Kathy,
That was an awesome service. I can only hope that I can make such a
difference in folks lives that there's so many to attend it is exhausting
to those sending me off. Regarding the touching bit? I did the same thing
when my brother died. I was reluctant to at first, but without the visual
closure it seems silly standing there with nothingness. So I just padded
his chest and said" Good bye buddy". Dead or alive, our bodies are just a
physical representation of the person that lived or lives inside.
Brad
At 09:04 AM 1/19/2007, you wrote:
>Hi Guys,
> I wanted to write more yesterday and share with you all the
> happenings surrounding my Dad's funeral, but I came home with some kind
> of a bug and so I had to keep my message short and to the point. It is
> no fun flying when you don't feel well. Liz and I both just stayed in
> bed, for the most part and recovered. I just wanted to let you know
> yesterday that I was home and safe.
> Anyway, the events surrounding Dad's funeral were just
> amazing! I just have to share them with you. God was so with all of
> us. First of all, when the pastor came over on Sunday, to plan out the
> funeral service we all had a great time swapping memories of Dad and what
> a character he truley was.
> Then, and I have no idea how the next part of this story will fly
> with some of you, but I'll tell it anyway, because it was healing for me,
> I began praying about having the courage to touch my Dad in order to say
> goodbye. I felt as though the Lord was telling me that this would be an
> important part of the healing process for me because I wasn't able to say
> goodbye to him while he was still alive. Finally I prayed that, if the
> Lord felt that this was important for me, that he would arrange it so
> that I could do it alone, since I had no idea how I would react. I
> didn't even tell Greg about this because I thought that I was being so bizarre.
> Anyway, our family was scheduled to have a private viewing at
> 11:00 am. on Monday morning, which ended up being a very nice thing, but
> anyway, Greg and I got going earlier than expected and showed up arount
> 10:00 am. instead. We knew the funeral dirrector pretty well because we
> used to attend church together when Greg and I lived in the area. The
> funeral director came out to the parking lot to express his condolences
> to me personally and then he said, "Kathy, would you like to spend some
> time alone with your father ahead of time?" I couldn't believe it, but
> there was God preparing a private place for me in the midst of
> everything, so I went in with the director and spent some time alone with
> my Dad. I just kept stroking his arm and holding his hand. I couldn't
> believe how easy it was once I got past my own fears. What I hadn't
> expected was how I opened the door for others in my family, especially my
> Mom, to reach out and touch Dad to say goodbye after me.
> The rest of the family gathered and we hugged and cried, but
> rejoiced that Dad is at peace now. At around 4:00 pm. we had a public
> wake and, O My Goodness, I couldn't believe how many people showed up to
> say goodbye. The wake lasted three hours. Our family formed a reception
> line and I honestly didn't believe that there would be enough time for
> everybody to make it through. It was incredible how many lives this
> simple man touched. Our family had a kind of joke about it though. You
> see, my Dad hated crowds. He always just wanted to get in and get out
> and get whatever he was supposed to do over with. We were joking that
> this was probably the only way that Dad could have handled this
> situation, especially as the center of attention. GRIN! I'll bet that
> there were between 2 & 300 people, easy.
> Anyway, then, there was a military funeral. Wow, was that
> powerful. All the V.F.W. posts in the Stephenson area
> participated. It is a very moving service. First, they all filed past
> my Dad and gave him a sollute. then, they read about his military
> history and his obituary. When they prayed, they would remove their
> caps and put them back on when the prayer was done. Then, they began
> folding the flag and as they did so, the chaplain explained what each
> fold of the flag meant. It was really powerful. I was amazed at how much
> of the service, including each fold of the flag, points to honoring God
> first, above all else. Then, of course, they presented the flag to my
> Mom, then Taps was played on a trumpet and then, the men retreated.
> After that, they held, what is called a prayer service. The
> pastor preached a sermon at this and there was a time of prayer and then
> Greg and I sang the old Swedish hymn, "Day by Day."
> After most of the people had left, Mom wanted to go up to the
> casket one more time and I offered to go with her. She and I walked up
> and this time, she felt comfortable taking his arm and saying, "good
> night dear." It was very hard to keep from crying as she did this
> because I knew that this was what she had said to him every night, but
> this time, it was so final. We prayed together prayers of thanks for Dad
> and for the life he provided for us, with God's help.
> The next Day, was the church funeral. I and two of my brothers
> participated in that. I sang a simple song that Dad had asked me to sing
> when he died. The thing is, he had asked me to do this over 32 years
> ago. I also sang "Because He Lives," and we got the whole church rockin'
> on the chorus. then, the cemetary is right behind the church so we moved
> out to there, but the cool thing was that the pianist began playing, "How
> Great Thou Art," and I started singing it and everybody joined in, so we
> walked out to the cemetary, in 12 degree weather singing. Awesome,
> eh? Seven of Dad's Grandsons were the paul barers. Matt would have
> made eight, but he didn't want to do it.
> At the committal service, I sang, "Thy Holy Wings Dear
> Savior." The chill added extra vibrato to my voice, but I was determined
> to at least give this gift, since I had not been able to sing to him one
> more time before he left this earth.
> It was just a powerful few days for me. Thank you for letting me
> share. My mom is being amazing so far. I think that all of us kids are
> so worried about her. We're constantly calling her to make sure that
> she's okay and those who are close keep dropping in. She has just been
> so strong through all of this.
> I'll just share two more things, and then, I'll close. Our
> church out here in Glenburn, on their own, sent flowers to my
> family. That is incredible to me, that they would reach out beyond their
> circle to show such honor to my Dad. I can't tell you how good that made
> Greg and I feel.
> Secondly, there is a Steve Green song called, "Find Us
> Faithful." Some of the words in that song are, "After all our hopes and
> dreams have come and gone and our children sift through all we've left
> behind, may the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
> become the light that leads them to the road we each must find." Well,
> when my Mom was going through my Dad's wallet on Saturday, she found a
> little cross in it that says, "Jesus Saves." She has no idea how long he
> had carried it or where he picked it up, but this little cross was placed
> in Dad's hands for the viewing and the burial. He had always had it with
> him and he still does, but for a short time, everyone was able to see the
> testimony that my Dad lived in deeds.
>God bless,
>Kathy
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