Professionals who have studied grief, report that it takes 18 months to a
couple of years to get to the place one is able to cope with the loss of a
loved one.  I went through this with George, until his wife refused he call
me any longer, but I went through it myself.  I carried the grief for way
more than two years and, in fact, the grief itself really came out 40 years
later.  There are grief ministries now, George and his wife went through one
at a church they began attending, and things like that help.  Grief
counselors generally help, too.  In my opinion, which isn't worth much, if
you find a person who is always saying they passed on, or they passed away,
you will be talking with a person who is either still experiencing the
grief, which is normally buried pretty deep, or a person who is afraid of
death itself for some reason.  The Enemy goes into high gear on this one and
attempts to create all types of excuses.  When my mom recently died, well,
it was, what?  Four years ago?  Anyhow, I went for several weeks with the
thought that I should have done more, that is, been more involved.  You
don't know my three sisters.  they run everything and I just go along for
the ride, if, that is, I am invited at all, but that's another story.  Our
first basset hound died shortly after my mother's death.  So what, you say,
that's just a dog.  Put that thought aside for the moment then if you can't
identify with it.  When we had to put our hound to sleep due to a large
cancerous growth in his throat, see?  We even call it putting the animal to
sleep instead of saying, well, you know.  Anyhow, the Holy Spirit used this
experience to cause grief to surface about my mother.  I have written a
testimony about it that's on my website that explains what I was feeling and
the lie it generated in me.  I never would have understood it if the Lord
had not revealed it to me.  There are ways of shortening the period of
grief.  this does not imply that your feelings for that loved one goes away.
I'm 55 years old and I still cry once and awhile about my dad who died 44
years ago.  Why?  Aren't I over it?  I miss him is the true answer.  Missing
someone you love is different than grief.  Grief, left to itself and to the
beguilement and deception of the Enemy will destroy your life.  No, that
doesn't mean you'll physically die but it means you will stop living.  Do
not be deceived in to believing that the Enemy will not bother you about
something as mundane as a loved one dying.  He will eat your lunch for a lot
less of a reason than that.

Phil.