Here are some math boosters for ya. Hope this lightens things up a little.
Sharon
A Norwegian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes
a little math test.
"Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers,
represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" the Norwegian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to
draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree
make nine," says the Norwegian.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same
rules, but this time the number is 99." The Norwegian stares into space for
a while,
then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each
tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do
you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's
dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this
Norwegian, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but
represent
the number 100." The Norwegian stares into space some more, then he picks up
the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says,
"Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that
represents a hundred!" (You're going to love this one!!!) The Norwegian
leans forward
and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog
came along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd,
dirty
tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hundred. So, when I
start?"
math funny
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a
public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a
calculator. At a morning press conference, The US attorney general said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being
charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. Al-gebra is a
fearsome cult, the attorney general said. "They desire average solutions by
means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
values. They use secret code names like 'x' and'y' and refer to themselves
as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of
the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted
us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more
fingers and toes."
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