Kathy, this is truly beautiful. I'm glad that things went so well for
you.
April's Dave in Ohio
----- Original Message -----
From: "Kathy Du Bois" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, January 19, 2007 10:04 AM
Subject: the honor shown my Dad
Hi Guys,
I wanted to write more yesterday and share with you all the
happenings surrounding my Dad's funeral, but I came home with some
kind of a bug and so I had to keep my message short and to the
point. It is no fun flying when you don't feel well. Liz and I both
just stayed in bed, for the most part and recovered. I just wanted
to let you know yesterday that I was home and safe.
Anyway, the events surrounding Dad's funeral were just amazing! I
just have to share them with you. God was so with all of us. First
of all, when the pastor came over on Sunday, to plan out the funeral
service we all had a great time swapping memories of Dad and what a
character he truley was.
Then, and I have no idea how the next part of this story will fly
with some of you, but I'll tell it anyway, because it was healing for
me, I began praying about having the courage to touch my Dad in order
to say goodbye. I felt as though the Lord was telling me that this
would be an important part of the healing process for me because I
wasn't able to say goodbye to him while he was still alive. Finally
I prayed that, if the Lord felt that this was important for me, that
he would arrange it so that I could do it alone, since I had no idea
how I would react. I didn't even tell Greg about this because I
thought that I was being so bizarre.
Anyway, our family was scheduled to have a private viewing at 11:00
am. on Monday morning, which ended up being a very nice thing, but
anyway, Greg and I got going earlier than expected and showed up
arount 10:00 am. instead. We knew the funeral dirrector pretty well
because we used to attend church together when Greg and I lived in
the area. The funeral director came out to the parking lot to
express his condolences to me personally and then he said, "Kathy,
would you like to spend some time alone with your father ahead of
time?" I couldn't believe it, but there was God preparing a private
place for me in the midst of everything, so I went in with the
director and spent some time alone with my Dad. I just kept stroking
his arm and holding his hand. I couldn't believe how easy it was
once I got past my own fears. What I hadn't expected was how I
opened the door for others in my family, especially my Mom, to reach
out and touch Dad to say goodbye after me.
The rest of the family gathered and we hugged and cried, but
rejoiced that Dad is at peace now. At around 4:00 pm. we had a
public wake and, O My Goodness, I couldn't believe how many people
showed up to say goodbye. The wake lasted three hours. Our family
formed a reception line and I honestly didn't believe that there
would be enough time for everybody to make it through. It was
incredible how many lives this simple man touched. Our family had a
kind of joke about it though. You see, my Dad hated crowds. He
always just wanted to get in and get out and get whatever he was
supposed to do over with. We were joking that this was probably the
only way that Dad could have handled this situation, especially as
the center of attention. GRIN! I'll bet that there were between 2 &
300 people, easy.
Anyway, then, there was a military funeral. Wow, was that
powerful. All the V.F.W. posts in the Stephenson area
participated. It is a very moving service. First, they all filed
past my Dad and gave him a sollute. then, they read about his
military history and his obituary. When they prayed, they would
remove their caps and put them back on when the prayer was
done. Then, they began folding the flag and as they did so, the
chaplain explained what each fold of the flag meant. It was really
powerful. I was amazed at how much of the service, including each
fold of the flag, points to honoring God first, above all
else. Then, of course, they presented the flag to my Mom, then Taps
was played on a trumpet and then, the men retreated.
After that, they held, what is called a prayer service. The pastor
preached a sermon at this and there was a time of prayer and then
Greg and I sang the old Swedish hymn, "Day by Day."
After most of the people had left, Mom wanted to go up to the casket
one more time and I offered to go with her. She and I walked up and
this time, she felt comfortable taking his arm and saying, "good
night dear." It was very hard to keep from crying as she did this
because I knew that this was what she had said to him every night,
but this time, it was so final. We prayed together prayers of thanks
for Dad and for the life he provided for us, with God's help.
The next Day, was the church funeral. I and two of my brothers
participated in that. I sang a simple song that Dad had asked me to
sing when he died. The thing is, he had asked me to do this over 32
years ago. I also sang "Because He Lives," and we got the whole
church rockin' on the chorus. then, the cemetary is right behind the
church so we moved out to there, but the cool thing was that the
pianist began playing, "How Great Thou Art," and I started singing it
and everybody joined in, so we walked out to the cemetary, in 12
degree weather singing. Awesome, eh? Seven of Dad's Grandsons were
the paul barers. Matt would have made eight, but he didn't want to do it.
At the committal service, I sang, "Thy Holy Wings Dear Savior." The
chill added extra vibrato to my voice, but I was determined to at
least give this gift, since I had not been able to sing to him one
more time before he left this earth.
It was just a powerful few days for me. Thank you for letting me
share. My mom is being amazing so far. I think that all of us kids
are so worried about her. We're constantly calling her to make sure
that she's okay and those who are close keep dropping in. She has
just been so strong through all of this.
I'll just share two more things, and then, I'll close. Our church
out here in Glenburn, on their own, sent flowers to my family. That
is incredible to me, that they would reach out beyond their circle to
show such honor to my Dad. I can't tell you how good that made Greg
and I feel.
Secondly, there is a Steve Green song called, "Find Us
Faithful." Some of the words in that song are, "After all our hopes
and dreams have come and gone and our children sift through all we've
left behind, may the clues that they discover and the memories they
uncover become the light that leads them to the road we each must
find." Well, when my Mom was going through my Dad's wallet on
Saturday, she found a little cross in it that says, "Jesus
Saves." She has no idea how long he had carried it or where he
picked it up, but this little cross was placed in Dad's hands for the
viewing and the burial. He had always had it with him and he still
does, but for a short time, everyone was able to see the testimony
that my Dad lived in deeds.
God bless,
Kathy
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