Hey John,
Thanks for sharing this with us. I won't hold my breath waiting for this
wonderful speech but it sure would be great to hear it and have a president
have the courage to actually carry it out.
Virgie and Hoshi
----- Original Message -----
From: "John Schwery" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, July 01, 2006 8:59 AM
Subject: Fwd: Wouldn't it be great?
>I think this one is a keeper.
>
> Text of forwarded message follows:
>
>>WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT,
>>DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
>>
>>My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been
>>completed.
>>
>>Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
>>mission in Iraq is complete.
>>
>>This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
>>forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now
>>to begin the reckoning.
>>
>>Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
>>which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
>>The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the
>>countries listed there.
>>
>>The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
>>world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing
>>copies of both lists later this evening.
>>
>>Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
>>nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
>>during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
>>Iraqi war.
>>
>>The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
>>Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
>>
>>Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
>>
>>In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
>>toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that
>>note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt
>>you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the
>>earth.
>>
>>Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
>>
>>I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
>>Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
>>from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
>>
>>I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
>>diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking
>>tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
>>crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps
>>have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or
>>watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of
>>the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York
>>
>>A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely
>>to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
>>ticking us off for a change.
>>
>>Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government
>>really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and
>>infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep,
>>border security. So start doing something with your oil.
>>
>>Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
>>starting now.
>>
>>
>>We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for
>>oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for
>>decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision ,
>>I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.
>>
>>It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
>>Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn
>>tootin."
>>
>>
>>Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
>>world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
>>planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
>>homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from
>>America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe
>>you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You
>>might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good
>>night.
>>
>>If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,
>>thank a soldier.
>>
>>
>>
>>(If you agree with this suggestion, pass this along.)
>>
> End of forwarded message text:
>
> John
>
|