's cracked up to be.
Sure, it feels good and you feel like you're doing something when you're
talking or your'e typing those words out or writing them down, however, the
figurative crack inthe head by others who don't like what you have to say,
the making of your words into irrelevancy by people who would say "oh you're
non-Gambian, you're not allowed to say anything, well, of course unless you
agree with us of course", the accusations of mental instability, drug use,
that you are actually notposting as you but as someone else, the hatemail
threatening to find out hwere you live and harm you, etc., is just not worth
it for me! Thank you very much.
If I thought speaking out would free everybody illegally detained, console
the family memebers who have lost loved ones under this regime, would even
do something to try to make a peaceful, nonviolent change in The Gambia, I'd
be yelling and screaming as loud as I could, but you know what. I've found
that there is really nothing I can do. I have tried the best that I can,
given my limited resources, abilities and understanding of the situation,
but you know what, I've had the door slammed in my face, and have been told
that I'm no longer welcome. So perhaps Chris and ohters will get the
answers they are looking for. Perhaps their approach is not as off-putting
as mine was, perhaps they are better about these sorts of things than I am.
Because clearly I'm not.
So perhaps people do care and people want to speak up, but perhaps they
don't want to be accused of come from an illigitimate birth, or perhaps they
don't want to have themor their family/parents called hoes, etc., simply
becuase the other person doesn't agree with them. Perhaps they don't want
to be accused of being drug addicts and other things, even by people that
are claiming to be on the same side as them. Isn't that funny? The same
people who say we should all do the right hting and speak out, some of the
same people who claim to want Jammeh gone, will completely try to cut down
others who say they want the same thing, simply because they don't agree
with them! I don't know aobut you, but in a climate like that, who would
want to say anything!? Better to save their comments and feelings for blogs
and gatherings, among friends and family, among people who they know will
give them honest advice, instead of come online and risk having themselves
belittled and all sorts of mental abuse heaped on them. Even if you've got
the thick skin of a tortoise shell, it's just not worth all of that!
And I sure wish I'd have known all of this a year or so ago, or at least, I
wish I'd not been so stubborn and listened to more wiser, cool-headed,
people.
Anyway, just to end this, just because I don't post every time an article or
message is posted about someone else bieng detained, about Jammeh's next big
scheme, his next "public holiday", his next "big thing", the next "press
alert", the next human rights violation, etc., etc., it most certainly
doesn't mean I don't care! It doesn't mean that I don't have an opinion on
it, it doesn't mean that I may not *want* to say something. But just like
Jammeh's Gambia, I've become careful, perhaps, fearful of what I say on
here! I find myself treading carefully, I find myself wondering what
someone is going to say and hwere the "next attack" is going to come from,
and funny since the motto of this list is "let thoughts fly forth".
But every time Iv'e started to write something, I think, "is a non-Gambian
allowed to comment about htis?" "Is a white person allowed to talk about
this?" And if it's soemthing like Paris Hilton, Iraq, terrorism, Islam,
Akon, music, etc., I think, "yes it's OK". But if it's soemthing even
remotely bordering on Gambian politics, culture, etc., I find myself
figureatively putting a hand over my mouth and hitting the delete button and
sending whatever I wrote to the dust bin. Not just because of "fear", but
because I don't just want to send a message and then not look at the rest of
the postings in response to it, because of what they will most certainly
contain. Or, as of late, there won't be much of a response at all! When
what I really actually wanted was a good discussion darn it? Something like
"hey I don't agree with you, but I udnerstand your point, this is how I
feel", or "yeah, I agree wit you, but here is something else you maybe
didn't think of", as just a few examples. not "what's wrong with you, you
metal unstable person you, and what's wrong with you, and oh by the way,
your mama was a hoe and so are you", etc., you think mature and busy people
want to come on here and have a discussion like that!?
And some of the same people who sit and wonder "why don't more people speak
up", who want to wax on and on about "what's wrong with Gambians", turn
right around and perhaps answer some of their own questions by stiffling
others who don't whold the same opinions as they do?
If the Gambia-Post is a figurative representation of what The Gambia should
be, is this the kind of Gambia we want, where only certain people are
allowed to speak, and those who don't agree with them are silenced and
stifled, not so much by delisted but by being shouted down and otherwise
"humiliated" into silence. And if this place is not reprsentative of what
we say we want in The gambia,shouldn't it be? A place where everyone,
Gambian or not, can come and speak their mind, no matter how many people
agree with them?
I mean, what are we fighting for in The Gambia anyway. A place where the
rule of law prevails and everyone is free to speak their mind and contribute
to the building of a better Gambia, or a plce where only a selected few are
allowed to have a voice.
That is what I want to know, and I'll leave it to others to sort this out.
In the meantime, my thoughts and prayers are with Fatou Jaw Manneh and her
friends and family, as well as with everyone else affected by this regime!
Ginny
Visit my blog at: http://www.ginnysthoughts.com/
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