Angel,
First let me say, for your original request, that of the radio,
yes material possessions are OK to have, as long as they don't have us if
you get my meaning. I think you do have the right perspective on that.
Now, with respect to your parenting and lack or failure of, deserving of
and etc. particularly towards Kathy's comment, I have a couple
observations if I may.
I will start off saying I wouldn't make any comment if I didn't care for
you and so that will be the foundation of my comments. I will say that
the comment of "not deserving any children" and the accompanying
statements seems to be out of a knee jerk response to an offense and
hurt feelings. That should be, at least for my sake, pointed out. When I
read Kathy's comments I thought... "Oooh, that's a tough one", almost
harsh? But the contents of what she said was spot on when it comes to
discipline. I sense you were offended by the term "that's bad parenting".
At least that term stuck out to me as the potential ball peen on the knee.
However, that does not equate a bad parent. I tend to think, and perhaps
some might disagree, that I'm a pretty good parent, and yet I've had my
moments of bad parenting. Some in the repeated areas in which I should
have learned, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad parent. So perhaps you
might consider the points made, and match them to God's word on how to
deal with such, and whatever doesn't match. Toss out. Faithful are
the wounds of a friend and deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. I can't
tell you exactly what to do, but from all you have mentioned regarding
your son, I do feel you would benefit making realization to you and your
son that you are the parent with the keys to discipline and deserving
parental respect, not he. He is a young man or becoming so, at least in
age and physical traits, much less so in maturity and behavior I'm afraid,
and so the respect and honor that goes with your position as parent ought
be upheld and enforced. As well that honor and respect has a cost of
responsibility to not let a child rule the roost, blind mom or not. You
are indeed, if letting him call the shots as it were, not doing him any
good and are allowing him, that is all within your power to do ass a
parent, allowing him to go out in the world irresponsible and ill
prepared. Now, I will also say that each of us, child or adult has the
choice to do as he or she wishes, and even a parent can not strong arm a
child into something if he or she doesn't wish to do something. There are
always around that, but, you do not have to let it happen under your own
roof, and to your own things yes. No, the radio ought not have you as
possessions go, but as well it ought not have your son. the possession of
that or desire, cause him, or allegedly or possibly caused him to steal
it. Whatever the case, I commend you on your concern on how you conduct
your attitudes and conduct with respect to God's word, do not leave your
son out of that concern. It would appear to me that he is deserving for
prayer over the radio much more than your concern of materialism for
yourself. If he does not comply, and you are emotionally and verbally
abused and your possessions are stolen and he cannot be trusted, then he
may well need to find somewhere else to live so you can carry on your
daily walk. I do remember encouraging Kathy as well to a tough discipline,
and I know it is hard. My son is learning lessons as well out on his own
as he chose to do not being able to live under our rules and since has no
driver's license due to a drunk driving arrest, no car, and will be in an
insurance pool. He is broke all the time despite making fair money for his
age and little bills to take care of. I can't preach anymore, certain
lessons they have to pay for and glean what they can on their own. In Old
Testament days, if parents had a child who was unruly and could not be
disciplined, they literally turned him over to the elders of the city and
he was stoned to death. This is how much they realized proper discipline
was necessary not only for the family but for the neighbors, neighborhood
and city, and everyone he or she comes in contact with. for the good of
manhood altogether really. For your sake and your sons as well, perhaps
you need to look at your choices, and take a godly stand. Which doesn't
always appear loving. Love is harsh sometimes and has nothing to do with
making one feel good, which is why I think Kathy said what she said, I
think she loves you in Christ's love and yet knew it would hurt. That's
about as meddlesome as I want to get *smile*.
You can do it, you can take charge, if Malcome can't fly right under the
rules, if he will not respect you as his mother and obey the rules you've
set forth, you have no power over him and subject to continual prayer for
a situation which you are allowing to continue under your own roof. This
is said with the limited knowledge I have to consider as I am not there
obviously. You can do this thing though. And you will feel so much better
even trying with rivaled challenges than lying down and not trying at all.
The child submits to the parent, not the other way around. I'll pray for
you, for strength, for wisdom, for security who you are in your household.
Brad
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