Hi Colleen,

> I have a question for you-
> what type of butter or margarine substitute do you give your daugher, if 
> any?

Fleischmann's unsalted margarine is the most common in our parts.

> Also, I ordered a book on dairy free desserts, but many of them called for 
> chocolate chips (which obviously contain milk), so what are people using as 
> a "chocolate substitute?"  I want my daughter to have a "treat" for specail 
> occassions at school like the other kids get!

Dark chocolate can contain no dairy.

The best way to be sure is to contact the manufacturer but there are shortcuts.
1) Ingredient lists.
2) Parveh (parve, pareve... pick your favourite spelling) Kosher labelling.

"Kosher" labelling, if it does not include "D" (for "dairy) or "DE" (for "dairy equipment), usually means that the product contains no dairy.  However, this is a religious designation governed by rules that _may_ allow "unintentional" trace amounts.  So, if you are hair-trigger anaphylactic, you should still contact the manufacturer.
(*) Some agencies are more strict and require zero chance of contamination.  Again, you may contact them for information.

Below is a list of Kosher labels commonly used in North America.
http://www.kosherquest.org/index.asp?theaction=symbols
http://www.hechshers.info/index.htm
http://www.kashrut.com/agencies/
http://www.kosherquest.org/html/Reliable_Kosher_Symbols.htm

If this is confusing, feel free to contact me (either on or off the list) and I'll be happy to help any way I can.

Best wishes,
Alex.