Sharon,

I've seen those before but still got a good laugh out of them.

JulieMelton
visit me at
www.heart-and-music.com
Keep smiling!


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Sharon Hooley" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, July 10, 2006 9:17 PM
Subject: For Those who are going through fiery Math Trials


> Here are some math boosters for ya.  Hope this lightens things up a 
> little.
>
> Sharon
>
> A Norwegian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he 
> passes
> a little math test.
>
> "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers,
> represent the number 9."
>
> "Without numbers?" the Norwegian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to
> draw three trees.
>
> "What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and 
> tree
> make nine," says the Norwegian.
>
> "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same
> rules, but this time the number is 99." The Norwegian stares into space 
> for
> a while,
>
> then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on 
> each
> tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do
>
> you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's
> dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
>
> The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this
> Norwegian, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but
> represent
>
> the number 100." The Norwegian stares into space some more, then he picks 
> up
> the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and 
> says,
>
> "Ere you go. One hundred."
>
> The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that
> represents a hundred!" (You're going to love this one!!!) The Norwegian
> leans forward
>
> and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog
> came along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd,
> dirty
>
> tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hundred. So, when 
> I
> start?"
>
>
>
> math funny
>
> At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be 
> a
> public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in
> possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a
> calculator. At a morning press conference, The US attorney general said he
> believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is 
> being
> charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. Al-gebra is 
> a
> fearsome cult, the attorney general said. "They desire average solutions 
> by
> means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of 
> absolute
> values. They use secret code names like 'x' and'y' and refer to themselves
> as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator 
> of
> the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
> philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."
> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had 
> wanted
> us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more
> fingers and toes."
>
>