Well, as you invited bluntness, I shall be the first to be extremely blunt 
and direct.   I have known you Doris from other lists.  I will say exactly 
what I think.  I have always liked you.  I find you to be an extremely 
loving and to be a caring person who will often takes time to look beyond 
the superficial to see the individual beneath the surface which is not often 
seen by others.  I know this personally.  I think you are a very rare 
individual, and wish there were more like you.  If there were this world 
would be a far better one in which to live.  I am glad to be counted a 
friend.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Chipmunks" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2007 9:37 AM
Subject: Re: Questions To Ponder


> I'm not sure I follow these questions. I am somewhat afraid of people 
> seeing me close up and not liking what they see. I do not open up and 
> trust easily. but once people do get to know me, they get to know me. I am 
> me and Oon't really know how to be someone else and  don't really want to 
> learn that either.
>
> this may in part be a cultural thing. Germans on the whole are pretty 
> direct if not to say blunt sometimes and some of my American friends who 
> have lived in this country sometimes consider Germans pretty rude.
>
>
> Some people when they get to know me and see the all of me will pull away. 
> That can be painfuland I know the pain of rejection and fear it but I 
> rather have fewer genuine relationships than many shallow ones.
>
> when I get closer to someone, make friends, i try to ask for directness, 
> bluntness. I especially find this important in an intercultural setting 
> where the obvious to one party might not at all be the aame to the other. 
> So I might as well take the opportunity to extend this request to you guys 
> on this list that you give me "blunt" if there is a need for it. <g> I 
> find that the relationships where there is directness work the best for 
> me.
>
> When I get close to someone, I do fear the other seeing too much, fear the 
> pain of rejection and that sometimes causes a lot of inner turmoil to me 
> as I lack self-confidence a lot and am used to secondguessing myself a 
> lot. this is where my lessons in "simple!" come in. And I sometimes find 
> that "simple!" is the hardest for me to learn.
>
> While I struggle with the fear to be seen too much of a lot, at the same 
> time, I long for "come and see" in my close relationships and try to keep 
> my shields down. I used to be very different, used to be walled in a whole 
> lot more and sometimes I wonder if that is not the better choice. Probably 
> it's a matter of balance and I'm not always very good at finding that 
> balance.
>
> I find that what i feel about and how I handle my human relationships also 
> affects my relationship with God. I am still very much trying to learn to 
> trust God completely and sometimes feel scared of him or think he might 
> not want to hear me or talk to me. I marvel at the God of the Universe 
> caring so much to not only put up with me, but liking me, loving me, being 
> excited about me. <g> Itr is incredible to me that Jesus loved me enough 
> to die for me so that i could live, would have the chance to be right with 
> God and relate to the Creator of the Universe on a very intimate level.
>
> Of course it is silly to try and hide from the god who created me, knew me 
> from the beginning of time and yet I find that I sometimes want to do 
> that. It's been Mr God's work over the recent months to try and teach me 
> differently, teach me "simple!" and affirm the "come and see" of which 
> there is no way out with him anyway. I sure am grateful for that. Getting 
> to know Mr.God close up is the bestest thing ever! And i am so thankful 
> for him caring about me, accepting me, loving me,providing for me and also 
> for the family in Christ he has given me.
>
> And I can't help but be me. If anything, since getting to know God more up 
> close, I've been more "me" than ever before. It amakes me more aware of my 
> shortcomings and faults and finity and I am more than ever aware that I 
> have no chance without God's grace and mercy and without Jesus but that is 
> just the wonder of that. And i am learning that this applies to people 
> too. I'm learning about love, the unconditional kind that I had  a bit of 
> a shortage of sometimes  - both with Mr.God and with people.
>
> the potential Mr God sees in me often feels many sizes too big but yet he 
> seems to think I'll fit that eventualy and that gives me hope and as I 
> grow in the lord, i hope that I'll be more like him and hope I'll shine 
> that back on people. I so much long to be of service and have people see 
> Mr.God in me just as I have seen and see mr.god in the people Mr.God puts 
> in my life.And with Mr.God, it's got to be genuine and straight because 
> he's in the middle and knows and I can only reflect God when I reflect 
> from my middle out and don't put on filters.
>
> I think I rambled enough and I hope this is not too crude or personal but 
> the question kind of touched me. I do hope that I am genuine enough to let 
> Mr.God shine out from me unfiltered and unshielded.
>
> God Bless,
>
> Doris
>
>
> At 06:40 AM 5/30/2007 -0600, you wrote:
>
>>Who would you be if you were yourself?  What if people saw you for whom 
>>you
>>really are?  Who would you be then?
>>
>>Phil.
>>
>>
>>
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>>11:40 AM
>
>
> -- 
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