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Date: | Mon, 29 Oct 2007 21:45:01 -0400 |
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My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first
mistake).
One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors
was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why
she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the
kitchen?
Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that
those were for "special occasions" (her second mistake). Now fast
forward a few months..
It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle
and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they
were gone.
Mine was to set the table. When they returned, my uncle came in first
and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped,
then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter.
Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each
place setting on the table with a "special occasion" Kotex napkin at
each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even
tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!! My
mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the
other adults into further fits of laughter.
"But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!!! "
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