Virgie, don't hold your breath. You will turn blue.
earlier, VIRGIE UNDERWOOD, wrote:
>Hey John,
>Thanks for sharing this with us. I won't hold my breath waiting for
>this wonderful speech but it sure would be great to hear it and have
>a president have the courage to actually carry it out.
>Virgie and Hoshi
>----- Original Message ----- From: "John Schwery" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Saturday, July 01, 2006 8:59 AM
>Subject: Fwd: Wouldn't it be great?
>
>
>>I think this one is a keeper.
>>
>>Text of forwarded message follows:
>>
>>>WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S.
>>>PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
>>>
>>>My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime
>>>has been completed.
>>>
>>>Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war,
>>>our mission in Iraq is complete.
>>>
>>>This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all
>>>American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30
>>>days. It is now to begin the reckoning.
>>>
>>>Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of
>>>countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict.
>>>This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria,
>>>Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
>>>
>>>The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of
>>>the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
>>>distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
>>>
>>>Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
>>>those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The
>>>money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for
>>>the costs of the Iraqi war.
>>>
>>>The American people are no longer going to pour money into third
>>>world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
>>>
>>>Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
>>>
>>>In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect
>>>this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have
>>>at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw
>>>with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your
>>>friends from the face of the earth.
>>>
>>>Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
>>>
>>>I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
>>>France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades.
>>>We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
>>>
>>>I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the
>>>many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than
>>>two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be
>>>stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty
>>>pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid
>>>tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes,
>>>Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops
>>>in the world. I love New York
>>>
>>>A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
>>>likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want
>>>to try not ticking us off for a change.
>>>
>>>Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
>>>government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a
>>>couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess
>>>where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing
>>>something with your oil.
>>>
>>>Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
>>>starting now.
>>>
>>>
>>>We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be
>>>drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this
>>>country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an
>>>environmentalist who opposes this decision , I refer you to List 2
>>>above: pick a country and move there. They care.
>>>
>>>It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
>>>citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by
>>>saying, "darn tootin."
>>>
>>>
>>>Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around
>>>the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about
>>>everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America.
>>>It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to
>>>eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1,
>>>a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To
>>>the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to
>>>speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night.
>>>
>>>If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in
>>>English, thank a soldier.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>(If you agree with this suggestion, pass this along.)
>>End of forwarded message text:
>>
>>John
>
>
John
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