Kathy,

I remember the various times I had to tell Gretchen to leave.  The hardest
time was when she was 16 years old and had my infant grandson with her.
Boy, I just about couldn't do that one.  Letting them return is difficult,
too, but as you said, the peace at home is worth a fortune.  My daughter
could screw up a rock fight as a friend of mine in Texas is notorious for
saying.  I have no idea what it means but it sounds about right.  Anyhow,
people like my daughter have original plans, backup plans, and plans if the
backup plans don't work.  She has freely admitted this to me.  You let Chris
come home and you'll be sorry.  Besides, he called you and tried to sound
like he was doing the family a big favor by coming home.  That's because he
has grown tired of living by his girl friend's family rules which is likely
next to none.  Even that is proving to be too much for Chris right now I
would guess.  I have two friends in prison right now because, even as adult
men, one is 36 and the other is 38 years of age, they not only cannot keep
family rules but they cannot even keep societal rules.  Chris, if he moves
back in, will eventually, sooner than later I would guess, decide his rules
supercede the family rules.  Besides, I don't trust him.  Anybody who tries
physically threatening his own mother and father rates pretty low my list.
I've called Brad and he has agree to fly out there with me to have a talk
with the boy.  I suggested Brad bring his bat because his is made of wood
and is larger than mine.  Sometimes boys are difficult when it comes to
getting their attention and Brad is really good at that.  I just had to
spank, with a woodent paddle, my 6 year old grandson.  It about wore me out
so this is why I figure I can depend upon Brad.  Come to think of it, maybe
I should bring my youngest son, too.  You know, the one about to take his
fourth degree black belt test?  He loves practicing.  I'm kidding, of
course, but just keep doing what you are doing, Kathy.  We aren't going to
screw up your family or your church again by letting some kid run the show
at home.  When Gretchen was living on the streets, sort of speak, I made
lots of phone calls trying to find my grandchildren until we took them away
from her.  I even had a very serious talk with a bar tender she was living
with one day.  He hung up on me.  Imagine such a thing.  So, being the brave
person that I am, I called him right back, knowing that his answering
machine would come on.  then I gave him 30 seconds to return my call, or to
have my daughter call back, or I would be coming over to pay him a visit
momentarily.  Gretchen called back in 30 seconds, or less.  I may it very
clear to gretchen what would happen to her friends if she started up this
deal of telling them to tell her father that she wasn't there.  It never
happened again.  Thank the Lord there are no children involved with your
situation.  At least not yet.  Didn't Chris build a little fort house in
your backyard?  He could stay there if he wants to come home but meals are
not included.  I'm just full of free advice so take it for what it's worth.
Free advice is about what it is worth, too.  I've become an expert of not
knowing what to do and doing it.

Phil.

Learning Jesus
www.SafePlaceFellowship.com