Kathy,

Sandy and I have been discussing what we should do based on what is best for
the children.  I had a talk with Gretchen recently which I have not
described, or talked about, because it was just more of the same.  I also
talked with a friend last night who had a meeting with Gretchen this week
and he, independently, came up with the same conclusion.  That is, Gretchen
is trying to be clean but not Christian.  So, in spite of the fact she seems
to have been clean for three weeks, she still isn't interested in the Lord
being the Lord of her life.  These meth people do want such from time to
time but it lasts for a day or two and then you know the rest.  Trusting the
Lord with Gretchen doesn't mean forsaking her but it does mean forgiving
her.  In the process of forgiveness, however, that can mean some pretty
serious decisions.  If there weren't children involved, it would make things
a hundred times easier but everything we do has to take them into
consideration and believe me, tossing a child's mother out is super hard.
That aside, we have given Gretchen the chances we thought were necessary but
now she has become a burden in more ways than one.  Meth addicts are users
and they use everybody, including God, if they think they can get away with
it.  In my decision, which I had actually already made before posting my
question, and was confirmed by my friend and his private talk with Gretchen,
we had a family talk with Gretchen which included her former husband who has
custody of their 6 year old.  He wanted Sandy and I there as witnesses.  He
was refusing to allow the 6 year old to stay all night with Gretchen based
upon the fact she was taking Taylor with her to stay at her boyfriend's
place.  As of this week, she is still, occasionally, not coming home at
night.  So that made the decision for us.  I had already told her this last
weekend but now, after my friend confirmed his opinion of her attitude, we
are all in agreement about what has to be done.  Fortunately, Gretchen is
still working but only because she works for her brother.  She has been
turning her money over to him each week but she isn't turning her life over
to the Lord and she isn't putting her children first.  What really breaks my
heart is that there are people sitting in church pews every Sunday who have
no different attitude than my daughter but they aren't on drugs.  The Lord
showed this to me recently and it was very difficult to see.  It basically
means more targeted prayer on my behalf.  It is clear now that Gretchen is
striving to be clean until she is free of her diversionary program.  There
is no doubt, once she is clear of that, she will go right back to the way
she has been living.  I know what it is like to live without a parent.  My
10 year old grandson only has his mom.  He has no father.  This slows down
decision making procedures a great deal but Gretchen has made it clear she
doesn't care about anything but making it through the program so no one can
tell her what to do.  They are leaving today with my son and his family to
go a couple of hours into the mountains to camp.  Gretchen won't have any
access to anyone with drugs.  It will be interesting to see how she makes it
because they are camping on private land in the middle of no where.

Phil.