Beth,

Grooaaannn!  and thanks for a day brightener!

http://www.charlesmarshallcomedy.com/Jokes/groaners.htm

The link has more groaners that I'm sure the punsters among us will
enjoy.  Most have been told at Corbett holiday dinners over the years
in slightly altered form.


On 6/25/07, ehthiers <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I know there are a number of people on this list that I know enjoy a good
> pun.  Ok these aren't it but, you've been forewarned.
>
>
> Subject: silly puns
>
>
>
>
>
> Silly puns hopefully to smile about.
>
> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger; and then it hit me.
> >
> > * Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a
> > rest.
> >
> > * Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
> > right now.
> >
> > * The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
> >
> > * To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
> >
> > * When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
> >
> > * A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
> >
> > * A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
> > criminal.
> >
> > * Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
> >
> > * We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
> >
> > * When the smog lifts in Los Angeles,  U C L A.
> >
> > * The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
> > it.
> >
> > * The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
> > ground.
> >
> > * The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
> >
> > * If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
> >
> > * A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
> >
> > * A bicycle can't stand alone;  it is two tired.
> >
> > * The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of
> > himself.
> >   [That's a story that lens itself.]
> >
> > * Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
> >
> > * A backward poet writes inverse.
> >
> > * In a democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your Count
>
> > that votes.
> >
> > * A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
> >
> > * With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
> >
> > * Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A -flat
> > miner.
> >
> > * When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
> >
> > * The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
> >
> > * A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum
> > Blownapart.
> >
> > * You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
> >
> > * He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
> >
> > * A boiled egg is hard to beat.
> >
> > * He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
> >
> > * His parents thought he was a budding genius, but he turned out to be a
> > blooming idiot.
> >
> > * A plateau is a high form of flattery.
> >
> > * When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
> >
> > * When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
> >
> > * Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
> >
> > * Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
> >
> > * Acupuncture: a jab well done
> >
>
>
> [log in to unmask]
> EarthLink Revolves Around You.
>
>
>
>
>
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-- 


Kendall

An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
progress depends on the unreasonable man.

-George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950

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