Kathy,
No matter how hard we try to get away from it... seeing is believeing, and
we see with our hands often.
Brad
At 09:24 AM 1/19/2007, you wrote:
>Brad,
>My older brother Terry, who is also blind,wouldn't touch Dad. He was
>afraid that he would have nightmares. I'm glad that I did though. It
>wasn't any different than touching a person who is a sleep. It was very
>healing for me and I'm so glad that I followed the Lord's leading in
>this. He was right, as usual!
>Kathy
>
>
>
>At 10:19 AM 1/19/2007, you wrote:
>>Kathy,
>>
>>That was an awesome service. I can only hope that I can make such a
>>difference in folks lives that there's so many to attend it is exhausting
>>to those sending me off. Regarding the touching bit? I did the same
>>thing when my brother died. I was reluctant to at first, but without the
>>visual closure it seems silly standing there with nothingness. So I just
>>padded his chest and said" Good bye buddy". Dead or alive, our bodies are
>>just a physical representation of the person that lived or lives inside.
>>
>>Brad
>>
>>
>>
>>At 09:04 AM 1/19/2007, you wrote:
>>
>>>Hi Guys,
>>> I wanted to write more yesterday and share with you all the
>>> happenings surrounding my Dad's funeral, but I came home with some kind
>>> of a bug and so I had to keep my message short and to the point. It is
>>> no fun flying when you don't feel well. Liz and I both just stayed in
>>> bed, for the most part and recovered. I just wanted to let you know
>>> yesterday that I was home and safe.
>>> Anyway, the events surrounding Dad's funeral were just
>>> amazing! I just have to share them with you. God was so with all of
>>> us. First of all, when the pastor came over on Sunday, to plan out the
>>> funeral service we all had a great time swapping memories of Dad and
>>> what a character he truley was.
>>> Then, and I have no idea how the next part of this story will
>>> fly with some of you, but I'll tell it anyway, because it was healing
>>> for me, I began praying about having the courage to touch my Dad in
>>> order to say goodbye. I felt as though the Lord was telling me that
>>> this would be an important part of the healing process for me because I
>>> wasn't able to say goodbye to him while he was still alive. Finally I
>>> prayed that, if the Lord felt that this was important for me, that he
>>> would arrange it so that I could do it alone, since I had no idea how I
>>> would react. I didn't even tell Greg about this because I thought that
>>> I was being so bizarre.
>>> Anyway, our family was scheduled to have a private viewing at
>>> 11:00 am. on Monday morning, which ended up being a very nice thing,
>>> but anyway, Greg and I got going earlier than expected and showed up
>>> arount 10:00 am. instead. We knew the funeral dirrector pretty well
>>> because we used to attend church together when Greg and I lived in the
>>> area. The funeral director came out to the parking lot to express his
>>> condolences to me personally and then he said, "Kathy, would you like
>>> to spend some time alone with your father ahead of time?" I couldn't
>>> believe it, but there was God preparing a private place for me in the
>>> midst of everything, so I went in with the director and spent some time
>>> alone with my Dad. I just kept stroking his arm and holding his
>>> hand. I couldn't believe how easy it was once I got past my own
>>> fears. What I hadn't expected was how I opened the door for others in
>>> my family, especially my Mom, to reach out and touch Dad to say goodbye
>>> after me.
>>> The rest of the family gathered and we hugged and cried, but
>>> rejoiced that Dad is at peace now. At around 4:00 pm. we had a public
>>> wake and, O My Goodness, I couldn't believe how many people showed up
>>> to say goodbye. The wake lasted three hours. Our family formed a
>>> reception line and I honestly didn't believe that there would be enough
>>> time for everybody to make it through. It was incredible how many
>>> lives this simple man touched. Our family had a kind of joke about it
>>> though. You see, my Dad hated crowds. He always just wanted to get in
>>> and get out and get whatever he was supposed to do over with. We were
>>> joking that this was probably the only way that Dad could have handled
>>> this situation, especially as the center of attention. GRIN! I'll bet
>>> that there were between 2 & 300 people, easy.
>>> Anyway, then, there was a military funeral. Wow, was that
>>> powerful. All the V.F.W. posts in the Stephenson area
>>> participated. It is a very moving service. First, they all filed past
>>> my Dad and gave him a sollute. then, they read about his military
>>> history and his obituary. When they prayed, they would remove their
>>> caps and put them back on when the prayer was done. Then, they began
>>> folding the flag and as they did so, the chaplain explained what each
>>> fold of the flag meant. It was really powerful. I was amazed at how
>>> much of the service, including each fold of the flag, points to
>>> honoring God first, above all else. Then, of course, they presented
>>> the flag to my Mom, then Taps was played on a trumpet and then, the men
>>> retreated.
>>> After that, they held, what is called a prayer service. The
>>> pastor preached a sermon at this and there was a time of prayer and
>>> then Greg and I sang the old Swedish hymn, "Day by Day."
>>> After most of the people had left, Mom wanted to go up to the
>>> casket one more time and I offered to go with her. She and I walked up
>>> and this time, she felt comfortable taking his arm and saying, "good
>>> night dear." It was very hard to keep from crying as she did this
>>> because I knew that this was what she had said to him every night, but
>>> this time, it was so final. We prayed together prayers of thanks for
>>> Dad and for the life he provided for us, with God's help.
>>> The next Day, was the church funeral. I and two of my brothers
>>> participated in that. I sang a simple song that Dad had asked me to
>>> sing when he died. The thing is, he had asked me to do this over 32
>>> years ago. I also sang "Because He Lives," and we got the whole church
>>> rockin' on the chorus. then, the cemetary is right behind the church
>>> so we moved out to there, but the cool thing was that the pianist began
>>> playing, "How Great Thou Art," and I started singing it and everybody
>>> joined in, so we walked out to the cemetary, in 12 degree weather
>>> singing. Awesome, eh? Seven of Dad's Grandsons were the paul
>>> barers. Matt would have made eight, but he didn't want to do it.
>>> At the committal service, I sang, "Thy Holy Wings Dear
>>> Savior." The chill added extra vibrato to my voice, but I was
>>> determined to at least give this gift, since I had not been able to
>>> sing to him one more time before he left this earth.
>>> It was just a powerful few days for me. Thank you for letting
>>> me share. My mom is being amazing so far. I think that all of us kids
>>> are so worried about her. We're constantly calling her to make sure
>>> that she's okay and those who are close keep dropping in. She has just
>>> been so strong through all of this.
>>> I'll just share two more things, and then, I'll close. Our
>>> church out here in Glenburn, on their own, sent flowers to my
>>> family. That is incredible to me, that they would reach out beyond
>>> their circle to show such honor to my Dad. I can't tell you how good
>>> that made Greg and I feel.
>>> Secondly, there is a Steve Green song called, "Find Us
>>> Faithful." Some of the words in that song are, "After all our hopes
>>> and dreams have come and gone and our children sift through all we've
>>> left behind, may the clues that they discover and the memories they
>>> uncover become the light that leads them to the road we each must
>>> find." Well, when my Mom was going through my Dad's wallet on
>>> Saturday, she found a little cross in it that says, "Jesus Saves." She
>>> has no idea how long he had carried it or where he picked it up, but
>>> this little cross was placed in Dad's hands for the viewing and the
>>> burial. He had always had it with him and he still does, but for a
>>> short time, everyone was able to see the testimony that my Dad lived in deeds.
>>>God bless,
>>>Kathy
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