Phil,
I have to make this quick because I'm on my way to church.  First of 
all, I just wanted to say, don't worry about the language.  Your post 
was tame compared to all the stuff Christopher used.  Man, I never 
realized before he started up that the F word could serve as noun, 
verb, adverb and adjective!  What a handy word!

Secondly, I know that you are a good, godly parent.  If you weren't, 
you wouldn't have hung in there as long as you have.

Finally, thanks to you, I've been praying that way for Chris for 
about a year now.  It's scary, but eternity in hell is 
scarier.  Besides, God loves him, and Gretchen, even more than we do, 
so I trust that what will happen will ultimately bring victory for 
Christ.  Thanks for teaching me this.  Now I pray that I can be a 
support for you as you have always been there for me.
Kathy


At 08:02 PM 6/24/2006, you wrote:
>Kathy,
>
>My 10 year old grandson understand, up to a point, but that's a big part of
>the overall problem.  I explained to Gretchen the night before Father's Day,
>that her oldest son has only one parent and no dad.  I know what it is like
>to grow up at his age without a father.  Father's Day after Father's Day
>goes by and you think nothing of it but I guarantee you that the Enemy
>hasn't forgotten.  He uses such opportunities to implant lies that little
>boys, or girls, learn to believ because they feel true at the time.  "You
>aren't good enough or you would have a dad.  Your dad left because he never
>loved you.  Your mom doesn't even love you.  If you had only been better,
>your dad wouldn't have left you," and that's only a sample.  I pray with
>grown men all the time who have heard these lies but never knew it until the
>Lord revealed it to them in prayer sessions.  I pray every Monday night with
>two Denver men, one who comes to my office on the way home from work, and
>they both have father problems.  One hates his father and the other lost his
>dad at age 6 when his father died.  He says he has almost no childhood
>memories.  I here this all the time, too, until the Lord opens their
>woundedness and then brings in His truth and healing into their brokenness.
>These two men, and I, all have the same woundedness and yet all three of us
>are Christians and all three of us had Christian fathers.  That's likely
>something we won't hear in church next Sunday.  On this last Father's Day,
>Gretchen told her oldest boy, when he wanted to know if she was staying home
>that evening, that she had to go be with her boyfriend, who is lost, by the
>way.  why, you might ask?  Because, poor Mike doesn't get to see his little
>girl on Father's Day.  I stopped Gretchen just before she left to go to her
>boyfriends to see if what she had told her son was indeed what she said.
>She admitted that it was what she said.  I explained, in even more detail,
>all I just said and included much more based upon not only those with whom I
>have prayed, but I included my own experiences related to this subject.  My
>mother was never gone.  She never even dated until I was almost out of the
>home and going to Bible college.  Gretchen informed me that she would let
>nothing jeopardize her quote sobriety unquote by sitting home alone in the
>evenings while her son was over at my son's house 50 feet away in my
>backyard.  You want to know what I said?  And I quote myself word for word.
>"Gretchen, I don't give a damn about your sobriety and I don't give a damn
>about Mike.  I do care if someone allows my grandson to be destroyed by the
>Enemy because they are too ungodly to be a parent."  Street language, by the
>way, is all some people, including my daughter, understands.  If I told you
>some of the things my daughter used to say to her father and mother as a
>teenager, and later as an young adult, you wouldn't believe it.  I wanted
>her to understand what comes first.  If her freaky stupid sobriety is more
>important to her than her children, screw it.  Jesus comes first or He
>doesn't so which is it going to be, Gretchen?  I learned the hard way that
>there is no other way, or choice, than Jesus.  I don't care if you are a
>dope addict, an alcolholic, or whatever it might be.  Jesus is first.  A man
>I was praying with this week told me, after I said something to him, "You
>know something, Phil?  My pastor preached something like you just told me
>last Sunday."  I asked what the sermon was about.  He said, "It was called,
>god Will Kill You."  He is going to email me the link so I can listen to it
>on their church website.  This man said his pastor preached on how God will
>do whatever He wants to get your attention and you don't get one thing to
>say about it except for, yes.  He furthermore said, God is not a Co Maniger
>of our lives.  He is only The Manager.  Man, I about jumped out of my chair.
>It doesn't get any better than that.  Gretchen does not believe this, of
>course, so who suffers?  Her two children who are not old enough to even see
>the lies they are told.  Gretchen almost brags about being an addict now
>because this is what she is forced to listen to from her drug rehab classes.
>They are not even allowed to get up in front of the group, when called upon,
>without first starting out by saying, my name is Phil and I am a meth
>addict.  It makes me barf every time I hear her say it because it is a lie.
>Gretchen is not an addict, and I have told her this, she is a sinner.  Does
>she need help?  Sure, who doesn't.  Gretchen lived a perfect, holy, Amen
>shouting life when at the church drug home for a year.  she was high two
>weeks after she left the home.  So much for God healing people.  The problem
>was, God wasn't there at the time, Gretchen just lived by a set of rules.
>Jesus was never the Lord of her life during that time.  I have raised my
>oldest grandson and spent more hours with him than any person on the planet.
>I used to baby sit him 6 to 6 and a half hours each day so Gretchen and her
>husband could make more money than Sandy and I put together.  I taught him
>how to swing, jump on the trampoline, and how to stay in the yard without a
>fence, I might add.  Every time I had to use my tools to fix something, I
>showed him step by step how to do it.  I let him hold the tools, turn the
>screws, swing the hammer, and everything else that had to be done.  this
>week, in spite of my back, I carried a tall trash basket out of my office.
>I took it outside to dump into the large city barrel they pick up on
>Mondays.  My 2 year old grandson was asleep but awakened when he heard me
>coming back in.  He started saying, Trash, over and over, and I realized he
>wanted to help.  I have a small basket I keep in front of my desk.  People
>do a lot of crying in my office; even grown men.  Jesus can break anybody.
>Somebody had put empty pop cans and some other trash in my basket.  Guess
>who that might be when she comes in through my office to go downstairs to
>her apartment.  So, since I always have an apointment with a lady on
>Tuesdays and Thursdays in my office, I was going to dump that basket out.  I
>showed my little grandson where it was and handed it to him.  I told him he
>had to use both hands.  He did.  I opened all the doors until we got outside
>and up to the big barrel that is so tall, he in no way could reach it.  So,
>I carefully squatted down, careful to watch my back, wrapped my right arm
>around him, and lifted him up and opened the lid with my other hand for him.
>I had to also help him turn the little basket upside down because it was a
>little too large for him but he helped.  when I thought we were done, I
>asked him if it were empty and he said no.  I felt inside and sure enough,
>some stuff was still stuck in the bottom.  So we repeated the whole process.
>When we were done, I lifted him up again so he, not me, could reach the
>large hinged lid and pull it shut.  This is how serious I take parenting and
>grandparenting.  Gretchen's sobriety is more important, and her poor lonely
>boyfriend is more important, than parenting.  So, you might say, I have an
>attitude when it comes to putting children first and the only way I know of
>doing that, is putting Jesus first.  There is only one way out now and
>Gretchen isn't going to like it.  Yep, I've protected her from God way too
>long.  I've bust my bunions for Gretchen over the years.  I've gone to the
>hospital for her.  I paid for her teeth that are now literally rotting out
>of her head.  Although few would believe it, not all, but a large part of my
>back problems were emotionally related to Gretchen.  I know God when I hear
>Him.  So, Kathy, now I am going to do what I have really put off doing
>because I know what it can do to a person as an intercessor.  I'm going to
>pray that God does whatever it takes to show Gretchen He is Lord of her life
>regardless of what she thinks.
>
>Phil.