Today is interresting.  I am struggling both inside and out.  Wayne Watson 
has a song that says, "Lord, I'm growin', And I don't like it." ...  The 
feelings of change both physically and emotionally are sometimes tough at 
best to cope with.  Physically, I am in a great deal of pain because the 
doctors denied me the prescribed Darviset that seemed to help so much.  I am 
taking a milder pain pill, but it doesn't seem to relieve the pain.  In my 
chest and shoulders where I've had the catheters and PIC lines inserted for 
the I.V. therapy, there is a constant low-grage pain that worsens with humid 
weather and higher barametric pressures.  Sometimes it is so tough that I 
might find myself crying in the night.  Sometimes I can deal with it.

As some of you know, I made a really foolish mistake and left my hometown 
thinking I was going to live alone in an apartment but my boyfriend moved in 
while I was hospitalized making it really hard for me to feel like I was 
living the Christ-centered life I so want to live.  While I am alone now 
here in Columbus and surrounded by a multitude of new friends, both 
believers and nonbelievers, this relationship still has a hold on me.  I 
know that God knows my heart and it is so turbulent at times that only He 
can calm it.  There are good friends in my life who serve as helpful 
sounding boards, but, I'm asking you all to covenant with me to pray for 
God's victory in this matter.

Prior to my moving away from Warren, I had a counselor with whom I could 
talk on a regular basis to problem solve and balance my extremes.  I don't 
have a counselor here and I have been trying to keep myself busy by working 
or anything to avoid dealing with the myriad of issues that nag at me.  I 
have one great fortress in the Lord and He is my only fortress.  He is why I 
can write this to my fellow believers.  I am homesick for my brothers and 
sisters in Christ who now live far from me, and I haven't gotten close 
enough to the people here in Columbus to feel that I have somebody in whom 
to confide or to pray with me.  I miss the choir and I miss the Bible study. 
Yes, I read on my own, but there is a strong desire to study with others as 
I used to.

Well, anyway, change is not necessarily bad, and I'm sure God will see me 
through this.  Thanks for listening, and thanks for praying.  Phil, please 
e-mail me your phone number off list and I will try to call you at a good 
time for you either Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday.  Or ... perhaps today.  OH, 
yeah, today is Tuesday.  LOL, and I have a quack attack.  The podiatrist 
will look at my foot and tell me I'm doing fine but remember to put that 
lotion on.  LOL.

I love you, my brothers and sisters.

April