Neither could I.  I didn't read it all.  Sorry, Dave.  Lol!!!!
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jenifer Gilley" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, December 07, 2006 5:09 PM
Subject: Re: 'twas the night before Christmas


> lord dave!  I can't even get past the first sentence!  LOL!
> Jenifer gilley check out my blog
> http://claudastar.blogspot.com/
> AIM: jenibear1998
> msn [log in to unmask]
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "David Stahl" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Thursday, December 07, 2006 2:31 PM
> Subject: 'twas the night before Christmas
>
>
>> 'Twas the Night Before Christmas
>>
>> - Written by the Government.
>>
>> 'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the
>> annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout the place of
>> residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the
>> possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic
>> rodent known as Mus musculus (mouse).  Hosiery was
>> meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood
>> burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure
>> regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric
>> philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the
>> honorific title of St. Nicholas.
>>
>> The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their
>> respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing
>> subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated
>> fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums.
>> My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head
>> coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the
>> hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion
>> of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of
>> dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my
>> place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise
>> source thereof.
>>
>> Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers
>> sealing this fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar
>> brilliance without, reflected as it was on the surface of a recent
>> crystalline precipitation, might be said to rival that of the solar
>> meridian itself - thus permitting my incredulous optical
>> sensory organs to behold a miniature airborne runnered
>> conveyance drawn by eight diminutive specimens of the genus
>> Rangifer, piloted by a minuscule, aged chauffeur so ebullient
>> and nimble that it became instantly apparent to me that he was
>> indeed our anticipated caller.  With his ungulate motive power
>> traveling at what may possibly have been more vertiginous
>> velocity than patriotic alar predators, he vociferated loudly,
>> expelled breath musically through contracted labia,
>> and addressed each of the octet by his or her respective
>> cognomen - "Now Dasher, now Dancer..." et al. - guiding them
>> to the uppermost exterior level of our abode, through which
>> structure I could readily distinguish the concatenations of each
>> of the 32 cloven pedal extremities.
>>
>> As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was
>> performing a 180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant
>> achieved - with utmost celerity and via a downward leap - entry
>> by way of the smoke passage.  He was clad entirely in animal
>> pelts soiled by the ebony residue from oxidations of
>> carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls
>> thereof.  His resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely
>> to the plethora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in
>> a commodious cloth receptacle.
>>
>> His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his
>> submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of
>> engaging amiability.  The capillaries of his malar regions
>> and nasal appurtenance were engorged with blood which
>> suffused the subcutaneous layers, the former approximating the
>> coloration of Albion's floral emblem, the latter that of the Prunus
>> avium, or sweet cherry.  His amusing sub - and supralabials
>> resembled nothing so much as a common loop knot, and their
>> ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like small, tabular
>> and columnar crystals of frozen water.
>>
>> Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece
>> whose grey fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput,
>> were suggestive of a decorative seasonal circlet of holly.
>> His visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed
>> audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in
>> the manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical
>> container.  He was, in short, neither more nor less than an
>> obese, jocund, multigenarian gnome, the optical perception of
>> whom rendered me visibly frolicsome despite every effort to
>> refrain from so being.  By rapidly lowering and then elevating
>> one eyelid and rotating his head slightly to one side,
>> he indicated that trepidation on my part was groundless.
>>
>> Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the
>> aforementioned appended hosiery with various of the
>> aforementioned articles of merchandise extracted from his
>> aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle.
>> Upon completion of this task, he executed an abrupt about-face,
>> placed a single manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his
>> olfactory organ, inclined his cranium forward in a gesture of
>> leave-taking, and forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating
>> (in reverse) the smoke passage.  He then propelled himself in a
>> short vector onto his conveyance, directed a musical expulsion
>> of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered
>> quadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to soar aloft in a
>> movement hitherto observable chiefly among the seed-bearing
>> portions of a common weed.  But I overheard his parting
>> exclamation, audible immediately prior to his vehiculation
>> beyond the limits of visibility: "Ecstatic Yuletide to the planetary
>> constituency, and to that self same assemblage, my sincerest
>> wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable
>> period between sunset and dawn."
>>
>
>
> -- 
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>