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Hi list!

Many thanks for all responses.  Most were thoughtful, with a few  
oddly angry responses.  My original question is at the bottom of this  
message for those who missed it.

Though I specified having difficulty with boring food at higher end  
restaurants with American fare, I got lots of suggestions to eat at  
ethnic restaurants  or to go to lower end chains, like Outback.   
Well, I love ethnic foods, but not all my friends and business  
associates feel the same. Since the only time I eat out is in such  
social settings, ethnic food is not always possible.  I am  
vegetarian, as are many of my friends, so Outback is not my first  
choice.  Nor does going to a place with a GF menu really answer the  
question of how to deal with American chefs-- though I surely  
appreciate a good meal in a comfortable place, so I do appreciate the  
helpful intent of those messages.  Some made suggestions of specific  
local and not-so-local restaurants--again helpful, even if not with  
the exact question I was asking

There were several emails telling me to stay home and cook, which  
concerns me about the social health of some list participants--we all  
need to be able to move through the larger world, if possible! I do  
stay home and cook for myself most of the time, which is not  
contributing to good mental health for someone like me, living alone  
in a rural area!

There were a few votes to just live with it, that it was not worth  
the risk to be picky.  This is a point of view with merit.

Most responses centered on improved communication with tips to go  
during off hours (again, not so practical when eating out in group/ 
social situations), to use the Triumph dining cards (I do, I do!) or  
other more personalized communication, to call ahead, and to go to  
the restaurant often enough to build a relationship with the chef.  I  
don't eat out often enough to build a relationship with any given  
restaurant.  I will try calling ahead in the future, that is not  
something I have done at nicer restaurants.  There were lots of  
suggestions to tell the chef things that I can eat (tell them butter,  
garlic, fresh/pure spices and herbs etc).

  A couple people suggested bring one's own condiments or sauces.  I  
have no idea how this would be practical in the summer heat.  Do  
people who do this carry a cooler to the restaurant, and then onward  
to a movie or theater show?  I don't even carry a purse!  I cannot  
imagine carrying around something to convey condiments--I would need  
more specific coaching on how
to make that work.  Plus, if you have not seen the menu, how do you  
decide what to bring?  This is an interesting suggestion that truly  
puzzled me.

Thanks to everyone who responded kindly to my question!  The support  
was nice to get.  I will keep trying to improve my communication with  
restaurant staff!!  --mel


original question:

Hi all,
      The recent thread, and some of my recent eating out experiences
lead to another eating out question.  When eating at restaurants nice
enough to have a real chef, I find that they want to offer me a very
plain piece of fish or meat, and steamed plain veggies.  At first I
was just thrilled that I was eating out again, and that this food
seemed safe.  To the credit of various chefs who have served me, I do
not think I have had accidental gluten this way.  However, the thrill
is wearing off.  I find myself looking longingly at the wonderful
foods on my friends' plates and wishing for more.

      Does anyone have suggestions on how to get a safe meal that is
not so boring?  I use the Triumph dining cards (no personal or
financial interest), and that does keep communication clear and
easy.  Am I asking too much for safe and interesting food?  I don't
want to be reckless, but I want better food!

      This problem has been at restaurants offering American fare, I
have had better luck with ethnic foods, but when going in a group it
can be harder to get agreement with more exotic choices.

      Thanks for any insights or suggestions.


Melinda Freckleton, DVM
Catlett, VA
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"History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period  
of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people,  
but the appalling silence of the good people."  Dr. Martin Luther  
King Jr.

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