I know Thanksgiving is past but this is still good.  Get out the 
tissues to wipe your eyes, not from crying but from laughing.

Text of forwarded message follows:

>JASPER.......
>
>We have a Fox Terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the 
>summer of 2001 from the Fox Terrier rescue program. For those of you 
>who are unfamiliar with this type of adoption, imagine taking in a 
>10 year old child whom you know nothing about and committing to 
>doing your best to be a good parent.
>
>
>Like a child, the dog came with his own idiosyncrasies. He will only 
>sleep on the bed, on top of the covers, nuzzled as close to my face 
>as he can get without actually performing a French kiss on me. Lest 
>you think this is a bad case of 'no discipline,' I should tell you 
>that Perry and I tried every means to break him of this habit 
>including locking him in a separate bedroom for several nights. The 
>new door cost over $200. But I digress.
>
>
>Five weeks ago we began remodeling our house. Although the cost of 
>the project is downright obnoxious, it was 20 years overdue AND it 
>got me out of cooking Thanksgiving for family, extended family and a 
>lot of friends that I like more than family most of the time. I was, 
>however, assigned the task of preparing 124 of my famous yeast 
>dinner rolls for the two Thanksgiving feasts we did attend. (I am 
>still cursing the electrician for getting the new oven hooked up so 
>quickly. It was the only appliance in the whole darn house that 
>worked, thus the assignment.)
>
>
>I made the decision to cook the rolls on Wednesday evening to reheat 
>on Thursday morning. Since the kitchen was freshly painted you can 
>imagine the odor. Not wanting the rolls to smell like Sherwin 
>Williams latex paint #586, I put the rolls on baking sheets and set 
>them in the living room to rise for 5 hours. After 3 hours, Perry 
>and I decided to go out to eat, returning in about an hour.
>
>
>An hour later the rolls were ready to go in the oven. It was 8:30 
>pm. When I went to the living room to retrieve the pans, much to my 
>shock one whole pan of 12 rolls was empty. I called out to Jasper, 
>and my worst night-mare became a reality. He literally wobbled over 
>to me.  He looked like a combination of the Pillsbury dough boy and 
>the Michelin Tire man wrapped up in fur.  He groaned when he walked, 
>even his cheeks were bloated.
>
>
>I ran to the phone and called our vet's emergency number. After a 
>few seconds of uproarious laughter, he told me the dog would 
>probably be OK, however, I needed to give him Pepto-Bismol every 2 
>hours for the rest of the night. God only knows why I thought a dog 
>would like Pepto-Bismol any more than my kids did when they were 
>sick. Suffice to say that by the time we went to bed the dog was 
>black, white and pink. He was so bloated we had to lift him onto the 
>bed for the night.
>
>
>Naively thinking the dog would be all better by morning was very 
>stupid on my part. We arose at 7:30, and as we always do first thing 
>we put the dog out to relieve himself. Well, the darn dog was as 
>drunk as a sailor on his first leave. He as running into walls, 
>falling flat. Most of the time when he was walking, his front half 
>was going one direction and the other half was either dragging the 
>grass or headed 90 degrees in another direction. He couldn't lift 
>his leg to pee, so he would just walk and pee at the same time. When 
>he ran down the small incline in our back yard he couldn't stop 
>himself and nearly ended up running into the fence. His pupils were 
>dilated and he was as dizzy as a loon.
>
>
>I endured another few seconds of laughter from the vet (second call 
>within 12 hours) before he explained that the yeast had fermented in 
>his belly and that he was indeed drunk. He assured me that, not 
>unlike most binges we humans go through, it would wear off after few 
>hours and to keep giving him Pepto-Bismol.
>
>
>Afraid to leave him by himself in the house, Perry and I loaded him 
>up and took him with us to my sister's house for the first 
>Thanksgiving meal of the day. My sister lives outside of Muskogee on 
>a ranch (a 10 to 15 minute drive). The rolls firmly secured in the 
>trunk (124 less 12) and the drunk dog leaning from the back seat 
>onto the console of the car between Perry and I, we took off.
>
>
>Now I know you probably don't believe that dogs burp, but believe me 
>when I say that after eating a tray of risen unbaked yeast rolls, 
>DOGS WILL BURP! These burps were pure Old Charter. They would have 
>matched or beat any smell in a drunk tank at the police station. But 
>that's not the worst of it. Now he was beginning to fart... and they 
>smelled like baked rolls. May I be stuck dead if I am not telling 
>the truth! We endured this for the entire trip to Karee's, thankful 
>she didn't live any further away than she did.
>
>
>Once Jasper was firmly placed in my sister's garage with the door 
>locked, we finally sat down to enjoy our first Thanksgiving meal of 
>the day. The dog was the topic of conversation all morning long and 
>everyone made trips to the garage to witness my drunk dog, each 
>returning with a tale of Jasper's latest endeavor to walk without 
>running into something. Of course, as the old adage goes, "what goes 
>in must come out" and Jasper was no exception. Granted if it had 
>been me that had eaten 12 risen, unbaked yeast rolls, I might as 
>well have swallowed concrete.  But, alas a dog's digestive system is 
>quite different from yours or mine. I discovered this was a mixed 
>blessing when we prepared to leave Karee's house.  Having discovered 
>his "packages" on the garage floor, we loaded him up in the car so 
>we could hose down the floor. This was another naive decision on our part.
>
>
>The blast of water from the hose hit the poop on the floor and it 
>withstood the blast from the hose. It was like Portland cement 
>beginning to set up and cure. We finally tried to remove it with a 
>shovel. I (obviously no one else was going to offer their services) 
>had to get on my hands and knees with a coarse brush to get the 
>remnants off of the floor. And as if this wasn't degrading enough, 
>the darn dog in his drunken state had walked through the poop and 
>left paw prints all over the garage floor that had to be brushed too!
>
>
>Well, by this time the dog was sobering up nicely so we took him 
>home and dropped him off before we left for our second Thanksgiving 
>dinner at Perry's sister's house.  I am happy to report that as of 
>today (Monday) the dog is back to normal both in size and 
>temperament.  He has had a bath and is no longer tri-color.  None 
>the worse for wear I presume.
>
>
>I am also happy to report that just this evening I found two risen 
>unbaked yeast rolls hidden inside my closet door.  It appears he 
>must have come to his senses after eating 10 of them, decided hiding 
>two of them for later would not be a bad idea.  Now, I'm doing 
>research on the computer as to "How to clean unbaked dough from carpeting."
>
>
>And how was your Thanksgiving?
>
>No virus found in this incoming message.
>Checked by AVG Free Edition.
>Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.4/644 - Release Date: 
>1/22/2007 7:30 AM
End of forwarded message text:

John


-- 
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.4/644 - Release Date: 1/22/2007 7:30 AM