Phil.
I really don't know what to say.  I don't know if i put this in my message
when i first got back... but the day my dad was killed, i woke up at 3 AM
and had a very uneasy feeling inside.  I prayed.  He died.  I prayed against
death, but did God really hear my prayers?  I feel like i am not rightious
enough, and that I'm not a quote-true-unquote Christian.  I feel like a fake
because my prayer wasn't answer.  I hear and read about all of those others
that pray before things happen, and it is prevented.  I know i can't go back
and change what was done either.  I feel like i can't pray anymore because
if I do nothing will be accomplished... it wasn't that night.  I know this
is a lie of satan, but feel like i can't do anything about it.  I know God
wants to deliver me, but just don't know how.
Jenifer Barr

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthins me."
Phil 4:13

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----- Original Message -----
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, December 29, 2003 11:21 PM
Subject: I Flew Kites With Jesus Part 2


>      Then I spoke and said, "There's one thing left now."
>
>      "What's that, Phil," Bret asked.
>
>      "I feel lonely.  I feel all alone and by myself."
>
>      "Holy Spirit, show Phil what you want him to know about this
> loneliness he feels," Bret prayed.
>
>      At that very moment, the memory picture of being in the
> hospital and laying on my back instantly vanished and was replaced
> with another memory.  I was at the graveside service of my father.
> I saw myself and my mom and all the other people on one side of
> the casket.  On the opposite side of the casket, I saw Jesus.  He
> seemed as if He wanted to say something or do something but I
> couldn't understand what it was.  I also felt the anger firmly
> rooted in this memory and that it had not come from the hospital
> memory at all.  I reported this to Bret.
>
>      "Lord Jesus, what do you want to do with Phil's anger that he
> feels?" Bret prayed.
>
>      "He wants me to give it to him." I replied without
> hesitation.  So I prayed and gave it to the Lord.
>
>      "Holy Spirit," he prayed, "what is it now that you want Phil
> to know or to understand about this memory event in his life?"
>
>      I laughed.
>
>      "What is it?" Bret asked.
>
>      "Well," I replied, "I can see myself standing on the other
> side of the casket.  I am smiling and saying, "Can I go play now?"
>
>      Bret laughed, too.  "Sure.  Nothing wrong with that."
>
>      I saw the Lord still standing on the other side of the
> casket.  I felt He was saying, "Come with me."
>
>      I said, "Come with you where?"
>
>      Jesus raised in arm as if to say, "Follow me."  Instantly the
> memory picture of the graveside service vanished and I was back at
> the home where I grew up.  Jesus was walking next to me into the
> field next to our home where I used to fly my kites.  My dad
> taught me how to fly kites in that very field.  As we walked out
> into the warm sunshine of the summer day, I saw myself carrying a
> red kite and I saw another red kite flying high overhead already
> and it was red as well.  I somehow knew both kites were mine.  As
> we walked, the man next to me was clearly Jesus and felt like
> Jesus but he also felt just like my father.  Yet I knew it was the
> Lord.  I reported this to Bret.
>
>      Keep in mind that what I just described was not a memory I
> was seeing.  Additionally, all my memories and things I sense when
> I pray are still pictures, that is, nothing is moving.
> Occasionally, something like this happens as I pray where movement
> occurs.  I have no idea exactly why the memories are like fixed
> snap shot pictures but then occasionally there is movement.  I
> personally interpret it as a level of deeper spiritual intimacy
> occurring because in every case, that's how it feels.
>
>      Bret asked me if we could return to the two memories to make
> certain we haven't missed anything.  I agreed and there was
> nothing remaining in the memory of the graveside service I had
> concerning my father.  The hospital memory was different.
>
> Note.
>
>      The moment I went back in my mind to the memory in the
> hospital, I felt Jesus standing next to me but did not see Him.  I
> also did not see my bed nor myself in the bed.  It felt like a
> large empty room.
>
>      "I still feel a little bit of anger left in this memory," I
> said.
>
>      "Holy Spirit," Bret prayed, "What do you want Phil to know
> about this anger?"
>
>      The feeling I received as an answer is a great deal more
> complex than I am able to describe but in my own words, it is
> something like this.  The Lord told me that we are friends and
> that sometimes friends have disagreements and misunderstandings.
> Sometimes friends will even have arguments and become angry.
> Again, the Lord said, we were friends so as far as He was
> concerned, the misunderstanding and the anger was over because of
> our friendship.  He made it clear in my thinking that He wasn't
> upset that I was mad at Him at the time.  The feeling of being in
> a partnership manifested in my thoughts again and seemed to be
> growing stronger.
>
>      At this point, the remaining feeling of anger vanished and
> there were no negative emotions remaining in that memory in the
> hospital.
