That is great to hear. Praying the maturing continues and relationships
are restored. I'm still looking for the day when yawl are sitting around
over a cup of coffee laughing about the days when Chris did this and did
that. That day will come... I've seen it happen before.
Brad
on 12:25 PM 5/20/2006, Kathy Du Bois said:
Hi Guys,
Well, It looks as though Eudora and Microsoft have declared a truce for
the moment, allowing me to get a message to you from behind enemy lines
concerning the state of affairs, better known as, life in Maine, at
present. All troops are present and accounted for and conditions appear
favorable.
We had all the kids home for Mother's day last Sunday. Greg and I stayed
at church for adult Sunday school, which happens after worship at our
church, and Liz and Matt went to Bangor to pick Chris up and bring him
home for the afternoon. After dropping Chris and Liz off at home, Matt
came back to church to pick Caleb, and us up and take us home as well.
By the way, in case you're wondering, we are back down to one car because
that little fender bender that Matt got in to at the beginning of the
month resulted in having the car declared "totaled," by the insurance
company. Oh well, easy come, easy go. Too bad too because we had just
invested in a tune up and new tires. Ouch! I'm sure glad that our Lord
owns the cattle on a thousand hills cause it looks like we may need to
sell a few, but that's another story. Back to family matters.
When we arrived home, Chris had taken it upon himself to vacuum our
living room and sweep our kitchen floor. I had made a pot of chili for
dinner, but I hadn't had a chance to clean up completely before church, so
he had also cleaned the counter and stove tops. It was really sweet.
Chris has often complained, in the past about what a lousy driver Matt
is, so Matt and I were both dreading what Chris would say when he learned
about the car, but Chris didn't say anything nasty or critical at
all. That in itself was a relief. In fact, the whole meal was pleasant
and Chris is hoping that he can come out to be with us again some time
during Memorial day weekend to have one more family gathering before Matt
goes to Michigan for his summer job.
Chris was open to talking about himself. He shared with Greg and me,
privately, about all his confusing feelings about his relationship with
Nicki. I asked him if he would be willing to read Doctor Laura's book,
"The Ten Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up their Lives." He said that he
would be willing. We purchased it for him on Wednesday and Greg dropped it
off Thursday morning. I talked to Chris for a bit Friday morning and he
had already been reading it some and told me that he's seeing himself on
the pages.
He also asked Greg and I if we would be willing to help him study the
bible. He said that he knows that we know a lot and he wants to
learn. He also said that he would be willing to do whatever we asked, but
we told him that he is an adult now and he needs to make his own
decisions. I think that he was hoping that we would order him to break up
with Nicki, but we won't. He needs to end the relationship because he
knows it's the right thing to do, not because we want him too. It's kind
of like getting to the point where you need to believe in Jesus because
it's right, not because your parents told you too. We just keep
respecting him as an adult and making him face the consequences of his
decisions even though it is very hard to resist the impulse to reach in
and rescue.
He is being forced, by the life program that he is involved with, to go
to the learning center at least twice a week to work toward his G., E.D.
The program is putting pressure on him to look for full time work as
well. He can get kicked out of this program if he doesn't cooperate. He
knows this because his roommate is getting kicked out this week for
continuing to keep a girlfriend and baby in the apartment that the program
is providing, so I think that Chris is deciding to take the threat
seriously and begin to get his life in order.
Chris is also still interested in the military so the program is also
arranging for him to talk with a recruiter as soon as possible. Now, for
another interesting twist, Greg's youngest brother is already in the
military and has been for 21 years. David, Greg's brother, called me this
past Monday and pretty much ordered me to tell Chris not to sign anything
until Chris talks to him first. David is stationed in Korea right now,
but that doesn't matter because he uses phonage and is linked through his
home phone in Missouri. So, I gave David Chris's number and I gave Chris
David's number and I think Chris knows that David means business. We'll
just have to see how this plays out. Chris has told us that his main
interest in the military is to gain self-discipline. That is an
interesting commentary on what he thinks of himself right there.
One other thing that surprised us last Sunday was Chris's reaction to the
fact that we are sending Liz to Florida for a music camp at a Christian
college there, in July. At first, he sounded incredulous, but when I
said that Liz has shown real self discipline by sitting down at the piano
for the past nine years and practicing on an almost daily basis and
how we had spent a lot of money on Him during his teen years, he backed
down right away and agreed that Liz deserved this reward. I think that he
knew that I was referring to all the time and money that we had spent on
counseling for him and trying to help him chase his dreams when he was in
high-school. This time though, instead of complaining that we had been
stupid to spend the money, especially on counseling, which he had declared
at the time that he didn't need, he just backed down and agreed with me
and dropped the matter altogether.
Wow! This has really gotten long. Sorry about that. I am just so
grateful to the Lord that our relationship is beginning to be restored. I
had to share it all with you guys because you have so faithfully prayed
for my family. I appreciate that so much. I don't for a moment think
that we are out of the woods completely. There is still the matter of
Nicki and Chris is still hanging around questionable people, but I think
that he is glad that things are better between us as well. He's always
glad to hear from me when I call and that, at least, is a start.
Kathy
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