>
>      After reporting what I felt the Lord was saying about all
> this, Bret prayed again and said, "Holy Spirit, is there anything
> else Phil needs to know about this memory?"
>
>      Instantly I heard the words and spoke them audibly the moment
> I heard them because it was so strongly stated, I could not keep
> quiet.  I said, "I am not blind any more."
>
> Note.
>
>      Of course, this can be taken two ways, or both ways, for that
> matter.  The Lord could have been speaking spiritually or
> physically.  It makes no difference to me how you personally
> interpret what I just said.  I know in my heart, on the other
> hand, what He was talking about.
>
>      Again Bret prayed, "Holy Spirit, is there anything else?"
>
>      I spoke it the instant I heard the words; "We are leaving
> this place."
>
>      "We are leaving this place?" Bret questioned.
>
> Note.
>
>      The reason he asked this question is due to the fact I used
> the word "we."  In demonic manifestation, it is common that they
> will speak in the plural because there is often more than one
> demonic spirit involved.  Also, it is very common for demons to
> leave on their own when the reason for their presence has been
> removed, that is, their implanted lies.  Sometimes they will even
> say they are leaving out loud through the person's own voice or
> they will say this in the mind of the person receiving
> intercessory prayer.  Additionally, in the case of multiple
> personalities, or Dissociative Identity Disorder cases, the term
> "we" is sometimes used by the alternate personalities as a
> collective statement.  Since I figured this was what Bret might be
> thinking, I clarified what I said.
>
>      "Yes, the Lord said, we are leaving this place."
>
>      A final time, Bret said, "Holy Spirit, is there anything
> else?"
>
>      Again, the words came to my mind instantly and I spoke them
> aloud.  "And we are never coming back."
>
>      Bret said, "I know that is true, Phil."
>
>      "Oh, really?" I replied.  "How?"
>
>      "Because," he said, "that is exactly what the Lord said to me
> before you spoke it out loud."
>
>      I laughed because I have had the exact same thing happen to
> me as an intercessor when praying with others.
>
> Personal Comments
>
>      Some people think this type of thing is still psychology and
> packaged in Biblical terms.  They will refer to it as regressive
> therapy, inner healing, hypnosis, suggestive imagery, and some
> like to call this Psycho Heresy.  They never once consider it to
> be what it really is and that is agreement of two people in
> intercessory prayer.  When I am praying with people, sometimes I
> pray and sometimes I ask them to pray.  What is going on in the
> mind is nothing different than personal prayer that is conducted
> silently.  If you have never heard the Lord speaking to you in
> your thoughts, I would be concerned.  Why?  Because if you do not
> know His voice, as He said we would in John's Gospel, (see John
> 10:4), then you will find it less easy to follow Him as that verse
> proclaims we should as His Sheep.  Additionally, if you do not
> know our Lord's voice, how will you know the difference in your
> thoughts when He speaks to you compared to that of a demonic
> spirit's voice?  The truth is, you won't and you will be deceived
> if it is demonic in nature.
>
> Illustration
>
>      I was praying with a lady one day who was suicidal.  she
> admitted she was hearing voices as well and she concluded that she
> had to be crazy.  Besides, it was what everyone else thought;
> including her own doctor, friends, and family.  I asked her if she
> wanted to pray and she said that she did.  As we prayed, exactly
> as you have read about in this testimony, she began to experience
> blockage to her own thoughts.  This can only mean one of three
> things.  The person is mentally ill and literally is incapable of
> focusing on certain thoughts, they are Dissociative, or they are
> being demonically influenced.  I asked this lady if she wanted to
> find out the truth and she said yes.  I prayed and in the name of
> the True Lord Jesus Christ, I set down parameters for any demons
> that were present to follow.  I told them, if they did not obey
> the rules, I would immediately turn them over to the Lord Jesus
> Christ.  The reason for this is due to the nature of demonic
> spirits.  They love to play with your mind and they love to
> sidetrack you from finding out the truth, that is, why they have
> the right to be there in that person's life in the first place.
> If you spend any other time trying to debate them, you will most
> likely be fooled.  Laying down guidelines or parameters for them
> to obey sets the rules.  If they disobey, they immediately are
> turned over to Jesus because He is their Lord and Master and they
> must obey Him and His Word.
>
>      Once this was done, I asked the Lord Jesus to pick a
> spokesman, if there was more than one unclean spirit present, to
> speak and to confess why they have the right to be in this woman's
> life.  This is a good idea unless you want to be talking with
> different demons all day long.  Besides, we don't need to talk to
> all of them anyway.  A demon spoke in this woman's mind and she
> told me what he said.
>
>      To make a long story short, the Lord did something very
> unusual for this lady.  When I asked her what she was hearing in
> her thoughts, she said, "Well, I hear two voices."  I asked her
> what one was saying.  She said, "It is saying I am crazy and
> should be in the hospital to get help."  I asked her if she knew
> who that voice was and she said, "That's a demon."  I asked her
> what the other voice was saying in her thoughts and she said, "He
> is saying, I am not crazy and He can heal and He cares for me."  I
> asked her if she knew who that was and she said, "that has to be
> the Lord."
>
>      I said, "Can you see what the Lord just has done for you?"
>
>      She said, "What?"
>
>      I said, "The Lord just proved to you that you are not crazy."
> I said, "If you were crazy, you could not have told me the
> difference between those two voices but because you do recognize
> the difference, the Lord showed you that you are not crazy."
>
>      This is why it is important that we hear the Lord as we pray
> and know His voice.  Otherwise, we can be easily fooled in to
> listening to the wrong voice.
>
> Conclusion
>
>      Following the closing of the church I pastored for only
> eleven months, I began having anxiety and panic attacks.  Due to
> the manic depression, I found it impossible to work.  During this
> three year period of my life, a good friend called one night.
> "Hey, Phil.  This is Bill.  I want you to go with me to hear an
> evangelist speak at First Assemblies of God in Aurora where I am a
> member."
>
>      "When is he going to be there?" I asked; thinking I could
> put him off week by week until he gave up on me.
>
>      "He is preaching tonight and he is great.  I want to pick you
> up tonight."
>
>      I tried getting out of it but Bill was so insistent, I
> finally gave in.  I had told him no about such things so many
> times before, I finally decided I couldn't say no any more.
>
>      I cannot remember this preacher's last name but his first
> name was Jim.  He was good and I actually found myself encouraged
> by his preaching that night.  He wasn't the typical pulpit
> pounding, overbearing yelling type of preacher like I am, but he
> was good and I appreciated what he said.
>
>      Of course, there was an altar call and about everybody in the
> meeting, including my friend, when forward for prayer.  I didn't.
>
>      Bill returned after being prayed for and asked me if I wanted
> to go down for prayer.  I said I didn't need to but thanked him
> anyway.  We waited, for what, I didn't know.  I felt anxiety
> building and tightness growing in my chest and I wanted to get
> home.  Yet, we sat there doing nothing as others received prayer.
>
>      Probably thirty minutes passed and my friend said, "Are you
> sure you don't want him to pray with you?  Just about everybody is
> gone."
>
>      "Naw," I said; I'm fine.  Talk about lying.
>
>      "Oh, come on, Phil.  What can it hurt."
>
>      Bill knew the depression I had been going through.  "All
> right," I sighed, "let's go."
>
>      The building was almost empty and few people were left as I
> was introduced to the evangelist.  He took my hand and said, "I
> bet I know what you want."
>
>      "I said, "No, I really do not need to pray about being healed
> and getting my sight back because I have settled that issue with
> God already."
>
>      "Then what shall we pray about?" he asked kindly.
>
>      "I said I was just having a hard time right now and was very
> discouraged."  What an understatement but this man was wiser than
> I gave him credit.
>
>      He said, "I want to tell you something.  The Lord is going to
> call you into a deliverance ministry."
>
>      I immediately broke down and began to cry.  Barely able to
> speak, I said, "I don't want to be in a deliverance ministry," and
> I explained how I had been demonically attacked already.
>
>      "No, no," he said.  "I'm sorry.  I don't mean that type of
> ministry of casting out demons and all that stuff we think about
> as Charismatics and Pentecostals.  You are going to work with
> people one-on-one and this will be something totally different.
> You are going to be greatly used by God in the new ministry and
> minister to many people."
>
>      We prayed and I thought nothing more about it.  I had no idea
> what he had been talking about until nearly fourteen years later
> when his personal prophecy concerning my life came to pass.  I am
> now doing exactly what he said the Lord revealed to him about me.
> If I knew the man's name and how to find him, I would love to talk
> to him and tell him he really did hear from the Lord that night he
> prayed for me and the personal prophecy the Lord gave him for me
> has come to pass.
>
> Final Remarks
>
>      Now, where are you in God?  Do you feel his love?  When you
> pray, are you aware of His presence in your life?  What about
> those thoughts in your mind?  Why aren't they in agreement with
> God's Word.  Could it be that you, too, are believing a lie.  Let
> me suggest that you go back and read this testimony again and you
> will see yourself, in some way, in my story.  Then pick up your
> telephone and call me.
>
> Safe Place Fellowship
> Phil Scovell
> Denver, Colorado - Mountain Time Zone
> Phone:  303-507-5175
> Web:  WWW.SafePlaceFellowship.COM
> Web:  WWW.RedWhiteAndBlue.ORG
>
>
>
>
>
> Crazy For Jesus
> www.SafePlaceFellowship.com